Saturday, January 17, 2009

Wisdom of the Witless

It has been so cold the last couple of days that I truly believe that my brain may be frozen. Since I have been traveling a good bit the last couple of days, I have likewise done without the "wee bit o' the creature", which in the past has provided not only a thawing, but lubrication of the few brain cells still firing in the vast ocean of space between my ears. 

What I am trying to get around to the hard way is that I have not adequately prepared a suitable submission as a weekend posting (something that I promised myself that I would do). Not wanting to leave such vows unfulfilled, and being too lazy to try and muscle up and put something together, I have decided to regale you with some bits of wisdom that I have come up with over the years. Who knows, if this gets a decent reception I might try doing it again on purpose.
 
  • Life consists of a series of glorious successes and monumental failures. The trick is to be able to survive both.
  • I hope one day to be able to look back on a long and happy life instead of just a long one.
  • I believe whole-heartedly in the concept of moderation in spite of the fact that I seem to have a great deal of difficulty with its practice.
  • A well-turned phrase usually requires the prodigious use of an eraser.
  • The hypocrisy that I am forced to deal with in life disgusts me, and that’s just my own. That which I endure from the rest of mankind merely disappoints me.
  • I sometimes wonder if my life hasn’t turned out exactly the way that I had hoped because I didn’t forward all of those emails from friends that I was supposed to.
  • There are none so blind as those who think they can see how to make our lives better.
  • Radical liberalism is a disease that can never be cured; but with luck, it can be contained, and more importantly, survived.
  • There was a period in my life when I was considered quite a catch. History however, has proved that I was more of a “catch and release”.
  • I recognize that there will come a time in my life when I will lose interest in the company of women, and it is my hope that someone will bury me quickly thereafter before I start stinking up the place.
 
Keep warm and have a great weekend.

 

6 comments:

Roland Hansen said...

Witticisms for us mindless creatures, big and small, cause for some serious brain exercises.

p.s. I'll try to keep warm.

Roland Hansen said...

Witless, mindless, gutless R ME!!

Timothy W Higgins said...

Roland,

"p.s. I'll try and to keep warm"

Hasn't anyone ever told you that it's not nice to upstage the humor of the poster when that person knows you are in Arizona, land of sunshine and deserts (and spring training for the Cubs)?

Roland Hansen said...

Well, Tim, you are correct that I am in Arizona at this time. However, not all of Arizona is warm this time of year. There is a whole bunch of cold and a whole lot of snow up there in Flagstaff.

Although, I guess I should downplay and not upstage, the fact that I, on the other hand, am in the Valley of the sun where at noon today it had reached 75 degrees with tons of Vitamin D sunshine.

Please forget, I ever mentioned it. By the way, I really like cherry flavored snow cones.

p.s. The Devil made me say it!

Timothy W Higgins said...

Roland,

Since I am in the process of traveling between the relative warmth of GA to chill of beautiful Toledo, I ask that you please remember that torture is forbidden by the rules of the Geneva Convention.

Roland Hansen said...

ROFLMAO.

Sure beats waterboarding, though!