My Response to Cap & Trade

The Waxman - Markey Cap & Trade bill passed the US House of Representatives on June 26th. While the bill has yet to be introduced into the Senate, and may not have the votes to pass this more deliberative body, I for one am looking at the behavior modification that I can make in order to compensate for my years of living a large carbon footprint. If Congress should see fit to pass such landmark legislation, the least that I can do (always a solid plan) is to attempt to find way to comply with this potentially life altering legislation. 

Please understand me when I tell you that I have not managed to read the entire bill (in fact I have read very little of it). This is not in order to pass on fraudulent information or recommendations on here at "Just Blowing Smoke" however, but in order to maintain the pristine condition of my mind in regards to this subject, something that was obviously considered critical by those same elective representatives who voted for this over 1000 page piece of legislation without reading it. 

In the spirit of the effort shown by Congress however, I have decided to make the following significant changes in my own life in order to reduce my carbon footprint:

• Eat more steak and pork: I understand that cows and pigs are some of the largest producers of greenhouse gases, both carbon dioxide and methane (farts). I figure that if I can eat enough of them, I can reduce their output, creating some slack for either myself or someone else's use.
• Eat less vegetables: Like the above listed goal, I realize that plants convert carbon dioxide into oxygen. Therefore eating less vegetables means that there will be more plants out there to do the converting, something which cannot help but be better for the environment.
• Get my complex to stop cleaning the pool: The algae in the pool in my complex, much like the vegetables previously mentioned, could be expected to convert a certain amount of carbon dioxide into oxygen. Therefore more algae, less greenhouse gas. (Besides, I don't use the pool anyway.)
• Stop Boiling Water: I was shocked to discover in my own limited studies that water vapor is one of the major offending gasses in the greenhouse effect. It may not be much of a contribution, but if I can stop boiling water, perhaps I will contribute less water vapor to the atmosphere.
• Stop exercising: Though I really should be losing weight, I am concerned that excessive exercise would raise my respiratory rate and produce sweating, which would increase both my carbon dioxide and water vapor output.
• Drink Guinness instead of other tap beers: While almost all other tap beers use carbon dioxide to inject more carbonation into their product, Guinness uses nitrogen. Drinking Guinness instead of other tap beers will therefore reduce my carbon footprint.
• Talk Less: This may prove the most difficult, but even if it has no effect on saving the planet, it will never the less prove a great relief to those who know me personally and have been hoping that something would finally get me to "shut the hell up".

I know that all of this may not have the potential dramatic impact on man-made global climate change that the Waxman - Markey legislation will, but we must each contribute our own small efforts in support of Congress's actions. (Besides, I don't believe that man has much impact in the so called man-made global climate change anyway.)