Declaration of Independence: 2009

This is what can happen when you take one of the most important documents in this country's history and likewise one of it's greatest holidays, and let them get tangled up with sarcasm, irony, and the twisted mind of someone like ... me. I hope you enjoy it.

 
About Congress July 4, 2009  

The Re-Declaration of Independence of the 50 Oppressed United States of America

When in the course of government controlled events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which connected them to a viable form of government, and to assume among the powers of the earth an intellectual position which has nothing to do with either The Laws of Nature or to Nature's God to which they are entitled, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes that have separated them from their own good Common Sense.  

We hold these truths to be evident to all apparently but right wing talk radio hosts, that all men are created equal, some of course being more equal than others. That while they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, they are encouraged by Government and the Mainstream Media to a lack of courage and good sense which thereby allows them to relinquish those same rights: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness; while simultaneously embracing the the ridiculous concepts of the right to a good paying job, to full medical care, to a home that they can't make the payments on, to a smoke-free environment, and to full amnesty for illegal immigration.  

That to secure such relinquishment, Governments are corruptly expanded in spite of Men, deriving their overbearing powers from the belief that elected officials and bureaucrats are far smarter than the rest of us. That whenever any form of Government becomes aggressive in securing such twisted ends, it is the further Right of the People to be ignored by such Government, and for that Government to create new laws, rules, and regulations to exert further control over a population that has become little more the bleating sheep; laying its foundation on previously committed abuses of power, and altering such rules or forms as may be deemed necessary to most likely protect their petty Government positions, salaries, and benefits.  

Prudence indeed will dictate that Governments, changing the rules as they go along, shall not be changed back, nor challenged for light, transient, or any other causes. Accordingly all experience has shown that once such Government has been instituted, that mankind becomes more disposed to suffer the most insufferable of evils rather than to right a ship of state that has listed so far to the left that the deck may no longer be stood upon. 

But when a long train of abuse and usurpation pursuing invariably the same Object, evinces a design to reduce them under all but absolute Despotism, it should be their right and their duty to throw off such Government, excepting that such would mean that doing so would require far too many of what has become little more than sheeple to remove their overstuffed faces from the Government trough.  

Such is now the patient suffering of the people of these states and is now the necessity which constrains them, as the Federal government seeks to alter the last bit of freedom and liberty left in this nation in order to fully embrace the concept that a lack of need for honest labor, for self-reliance, and for personal responsibility are essential to their continued happiness. 

To prove this, let the Facts of our Government be submitted to a candid world. It has confiscated the legitimate property of some to in turn give it to others; outside the rule of law, the concept of a legally binding contracts, and the definition of property It has favored Union workers over legitimate investors when dividing up private corporations that it has no right to divide in any way, let alone as it sees fit. It has fired the chief executives of private companies with neither the vote nor approval of that company's Board of Directors. It has forced private companies to accept government funding, and with it government control. It has forced both sale and merger on private companies at the point of a financial gun and the threat of a full forced, government backed negative media campaign. It has appointed the equivalent of government royalty (more commonly known as czars) without either lawful election or legislative branch confirmation. It has sought to make equal not opportunity of all, but the results of all through wealth distribution in the form of ill-disguised onerous and oppressive taxation. 

In every stage of these Oppressions, we citizens have sat idly by for the most part, ignorant by choice to the assault on liberty, and freedom and numb to the abuses of power committed upon them. Those few who have humbly begged for a return to common sense and a redress of such past ills as have been committed have been universally maligned and unmercifully vilified for their efforts by both those in power and by the members of the so-called fourth estate.  

We the few remaining therefore, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for rectitude of our intentions, do in the Name, and by the Authority granted us under the original Declaration of Independence, and by the Constitution on which our Government was designed (and limited), solemnly publish and declare ourselves in opposition to the destruction of freedoms and liberties being perpetrated on us at an ever increasing pace in this country. We further declare that we will peacefully resist further oppression of its people and perversion of its laws to the best of our abilities, and if need be to our final breath. We undertake this endeavor humbly, but firm in our resolve, firm in the belief of our principles, and with the knowledge of the rightness of our cause as God has given us the light to see it.  

I believe that most of you reading this see its point, and for those of you who do not, there is probably little further that I can do to open your eyes. I will at least wish you happy grazing in the years ahead. As for me, I have now taken my stand and issued my own Declaration of Independence. Let the fireworks begin!

Happy 4th of July


 

TFP Column: Greenhouse Gases - Congressional Offenses

It's the weekend once again, and for many of us in fact a long weekend, since tomorrow is the 4th of July. Yes, 233 years ago we signed the document that made this country free. It is fitting therefore, that my column in the Toledo Free Press talks a little bit about one of the single largest restrictions of that freedom perpetrated since then, the Waxman-Markey Cap and Trade bill. In my particularly warped take on the subject, I point out some of the illustrations of the massive Carbon Footprint of the Federal Government while they are seeking to reduce the footprint of the private sector.

The front page feature talks about a group that has grown out of the Tea Parties (and whose most recent meeting I attended), The Children of Liberty; which seems a particularly appropriate subject in light of the weekend holiday. Michael Miller has done another of his amazing columns, this one a letter to the president done after a recent garage sale. Jim Harpen has a great effort going over the scorecard of mayoral candidates, most of them Independents (I love these clever play on words pieces). Publisher Tom Pounds also talks about the Mayoral race in Toledo, but his intriguing insight into the numbers is one that we should all be aware (and nervous) about. There are also two interesting guest columns by Darlene Fisher and Dean Sparks.

There's oh so much more where that came from in this week's TFP. It's going to be a beautiful weekend in Toledo, with lots to do and lots to see; but if I were you, I would make sure that the TFP is part of your weekend.

(and for even more nonsense relating to the 4th, don't miss tomorrow's twisted contribution here)

 

My Response to Cap & Trade

The Waxman - Markey Cap & Trade bill passed the US House of Representatives on June 26th. While the bill has yet to be introduced into the Senate, and may not have the votes to pass this more deliberative body, I for one am looking at the behavior modification that I can make in order to compensate for my years of living a large carbon footprint. If Congress should see fit to pass such landmark legislation, the least that I can do (always a solid plan) is to attempt to find way to comply with this potentially life altering legislation. 

Please understand me when I tell you that I have not managed to read the entire bill (in fact I have read very little of it). This is not in order to pass on fraudulent information or recommendations on here at "Just Blowing Smoke" however, but in order to maintain the pristine condition of my mind in regards to this subject, something that was obviously considered critical by those same elective representatives who voted for this over 1000 page piece of legislation without reading it. 

In the spirit of the effort shown by Congress however, I have decided to make the following significant changes in my own life in order to reduce my carbon footprint:

• Eat more steak and pork: I understand that cows and pigs are some of the largest producers of greenhouse gases, both carbon dioxide and methane (farts). I figure that if I can eat enough of them, I can reduce their output, creating some slack for either myself or someone else's use.
• Eat less vegetables: Like the above listed goal, I realize that plants convert carbon dioxide into oxygen. Therefore eating less vegetables means that there will be more plants out there to do the converting, something which cannot help but be better for the environment.
• Get my complex to stop cleaning the pool: The algae in the pool in my complex, much like the vegetables previously mentioned, could be expected to convert a certain amount of carbon dioxide into oxygen. Therefore more algae, less greenhouse gas. (Besides, I don't use the pool anyway.)
• Stop Boiling Water: I was shocked to discover in my own limited studies that water vapor is one of the major offending gasses in the greenhouse effect. It may not be much of a contribution, but if I can stop boiling water, perhaps I will contribute less water vapor to the atmosphere.
• Stop exercising: Though I really should be losing weight, I am concerned that excessive exercise would raise my respiratory rate and produce sweating, which would increase both my carbon dioxide and water vapor output.
• Drink Guinness instead of other tap beers: While almost all other tap beers use carbon dioxide to inject more carbonation into their product, Guinness uses nitrogen. Drinking Guinness instead of other tap beers will therefore reduce my carbon footprint.
• Talk Less: This may prove the most difficult, but even if it has no effect on saving the planet, it will never the less prove a great relief to those who know me personally and have been hoping that something would finally get me to "shut the hell up".

I know that all of this may not have the potential dramatic impact on man-made global climate change that the Waxman - Markey legislation will, but we must each contribute our own small efforts in support of Congress's actions. (Besides, I don't believe that man has much impact in the so called man-made global climate change anyway.)

 

Radio Day

I thought that I would take this week's weekend posting to talk a little bit about my experience yesterday. For those of you who missed it (oh, you fortunate ones) last night I hosted the one hour "Eye On Toledo" radio show on NewsTalk 1370 WSPD. The experience was all that I hoped for. 

For those of you who have never attempted such a thing, let me describe some of the highlights to you: 

• 45 Minutes Prior: You show up to the studio to prepare for the show, only to realize that you don't know what you're doing, so there's nothing to prepare. You are therefore going to have plenty of time to think about what you are about to do 
• 15 Minutes Prior: Nervous, but not yet panicked. There is another show going on, and the staff is treating the day like any other. You are the only person assuming that you will fail. 
•  5 Minutes Prior: Your mouth is so dry that you feel that you must have crossed Sinai with Moses. Certainly someone will come to their senses, realize that you can't do this, and allow you to run screaming from the building before it's too late. 
• 1 Minute Prior: Too late! They tell you that you are about to go on the air. You look around you but realize that there is no escape for you. Your one hope is that when they will flip the switch enough volts will pass through your body to leave you unconscious. 
• 5 Minutes In: You realize that you have just used the material that you thought would last you for at least half an hour. Full fledged panic mode has become your reality and you are frantically reaching for more material, knowing that only a miracle can save you. 
• 16 Minutes In: Thank God for the first break and the Wall Street Journal Report. It is the only thing that prevented you from taking your own life, live and on the air. You are now convinced that you are a babbling idiot and that it was a mistake for you to be born, let alone do a radio show. 
•  22 Minutes In: The break was long enough for you to come up with a Plan B. But as you were contemplating attempted suicide by paper cut, you realize that someone (a friend in fact) has called in. You grab for that life jacket and begin to interact with the audience, who is attempting to bail you out in what can only be a belated feeling of sympathy. Somehow you realize that you will make it to the bottom of the hour and safety, more commonly known as commercials. 
• 36 Minutes In: You read the weather and reach again into a stack of stuff, now far too thin to sustain the life of the show. Desperate and aware of your own inadequacies, you grab for anything in the stack to fill the time. You also begin to talk slower than you have ever done in your life. 
• 47 Minutes In: You pull out a rant that you figured would never need to be used. You begin to read it both slowly and carefully for two reasons:

1. To stretch it for as long as you can, and 
2. Because your connection with the English language is becoming tenuous at best Since your brain left the building sometime earlier in the evening, you also hope that you are a better writer than a reader. 

• 58 Minutes In: The staff at the station begins to look at you in the same way that the guards in a death penalty state must look at prisoners when the reprieve call comes through from the governor. You look at what you are doing and what the clock says, and begin to understand that you may have in fact survived this experience. 
• 1.5 hours afterward (and after a couple of adult beverages): You realize that in spite of your initial fear at doing this and the terror that you felt while doing it, you actually had some fun. You also realize how good the professionals behind the scenes in radio are, how talented they are in effortlessly choreographing this delicate ballet, and that it is only because of their efforts that you didn't make a complete ass of yourself. You even begin to think that you might like another shot at something like this some day, thinking that you might do better (not like that would be hard). 

 
Folks, it really was an amazing experience! I appreciate the opportunity that Brian Wilson gave me in trusting me with an hour on the radio. I likewise appreciate the support and help of the staff at the Death Star (what they call the studio) in getting through the experience, and especially that of Phil McGeehan the Assistant Program Director. I don't think that I will ever be able to thank all of them enough. Who knows, maybe I didn't screw up too much, and they will let me take a shot at it again. 

TFP Column: Founding Father's Day

 
Well the weekend is upon us once again, which means it's time for the Toledo Free Press. Likewise it's time for yet another "Just Blowing Smoke" column in this distinguished newspaper. This week's effort, Founding Father's Day, covers two of my pet peeves; Hallmark Holidays and the lack of respect shown the Founding Fathers.

As always, there is much, much more to the TFP than my paltry efforts. Caitland McGlade has a couple of interesting stories this week, one on the Point Place neighborhoods ongoing situation with FEMA, the Corp of Engineers, and the city's lack of maintenance for local levies, and another on the attack on local activist Robert Brundage. 

Christine Senack has a great piece on the ties of the Jamie Farr Golf Classic to local charities. The opinion columns, as usual, also have some interesting information to pass on. 

Dock Treece sees some positive signs to the economy, much to my relief. Publisher 

Tom Pounds talks about the All-American city competition recently completed in Tampa, FL. 

Tom Morrissey does a particularly interesting piece on Jon Stainbrook's unintentional efforts to create a 3rd party locally. 

And of course Editor in Chief Michael once again has an entertaining piece on his first family business to a Chuck E Cheese. (Oh man, do I remember those) With all this available both in print and online, how can you not spend a little time with the Toledo Free Press this weekend.

Just as a side note, I am currently working on that book on the care and feeding of peeves. Look for it in bookstores soon.

Fairness Doctrine Gone Wild

In a rather twisted use of the Fairness Doctrine, News Talk Radio 1370 WSPD, is choosing to balance the level of intelligence that is normally heard on the "Eye on Toledo" show in the evening by allowing me to guest host the show on Friday, the 26th.

Now those of you who know me know that I have never hosted anything more complicated than a backyard cookout, and that my experience in radio is ... listening to it.  On top of that, I will be subbing for fellow blogger (and good friend) Maggie Thurber, promising comparisons that will not flatter yours truly.

So for those of you who are interested in listening to a train wreck as it happens, for those of you who would like to hear the level to which mass media can sink in Toledo, for those of you interested in watching a person commit social suicide live and on the air; I recommend that you turn your radio on Friday evening to listen (and even participate in the festivities if you choose). Living outside the range of the WSPD transmitter is no excuse either, as you can go to WSPD.com and click on the "Listen Live" button at 6:00 PM Eastern Time.

She's Got A Ticket To Write

Update:

Phil McGeehan, the assistant program director at 1370 WSPD, and a damn fine musician, has written a parody tune based on the original effort by the Beatles. We are trying to figure out a way in which to create a link to it and if that happens, I will put up a new posting (or at least an update).      

It is disturbing for me to note this week that political stagecraft, posturing, and sheer gall are not restricted to male politicians in Toledo and Lucas County. For just when I had completed my initial work into a serious academic comparative study of politicians, lunacy, and grandstanding; along comes Sue Frederick to ruin years, OK months, alright days ... OK, a couple of hours of serious scientific research.
 
Now for those of you who have not heard the story (and there might be a few of you outside of the Toledo / Northwest Ohio area), Sue Frederick is the "Acting" Commissioner of Streets, Bridges and Harbors in Toledo. Without getting too technical on this, the title means that she is responsible for the repair of streets and bridges, leaf collection, and snow removal (The City of Toledo website describing her position says nothing about harbors, in spite of the title and the fact that we have harbors serving the Great Lakes. Go figure.) Sue is the "acting" commissioner because the position requires that one filling it needs to be a certified engineer in the State of Ohio, which Ms Frederick is not.

In addition the responsibilities of her office as "Acting" Commissioner, under the Toledo Municipal code, she also has some special powers and carries a badge. Like the Mayor, members of City Council, and a few other select members of city government, she has been granted "special police powers". These powers meant to be used in emergency situations in order to be of assistance to the police and / or the city. Ms. Frederick however, has evidently decided that what they in fact mean is that "there's a new sheriff in town".

According to information released by the city, upon receiving a complaint of a parking violation, our stalwart commissioner "responded". Of course before she responded to an alleged offense, she found time to create a parking ticket form, in which she cited the wrong section of the Municipal Code and left a number of misspellings to her effort. While responding to the original offense, Ms. Frederick was informed that additional offenders were nearby, and not one to overlook an opportunity, she cited them as well. These parking violations, by the way, were for residents parking on gravel driveways or pads on their own property. 

Of course it should be noted that these parking tickets are not your everyday parking ticket, a charge that can be appealed in municipal court, but a special version which must be adjudicated by a special hearing officer. Unfortunately, no such hearing office exists in Toledo to review these citations (probably making them invalid), but Ms. Frederick has promised continued enforcement none the less, which will leave residents the option to either pay the ticket or have it sent to a collection agency.
So just to recap here:
 
We have an "Acting" Commissioner who is not qualified to actually hold the position that she does exercising special powers which she may not be qualified to hold as an "Acting" Commissioner. In exercising this power which she may not actually have, she 'created' her own flawed ticket form, then drove out to residences in Toledo to write tickets to people parking on their own property improperly citing the appropriate Municipal code. Add to this that the code, even if properly cited, did not have the required review process or personnel in place, and that the City Law Director has already stated that the tickets are probably unenforceable.

Called before a hearing at City Council on Monday, our intrepid Commissioner was both belligerent and unrepentant, and challenged a member of Council for interfering with her in performance of her self-assigned duties. A further (and later) response from the city stated that the original tickets, carrying a fine of $25, will be replaced with new ones carrying a fine of $75. (This may be a serious attempt by the city to make up it's $12.5 million deficit, in which case they better get writing.) 
 
Only in Toledo, can such a thing contemplated without the tearing of hair and clothing, and gnashing of teeth. My response instead however, with ADD and warped sense of humor in full bloom, is to recall (and paraphrase) the lyrics from an old Beatles tune: 

"She's gotta ticket to write. She's gotta ticket to write... ite ... ite. She got a ticket to write, and she don't care."

Father's Day 2009

I tried to avoid writing a post on Father's Day (much like last year). While I consider it a "Hallmark Holiday", it is still too sensitive a subject for me to attempt to deal with. 

My efforts in this damned near succeeded. Instead of actually writing anything new this weekend however, I am going to refer you to the Father's Day posting that I grudgingly did last year. As I went back over it this year, I discovered that I really had nothing further to say on the subject.

I will actually be spending a good part of the weekend with my son Sean in Columbus, where we will undoubtedly participate in our own unique version of the father / son experience, something that I always look forward to.

I should also note (just for the giggles) that Father's Day will be competing in downtown Columbus with Gay Pride Weekend, so it promises to be an interesting (and diverse) visit. 

Happy Father's Day

Pop Go The Weasels

Having changed forever the way that we look at capitalism, our government is ready to move on to its next "crisis". This is a crisis that must be dealt with NOW, or the very life and health of the American people is at stake. Of course this problem is what to do about health care. 

Now like me, many of you out there may have a failing memory. You may therefore not remember that we had this same crisis with us (and many of the same answers proposed) the last time that we had a Democratic president. It was back in 1993, and First Lady Hillary Clinton chaired the task force on health care reform. 

The conclusions reached 16 years ago, strangely enough, was that even then we were all doomed unless the government stepped in and began to take control over a major portion of America's health care. Congress however, did not seem nearly as anxious to meddle in this rather significant part of the GDP as the President and First Lady however, and in spite of the Chicken Little predictions of the world's ending, they failed to pass any new health care legislation. 

Amazingly enough, somehow we survived. The Obama Administration however, seems to be on a roll these days. No one seems to know how to say "no" to this man on any amount of money, any level of bureaucratic increase, or any level of control or interference that he sees fit to make in the private sector. In fact the government seems to have shifted the argument on health care to how much of an additional role the federal government will have and how much control it will have in deciding treatment rather than whether such a role for the government is necessary in the first place. 

The dirty little secret that few like to talk about in these days of multi-trillion dollar debt however is how much it will cost and who will pay for it. According to a June 16th Wall Street Journal article by Greg Hitt and Laura Meckler, the first 9 years of this plan are expected to cost at least 1 trillion dollars (a number that used to mean something until a couple of months ago). Government speak tells us that if this is the estimate now, the reality will in fact be far more, how much more nobody really knows. 

This is a lot of money to raise for the Fed's coffers now that tobacco has been taxed to the point that any further raises in the rate might kill the golden goose. Enter soda pop... It seems that some in government think it a good idea to pay the bill for government health care expansion by taxing soda pop with sugar in it. After all, such liquids have been linked to both obesity and to diabetes in the past. Since these diseases will likely add to the overall cost of a person's health care, such taxation seems only logical.  

So goes the slippery slope of a tax and spend, progressive, statist point of view. First it was tobacco and now it's soda pop (I guess memories of Prohibition are scaring them away from alcohol for now). When they find out there's not enough money to be had in soda taxes, you won't have to wait long for the french fry tax, the cheeseburger tax, the cheesecake tax, and maybe even a doughnut tax. It will all be argued as a logical necessity to our health and well being, but is truly nothing more than government behavior modification through taxation. 

We will allow the government to take just a bit of our freedom in the name of our health, in effect punishing us for making choices that they do not approve of. And as these rodent bureaucrats scurry around Washington, gnash their teeth, and salivate over their petty victory over us, as they gloat while counting our money in their wasteful pockets, as they do truly chase "us" around the mulberry bush (instead of as the lyrics of the nursery rhyme go); it will be "Pop!" goes the weasels.

TFP Column: Creating A Police State

Yes it's Friday once again, and that means yet another effort penned for the Toledo Free Press. This week's column, "Creating a police state", deals with our city's most recent brush with national celebrity by the issuing of parking tickets by a person without a badge. I think that it might be a take on this that has not yet been put forward.

As usual, my small effort is one of many things that you are going to want to read this week. Michael Miller's piece on our 70 year-old Mayor attempting to break up a fight with more than two dozen young people involved is a tour de force effort. Tom Pounds effort on the recently resigned head of city council Mark Sobczak provides some needed perspective on the man and the job. Heather Miller presents a cautionary piece on the exposure that the Internet can provide (good and bad).

There is plenty to catch up on in the local Toledo scene this weekend as well, from the teen running for Toledo Mayor to the Father's Day events that will be going on this weekend. Saturday looks like a rainy one, a perfect opportunity to relax, catch up with everything going on in Toledo, and maybe even give Dad an extra hug (I am sure he will appreciate it).