Saturday, July 4, 2009

Declaration of Independence: 2009

This is what can happen when you take one of the most important documents in this country's history and likewise one of it's greatest holidays, and let them get tangled up with sarcasm, irony, and the twisted mind of someone like ... me. I hope you enjoy it.
About Congress July 4, 2009  

The Re-Declaration of Independence of the 50 Oppressed United States of America

When in the course of government controlled events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which connected them to a viable form of government, and to assume among the powers of the earth an intellectual position which has nothing to do with either The Laws of Nature or to Nature's God to which they are entitled, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes that have separated them from their own good Common Sense.  

We hold these truths to be evident to all apparently but right wing talk radio hosts, that all men are created equal, some of course being more equal than others. That while they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, they are encouraged by Government and the Mainstream Media to a lack of courage and good sense which thereby allows them to relinquish those same rights: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness; while simultaneously embracing the the ridiculous concepts of the right to a good paying job, to full medical care, to a home that they can't make the payments on, to a smoke-free environment, and to full amnesty for illegal immigration.  

That to secure such relinquishment, Governments are corruptly expanded in spite of Men, deriving their overbearing powers from the belief that elected officials and bureaucrats are far smarter than the rest of us. That whenever any form of Government becomes aggressive in securing such twisted ends, it is the further Right of the People to be ignored by such Government, and for that Government to create new laws, rules, and regulations to exert further control over a population that has become little more the bleating sheep; laying its foundation on previously committed abuses of power, and altering such rules or forms as may be deemed necessary to most likely protect their petty Government positions, salaries, and benefits.  

Prudence indeed will dictate that Governments, changing the rules as they go along, shall not be changed back, nor challenged for light, transient, or any other causes. Accordingly all experience has shown that once such Government has been instituted, that mankind becomes more disposed to suffer the most insufferable of evils rather than to right a ship of state that has listed so far to the left that the deck may no longer be stood upon. 

But when a long train of abuse and usurpation pursuing invariably the same Object, evinces a design to reduce them under all but absolute Despotism, it should be their right and their duty to throw off such Government, excepting that such would mean that doing so would require far too many of what has become little more than sheeple to remove their overstuffed faces from the Government trough.  

Such is now the patient suffering of the people of these states and is now the necessity which constrains them, as the Federal government seeks to alter the last bit of freedom and liberty left in this nation in order to fully embrace the concept that a lack of need for honest labor, for self-reliance, and for personal responsibility are essential to their continued happiness. 

To prove this, let the Facts of our Government be submitted to a candid world. It has confiscated the legitimate property of some to in turn give it to others; outside the rule of law, the concept of a legally binding contracts, and the definition of property It has favored Union workers over legitimate investors when dividing up private corporations that it has no right to divide in any way, let alone as it sees fit. It has fired the chief executives of private companies with neither the vote nor approval of that company's Board of Directors. It has forced private companies to accept government funding, and with it government control. It has forced both sale and merger on private companies at the point of a financial gun and the threat of a full forced, government backed negative media campaign. It has appointed the equivalent of government royalty (more commonly known as czars) without either lawful election or legislative branch confirmation. It has sought to make equal not opportunity of all, but the results of all through wealth distribution in the form of ill-disguised onerous and oppressive taxation. 

In every stage of these Oppressions, we citizens have sat idly by for the most part, ignorant by choice to the assault on liberty, and freedom and numb to the abuses of power committed upon them. Those few who have humbly begged for a return to common sense and a redress of such past ills as have been committed have been universally maligned and unmercifully vilified for their efforts by both those in power and by the members of the so-called fourth estate.  

We the few remaining therefore, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for rectitude of our intentions, do in the Name, and by the Authority granted us under the original Declaration of Independence, and by the Constitution on which our Government was designed (and limited), solemnly publish and declare ourselves in opposition to the destruction of freedoms and liberties being perpetrated on us at an ever increasing pace in this country. We further declare that we will peacefully resist further oppression of its people and perversion of its laws to the best of our abilities, and if need be to our final breath. We undertake this endeavor humbly, but firm in our resolve, firm in the belief of our principles, and with the knowledge of the rightness of our cause as God has given us the light to see it.  

I believe that most of you reading this see its point, and for those of you who do not, there is probably little further that I can do to open your eyes. I will at least wish you happy grazing in the years ahead. As for me, I have now taken my stand and issued my own Declaration of Independence. Let the fireworks begin!

Happy 4th of July



kck_kat said...

Where do I put my John Hancock?

Tim Higgins said...


In spite of the fact that I used my poor penmanship to write rather large, I am sure that you will be able to find plenty of space to work with.