Wednesday, July 1, 2009

My Response to Cap & Trade

The Waxman - Markey Cap & Trade bill passed the US House of Representatives on June 26th. While the bill has yet to be introduced into the Senate, and may not have the votes to pass this more deliberative body, I for one am looking at the behavior modification that I can make in order to compensate for my years of living a large carbon footprint. If Congress should see fit to pass such landmark legislation, the least that I can do (always a solid plan) is to attempt to find way to comply with this potentially life altering legislation. 

Please understand me when I tell you that I have not managed to read the entire bill (in fact I have read very little of it). This is not in order to pass on fraudulent information or recommendations on here at "Just Blowing Smoke" however, but in order to maintain the pristine condition of my mind in regards to this subject, something that was obviously considered critical by those same elective representatives who voted for this over 1000 page piece of legislation without reading it. 

In the spirit of the effort shown by Congress however, I have decided to make the following significant changes in my own life in order to reduce my carbon footprint:
  • Eat more steak and pork: I understand that cows and pigs are some of the largest producers of greenhouse gases, both carbon dioxide and methane (farts). I figure that if I can eat enough of them, I can reduce their output, creating some slack for either myself or someone else's use.
  • Eat less vegetables: Like the above listed goal, I realize that plants convert carbon dioxide into oxygen. Therefore eating less vegetables means that there will be more plants out there to do the converting, something which cannot help but be better for the environment.
  • Get my complex to stop cleaning the pool: The algae in the pool in my complex, much like the vegetables previously mentioned, could be expected to convert a certain amount of carbon dioxide into oxygen. Therefore more algae, less greenhouse gas. (Besides, I don't use the pool anyway.)
  • Stop Boiling Water: I was shocked to discover in my own limited studies that water vapor is one of the major offending gasses in the greenhouse effect. It may not be much of a contribution, but if I can stop boiling water, perhaps I will contribute less water vapor to the atmosphere.
  • Stop exercising: Though I really should be losing weight, I am concerned that excessive exercise would raise my respiratory rate and produce sweating, which would increase both my carbon dioxide and water vapor output.
  • Drink Guinness instead of other tap beers: While almost all other tap beers use carbon dioxide to inject more carbonation into their product, Guinness uses nitrogen. Drinking Guinness instead of other tap beers will therefore reduce my carbon footprint.
  • Talk Less: This may prove the most difficult, but even if it has no effect on saving the planet, it will never the less prove a great relief to those who know me personally and have been hoping that something would finally get me to "shut the hell up".
I know that all of this may not have the potential dramatic impact on man-made global climate change that the Waxman - Markey legislation will, but we must each contribute our own small efforts in support of Congress's actions. (Besides, I don't believe that man has much impact in the so called man-made global climate change anyway.)



Hooda Thunkit (Dave Zawodny) said...


"Talk Less: This may prove the most difficult, but even if it has no effect on saving the planet, it will never the less prove a great relief to those who know me personally and have been hoping that something would finally get me to "shut the hell up"."

Are you sure about this?

You know the world doesn't need another mute Amigo ;-)

Jay Ott said...


I think you *might* have missed the point that liberals, socialsts, & progressives are trying to make viz. that "all human beings are harmful to planet earth."

The simple fact is that they believe that only those who think and believe like they do, have a right to exist.

Of course, they won't come right out and say it. Instead, they say it by their incrementalistic actions which punish people for being human beings. They vote for bills they do not read; try to destroy industries of which they do not like, only to replace them with the industries that advance their careers and agendas.

Tim Higgins said...


I wouldn't say that I missed the point, except on purpose. We all know that the liberal environmental movement doesn't like human beings and thinks that the planet would be better off without them. We also know that they are not committed enough to their beliefs to kill each other and themselves in order to contribute to their own cause.

Since I can't ignore them however, I can at least make fun of them with my own warped sense of humor.

Tim Higgins said...


Silence has never been something I was capable of, but perhaps some reduction of volume and of volume I deliver it at would contribute to a reduction of noise pollution at the very least.


Winky Twinky said...

Hey Tim,

I am going to spend the weekend increasing my carbon footprint as much as possible...from driving a lot to running the grill, maybe even if I'm not cooking.. yeah, I'm wild and crazy like that.. Have a great 4th of July!! ;)

Tim Higgins said...


I like the plan! Maybe we can get a bunch of people to cook out next to their idling cars.

I hear that it's going to get up close to 80 degrees this weekend (in July), so make sure to turn on the air conditioners in your cars while idling.

kck_kat said...

I believe that if all fans of Just Blowing Smoke were to follow your plan, we could make a real impact! However, I wonder what the carbon footprint was for the printing of the kazillions of copies of that 1,000 page bill the NOBODY read was? In any case, I'm off to do my part by starting on the Guinness portion of your plan. If nothing else, I will help the Irish economy, and that works for me! In the meantime, Happy Independence Day and a big shout out to all those serving at home and overseas to allow us the freedoms we enjoy, even if it means trying to pass stupid bills like this one! (or to take trips to Latin America to visit lovers other than our spouses on the taxpayer dime!) God Bless America!

Roland Hansen said...

What ever happened to carbon copies?

Tim Higgins said...


You must have read my TFP column for this week, a pretty good trick since it won't be put up electronically until midnight. Then again, you always were ahead of me.


Tim Higgins said...


Aren't we all just carbon copies in a way?

But you bring up an interesting point - what was the footprint of all of that carbon paper from the old days?

Quite the 3 pipe question, eh Watson?