Riverfront Real Estate

The Mayor of Toledo, Carlton S. Finkbeiner, has once again put on his real estate broker uniform. It is not a well-fitting oufit, nor is it particularly flattering to the mayor, but it does seem to cause a noticable drop in intelligence when worn. For those of you who seem confused about why the mayor would be wearing ... well, anything but a mayor suit. It seems as though there is a piece of property that the city owns in South Toledo that the Mayor would like to sell. This parcel is 1.7 acres right on River Road, and the city has been offered $165,000 for it. Unfortunately, there appear to be a couple of problems with any potential sale.
 

• The parcel is considered to be a park by the local neighborhood, and is cared for by the department of parks.
• Sale for residential use would require rezoning of the property, which would in turn require the approval of city council, something that does not appear to be forthcoming.
• The city would be required to spend approximately $135,000 to bring the land up to code for residential use, leaving only a net profit of $30,000 for the sale.
• This piece of property provides the only local access to the Maumee river in the area.

Mayor, I have to tell you in the spirit of hope that the new Administration brings that I hope you will give up this idea, it simply isn't going to fly. (It didn't fly when attempted in 1999 either, by the way.)

But listen Mayor, as long as you have you broker suit on and a mind to sell riverfront property, how about The Docks. The last time that I heard, the city had an offer on the table for over $3 million from both Tom Cousino, owner of the Navy Bistro there and Main Street Ventures, who owns Legal Seafood at the other end of the property. A sale at this amount would net the city over $500,000 and retire over $2 million in city debt at a time when the city is looking at a $20 million budget shortfall. In these tougher economic times, I don't know if either of those offers remains on the table, but I think under the circumstances (and before you hang the ugly jacket back up), I would find out.

Wisdom of the Witless

It has been so cold the last couple of days that I truly believe that my brain may be frozen. Since I have been traveling a good bit the last couple of days, I have likewise done without the "wee bit o' the creature", which in the past has provided not only a thawing, but lubrication of the few brain cells still firing in the vast ocean of space between my ears. 

What I am trying to get around to the hard way is that I have not adequately prepared a suitable submission as a weekend posting (something that I promised myself that I would do). Not wanting to leave such vows unfulfilled, and being too lazy to try and muscle up and put something together, I have decided to regale you with some bits of wisdom that I have come up with over the years. Who knows, if this gets a decent reception I might try doing it again on purpose.
 

• Life consists of a series of glorious successes and monumental failures. The trick is to be able to survive both.
• I hope one day to be able to look back on a long and happy life instead of just a long one.
• I believe whole-heartedly in the concept of moderation in spite of the fact that I seem to have a great deal of difficulty with its practice.
• A well-turned phrase usually requires the prodigious use of an eraser.
• The hypocrisy that I am forced to deal with in life disgusts me, and that’s just my own. That which I endure from the rest of mankind merely disappoints me.
• I sometimes wonder if my life hasn’t turned out exactly the way that I had hoped because I didn’t forward all of those emails from friends that I was supposed to.
• There are none so blind as those who think they can see how to make our lives better.
• Radical liberalism is a disease that can never be cured; but with luck, it can be contained, and more importantly, survived.
• There was a period in my life when I was considered quite a catch. History however, has proved that I was more of a “catch and release”.
• I recognize that there will come a time in my life when I will lose interest in the company of women, and it is my hope that someone will bury me quickly thereafter before I start stinking up the place.

 
Keep warm and have a great weekend.

 

TFP Column: The Era of Big Govt Is Far From Over

 

This week's effort for the Toledo Free Press is speak to the stimulus plan presented by President Obama to cure the nation's economic ills.  It's a far cry from the chant of the last Democratic president, Bill Clinton, who told us that the era of big government was over.

Maybe not.

At any rate, I encourage you to spend a little time with "The Era of Big Government is Far from Over", while catching up with all that's going in in the Toledo Free Press.

The "Stuck On Stupid" Toledo Dictionary #15

It is time once again to add another word to our "Stuck On Stupid" Dictionary. For those of you unaware of the existence of this reference book, it is a guide to words or phrases that are nominally part of the English language, but which appear to have special meaning here in Toledo, Ohio.




Closed Bargaining:

 1. The process of negotiation between a union and its employer, held in closed and secret meeting, in order to reach a new collective bargaining agreement or contract.  
2. A process of contract negotiation which the city of Toledo is legally obliged to follow with its unions, but which the Mayor violates at his own discretion. Such violation usually resulting in bad blood, bad press, and bad contracts from the city's point of view and unfair labor practice charges from the unions involved. 

 

Casino Logic

The economy is in the worst state that it has been since The Great Depression. Unemployment is at an all time high. The government is about to go on a spending spree unparallelled in this country's history. The nation is about to triple its budget deficit as a consequence of all of the above listed statements. What can possibly be the answer to this perfect storm of economic doom and gloom?
 

Let's build some casinos!

Fresh off turning down a state Constitutional Amendment in the recent election to permit the building of a single casino and resort complex in Ohio, a new group has stepped forward to put forth a proposal for not one, but perhaps as many as eleven new casinos in the state. Penn National Gaming (which owns 19 gambling facilities in the US and Canada, including Raceway Park in Toledo), and it's partners have been holding talks with the the governor and state legislature about putting casinos in seven racetracks in the state, as well as building four new stand alone casinos.

Don't get me wrong here, I have no objection to casino gambling in Ohio and have spoken out in favor of it in the past. I simply question the logic of building gambling establishments at a time when disposable income in this country is at almost all-time low. Many restaurants are cutting back staff or closing all together because no one has the money to eat out, and the same is happening with bars. 

The auto industry is failing because nobody has the money to buy a car. Housing sales are down in spite of the lowest mortgage rates in my lifetime. Yet in spite of all of this economic doom and gloom, someone believes that we will take the last two nickels that we have left to rub together and put them in a slot machine.

I can't wait to see how the moralists and do-gooders demonize these guys. Children going hungry as the adults gamble the grocery money away. Houses going into foreclosure as their owners sit mesmerized in front of a one-armed bandit. Bankruptcy filed by irresponsible people with too little money and too easy an access to the evils of gambling. Don't look for me to speak out this time though.* 

I plan to sit idly on the sidelines this time and watch the fun. This promises to be almost as entertaining, and a good deal less expensive, than a night of Texas Hold'em.

* All promises not to speak out on a given subject are subject to change at any time, as I often have difficulty remaining silent on anything. (ask anybody who knows me...)

 

Obama Economic Plan - The Devil Is In The Details

As with most government plans, the devil is in the details. There appears to be no exception to the economic plan as modified in the president-elect's weekly radio address and supporting economic report given yesterday, and reported in today's Toledo Blade. This article, titled "Obama boosts job creation estimate", outlines that speech and report. Two things have struck me when going through this proposal. 

First, the numbers just keep going up, on both the amount of money required and the number of jobs that will be saved or created. We started out with a program at a little over $300,000,000,000. (Yes, it does look scarier when you print out all of those zeroes, doesn't it?) The program outlined in yesterday's address now stands at more than $775,000,000,000. Likewise the number of jobs that will be created or saved is up from the original 2-2.5 million to an estimate yesterday of over 5 million. 

Forgive me if this isn't starting to sound like an old John Lovitz routine from Saturday night live. I can just hear him saying: "I saved two, no it was three, three million jobs. No wait it was four million, no five, five million jobs I saved with my plan." ... and all of this before the president-elect even takes office. I know that there is an expectation of stretching the truth from all politicians, and I know that plans change as more information comes to light; but this taffy pull seems to be getting out of hand. 

Second and more importantly, the president-elect said in this most recent address that of this 5 million jobs, nearly 90 percent will be in the private sector. For those of you who didn't take as many math classes as I did, that means that over 10 percent of the jobs will be government jobs. 

Now adding to your respect for my mathematical abilities, I will further calculate that even 10 percent of 5 million jobs would mean 500,000 new government jobs. This is half a million government salaries, benefit packages, and pension contributions. For those of you who eyes are now widely staring at this page yes, that means that the taxpayers will have to pick up a pretty hefty check for this increase in bureaucracy at a time when our wallets are getting a little lighter already. 

I know that the incoming president has talked about the necessity for budget deficits to jump start the economy, but shouldn't be we looking closely at the burden we push onto our children and theirs. I know that the country needs more jobs. I merely question whether we need any more in a government containing an already bloated bureaucracy. 

The president-elect and I do agree on one other thing in the report released by his economic team in support of this plan as well: "There is a limit on how much government investment can be carried out efficiently in a short time frame." On this snowy Sunday morning I can only add, "Amen, Mr. Obama, amen." 

Where To Blow Smoke

Far too often in this politically correct world, the humble cigar smoker will find themselves in a world that does not allow them the enjoyment of the awful little habit that the past once allowed. 


I am am both pleased and grateful to announce to you that such is always not the case. Regardless of what the smoke Nazis would like you to believe, there are yet places in the world, in Ohio (and even in Toledo) where a proper cigar can be purchased and smoked, and a proper cocktail can be enjoyed while doing so. 

La Casa de la Habana, a Toledo purveyor of fine cigars on Monroe street just east of Tallmadge, continues to offer the true cigar smoking experience, combining an exceptional humidor with a wonderful selection of single malt scotches to create a truly memorable experience. 

Equally memorable, is the relaxed atmosphere of the lounge and stellar service provided by Danielle, the mixologist working her subtle magic behind the bar. The bar and her talents are not limited to the pouring of Scotland's finest exports however, and I am reliably told that she serves one of the best Margaritas in the city. Two separate lounge areas provide ample room, seating, and ventilation for the proper enjoyment of the tobacconist's art, and there are usually a few congenial fellow smokers to pass the time with.  

While not normally using "Just Blowing Smoke" to endorse businesses (as I haven't found a way to make any money doing so), I would be doing a disservice to fellow local cigar smokers if I attempted to keep this a establishment a secret simply for my own use and enjoyment. Take advantage of one of the few guilty pleasures left in life, and feel free in fact, to tell them that I sent you their way (don't worry, they won't hold that against you). Who knows, it's even possible that one of these days you could run into a stogie-smoking curmudgeon during your visit and blow a bit of smoke together.  

Enjoy ... 

TFP Column: Wants and Needs

Once again, Michael Miller and the Toledo Free Press have taken life and professional reputation in hand by printing my most recent column, "Wants and Needs". It might be something to think about with the continuing downturn of the economy.  

I also highly recommend the column by Tom Pounds, publisher of the Toledo Free Press, "The Good Fight" for some additional insight on the economy in general and the newspaper industry in particular, as well as an interesting piece by the aforementioned Michael Miller on how he will be losing the rest of his free time on Facebook (as opposed to the time I waste writing this blog). 

For those of us locally, there are also some interesting stories on the first round in the coming battle between the city with its mounting budget woes and the union contracts that it must negotiate. Given the Mayor's negotiation style, this process promises to be an updated version of "The Bickersons".  

Given that Toledo is due for somewhere between 2 and 10 inches of snow accumulation, staying inside where its warm, and reading something interesting may be the best plan that you could have.  

Update:

 For those of you who have been looking at the comments and wondering about them, yes it's true that Glenn Beck read my column on his syndicated radio show this morning. I was not contacted ahead of time and was as shocked as anyone to hear it as it happened. As a regular listener to his program however, I was extremely flattered (and humbled) to have him grant my work any value.

 

Fractured Fairy Tales - The Little Dutch Boy Of Toledo

Hello boys and girls, and welcome once again to "Fractured Fairy Tales". These slightly twisted fables of an imaginary land known as Toodledeedoo (pronounced Toodle-dee-doo) have amused and fascinated so many over time. OK, they have slightly amused some once in a while. Alright, they bring a smile to my face from time to time as I am writing them. At any rate, it's time for another one, so let's waste any more precious time and get right to it.


Once upon a time in the mythical land of Toodledeedoo there lived a little boy named Carty (OK, he was actually a man, but trust me when I tell you that he was really immature). Now it seems as though this man was walking through town one day when he noticed the city's dike. Now the dike (which for some strange reason was called Budget) was important to the town, as it provided the protection for Toodledeedoo, and made the town a livable place where people and businesses could flourish. (Hey no snickering here, I said it was a Fairy Tale.)


Now Carty worked for the city, and one of his jobs was to make sure that the dike (Budget) was OK. You could say in fact, that one of his jobs was to make sure that the Budget was doing its job (and I just did). Carty wasn't very good at this job however, and seemed to go out his way to perform this service poorly. 


The Budget tried to protect the city, and Carty would poke a hole in it to water some flowers, flowering shrubs, and things that say welcome. Someone would come along and patch that hole and Carty would poke another one in, this time to help the Erie Street Market grow (it didn't). The Budget would get patch for that hole, and Carty would poke another one in to keep COSI alive until somebody could figure out what to do with it. Another patch would be provided, but soon another hole would get poked, this time to help win a contest that no one had ever heard of or cared if we won. Patched once again, the Budget continued to try to hold back the waters, but Carty poked yet another hole in it, this time try and bring back a shopping mall that had died. (It stayed dead.)

It seemed that no matter how many times someone came along to patch the Budget for Toodledeedoo, it's keeper Carty would poke yet another hole in it. In all fairness to Carty, he sometimes tried to fix the holes in the Budget himself, usually by stuffing them with things like furloughs that he wasn't supposed to use; but being Carty his fixes only created bigger holes that required even more fixing. Sometimes some of the other things that he did (like getting himself and the city sued for doing other parts of his job) made holes in the Budget all by themselves, and once again repair was required. 


Finally, it seemed that Carty's efforts had all but destroyed the Budget and only massive sacrifices on the part of the citizens would allow the Budget, and Toodledeedoo to survive. Looking to their future, it was obvious to even the most dense of its citizens that even greater sacrifice would be required to keep this Budget functioning ... or they were going to have to find a different protector of the Budget. 


Now this might seem unlikely, as on previous occasions these same citizens had given Carty back his job every time that he asked, and all previous efforts to remove him from this job had proven unsuccessful in spite of his poor job performance. But so egregious were his poor performance and so great was the damage done however, that this time our ne'er do well keeper of the Budget might indeed have to look for another job.


Like many of the Fairy Tales about Toodledeedoo, this story doesn't have an end yet. There appears however, to be enough anger out there in the citizens of this fair city that change may finally be in the wind. A group of citizens called "Take Back Toledo" has begun to get organized. It appears that this time the torches are being lit and pitchforks have been sharpened. I haven't seen any tar and feathers yet, but I'm sure that they can't be far behind. I suspect that the end, at least for Carty, and a new beginning for Toodledeedoo is closer than ever before.

Consistent Inconsistency

I have chosen not to pick on the local daily newspaper in Toledo for some time. This is not because of any pity that I feel for an industry that is suffering significant revenue losses recently or the Blade in particular because I know that they are working under difficult working conditions with recent layoffs and therefore are more than a little short-handed. 

While I do feel for the industry in general and the Blade in particular, my reasons are probably more personal and more selfish. Even such pity must end however, when the Blade shows such blatant inconsistency and consistency in its editorials. Today (1/4/08) is a classic example, with two editorials on the same day pointing the way. In the first "That sinking feeling", the Blade blames the current state of the economy on the Bush Administration, blaming the pitiable state of the economy on the Iraq war, lax oversight of financial institutions, and tax cuts. 

In the second, a guest editorial entitled "Hunting the budget snipe" from the Washington Post that it does not provide a link to on its website, then points out that the incoming Obama Administration can only fix the current budget by seeking out waste, cutting pork, and most importantly putting the brakes on entitlement programs (all no doubt also the fault of the Bush Administration). Now I know that the second editorial was not written by the Blade, but it was published by the same editors; and those of us unwashed, uneducated, and unsophisticated readers out here would like a bit of clarity. Is the economy the fault of:

• The Iraq War which the current administration must take full responsibility for?
• The oversight of the financial institutions, which the current administration warned us about years ago?
• Tax cuts encouraged by the Bush Administration which in previous economies (under either party) have done nothing but increase government revenue?
• Waste in the budget?
• Pork in the budget?
• Or entitlement programs whose budget increases have far exceeded the cost of living or inflation-adjusted budget numbers?

The inconsistency is obvious here. The problem in the economy has two vastly different causes, the Iraqi War and bad domestic policies. The Blade editorial makes no mention of the entitlement programs, pork, or waste. The Post editorial makes no mention of the War. Either both missed things which were rather significant to the other, or neither chose to look at the whole picture before going to print. 

There is one consistency however. No matter what the problem is, it is George Bush's fault. Never mind that Congress signed on (fairly enthusiastically at the time) to the War in Iraq. Never mind that oversight of the banking industry was the responsibility of Congress. Never mind that the pork and waste placed in the budget were done so by members of Congress. Never mind that the dramatic increases in entitlement programs were introduced and passed by Congress. Never mind that any tax cuts currently in place were introduced and passed by Congress. George Bush is at fault. 

Don't get me wrong, Mr. Bush does not get a free pass here. Quite the contrary. He must in fact plead guilty to abandoning Conservative principles where the budget was concerned, and in fact has seemed to encourage the horrendous increases in government spending that were once an anathema to his party. He must also plead guilty to sending troops to Iraq, and while I will not debate the merits of that choice in this post, the cost of doing so must rest to a large extent with him. 

The point here however, is that when the Blade wants to know why its readership has and is deserting it (though I still keep my subscription), it might want to look at the inconsistency of what it says and the far too apparent agenda that it consistently puts forward. Even those of us who do not travel in the rarefied circles that the Blade appears to be pandering to are getting fed up with the insult to our intelligence that both illustrate.