A Writer

Like most, I was subject to grand aspirations in my youth. Hockey player, astronaut, scientist, actor, and teacher were all on my list at one time in my life. I even thought that I had a calling to be a Catholic priest until the implications of a life of chastity managed to penetrate the raging hormones controlling my body at the time. 

One thing that remained constant through all of those periods however was my desire to be a writer. Writers were cool guys who smoked pipes and wore tweed jackets and spoke intelligently and eloquently on a wide ranging number of subjects. Writers lived in exciting places, knew interesting people, and collected neat stuff (like Clive Cussler's car collection). Writer's worked long hours, but didn't have to go into the office and usually didn't have bosses. 

To seek that particular goal, I did what you were supposed to do and wrote. Bad poetry, pointless essays, and nonsensical short stories, I wrote them all. I even fancied myself a lyricist, and attempt to become the Bernie Taupin of my time. (Bernie Taupin, for those of you who don't know, wrote many of the lyrics for Elton John's most famous songs.) 

Fortunately for the reading public, none of those efforts were ever brought to light. As I grew older and gained the responsibilities of family and job, these aspirations were set aside in the interest of doing what was necessary to provide for my family and advance my career (such as it was). In those days the only thing that got written were business proposals and the endless reports that make so many jobs all but unbearable. Writing then was a burden, and projects were taken on with the same sense of dread that a visit to the dentist usually engenders. 

Eventually however, I reached a point where I was writing technical manuals when called for. Later I began to write some of the advertising copy for the companies that I worked for and I found myself bitten by the writing bug again. When personal circumstances provided me with far more free time than I wanted, I found myself filling that void with writing, even managing to produce of work of novel length if not publishing quality. 

Change continued, and while most of that free time thankfully disappeared, the writing continued, with this blog fulfilling my need to write things that I felt were worth sharing. I would love to tell you that all of these efforts were brilliant, but they weren't. Some of them at least reached the level of clever however, and I believe that the gaps between those clever efforts is not as great as they once were.  

The reason that I bring all of this up this weekend is that I just submitted my first invoice for the columns that I have been writing for the Toledo Free Press. In addition to being willing to print what I write, the TFP has likewise agreed to pay me for my efforts. It's not a lot of money, but then again, I'm not that much of a writer. 

So while I didn't manage to become an astronaut, a teacher, or a priest (something for which I feel my children and grandchildren might be grateful for), while I don't smoke a pipe (at least not when a cigar is close at hand), and I don't live in an exciting place (though it is occasionally interesting), I believe that I have crossed a threshold. For when they pay you for it, you are indeed a writer.

The New, New Deal

I was listening to the president elect outline the beginnings of his economic plan. This plan, for those of you who haven't been paying attention, proposes to create (or save) 2.5 million jobs by building roads, bridges, and schools; while also focusing on alternative energy and more efficient cars.  Now a couple of things seemed kind of funny about this to me, so being the kind of person that I am, I had to sit back to think about it.

My first concern was pretty obvious, and it was because of all the comparisons that the media made to this economic plan and FDR’s New Deal. For those of you who don’t spend far too much time reading history books (or watching the History Channel), the New Deal was a series of programs instituted by President Franklin Delano Roosevelt between 1933 and 1936 in an attempt to turn around the country during The Great Depression which began with the stock market crash of 1929. FDR’s programs provided jobs for many people who needed them at the time by massive infrastructure projects like building dams, roads, and bridges. 

Of course this New Deal also created the foundation of the welfare state, strengthened the union’s position in collective bargaining, and created Social Security (but that’s a topic for another day and posting). While these programs did provide jobs for many out of work Americans, they did not however end the Great Depression. Many historians in fact believe that these programs in fact delayed the recovery of the American economy through its interference; and that the Depression only ended when the country entered World War II and went into a wartime economy. 

The second part of this second New Deal is that the infrastructure jobs being proposed seem to me to be predominantly union jobs. Road and bridge repairs are usually done by unionized workers at each state’s respective Department of Transportation. School’s are usually built under government bids, which in non-right to work states like Ohio means that they must pay “prevailing wage” (union scale) and in some cases, must be performed by union workers. The money proposed for creation of fuel-efficient vehicles will undoubtedly go to the Big Three, and not overseas manufacturers like Toyota, Nissan, and KIA (who already make such vehicles). 

As a consequence, this money will make its way down to union auto workers. Quite frankly, the only part of this package that doesn’t seem to make its way directly into the hands of union employees is that being directed to alternative energy. I’m not an expert on the subject of alternative energy companies (or anything else for that matter), but based on the other programs I am forced to conclude that I have simply not figured out the union connection to this part of the program and not that there is none. 

I would like to see the president-elect and his economic team come up with some bold new economic initiatives. I would like to see this new administration successful in stimulating the economy, and ending the recent downward spiral. I would also like to see something come from government other than handing out taxpayer dollars in programs designed to benefit only a select type of worker (and I think you know what I mean). I would like our president-elect to show us some real change instead of trotting out tired "old" ideas that didn't work when tried under similar circumstances before I was even born. 

 

The New Political Diet

While recently reading the post of fellow blogger Maggie Thurber on this year's Food Stamp Challenge, I decided to throw up one of my usual semi-pointless and cheesy comments. Then I realized that there might actually have something in what I was saying. 

You see politicians love the kind of challenges that allow them to hold press conferences (almost as much as they like the press conferences themselves). With the election over and no one due to take office for a month or so, there is little reason for such events, and nothing for them to say in front of microphones and reporters. 

This situation is probably unacceptable to our representatives in government, so I would like to inject an opportunity for them to once again seek a little public attention by accepting the challenge that I propose: It is that each politician agree to discuss a given subject of their choice (or all of them if they're really a glutton for punishment) for a week without the sentimentality that normally dominates their remarks during public appearances. No compassion, no tugging at the heartstrings of the voters, no appealing to our "better angels"; just (as they used to say on "Dragnet") "the facts, ma'am". 

I wonder if they could do it? I wonder if they would bother to do the work and research required to speak intelligently on nothing but facts without falling back on spin, trite phrases, and emotional appeals? I wonder if any could or would stand in front of reporters and speak from the head and not the heart.

It would certainly be refreshing, wouldn't it? It would in fact be the equivalent of the Atkins diet of politics. Nothing but the protein of facts, without the double helping of emotional carbohydrates and fat. A true performance of the Aristotelian method of discussion based on empirical evidence, common sense, with arguments laid out in simple symbolic logic.  

Perhaps, in light of the fluff and nonsense that we were handed leading up to the election, we are actually owed a bit of this. Perhaps just once in our lives, we could be trusted with common sense instead of compassion, the facts instead of the truth. Perhaps beyond hope and change, there is fact and reason that may yet reveal itself.  

So as we all attempt to recover from our over indulgences during Thanksgiving dinner, still parked in a recliner watching football games as we pound down a double helping of left over stuffing, I ask you to consider such a parallel universe. As we attempt to choke down yet another turkey sandwich we don't need while nodding off during a TiVo replay of the Macy's Thanksgiving parade (which they've ruined completely by the way, but that's for another day), I ask that you let such thoughts bring a smile to the place between those now chubby cheeks. As we lay down to sleep, with that last slice of pumpkin pie as our final conscious thought of the day, I ask you to use your imagination in dreaming about such a world.  

I suspect that most of our current crop politicians would starve on such a diet, even if we could get them to take such a pledge (OK probably not, but we could hope anyway). Doing so however, might at least provide the opportunity to reduce some part of the dead weight that we currently put up with in politics.

 

TFP Column - How the Government Stole Christmas

For those of you not lucky enough to live in the Toledo are (yeah, right) and therefore unlucky enough not to receive the Toledo Free Press, I thought that I would further reduce your lottery winning chances by posting this link to my column in this esteemed publication. I hope you enjoy it.

There are as always, many interesting things in the TFP this week; though Michael Miller's interview with Scott Adams, the creator of one of my favorite comics "Dilbert" was certainly an unexpected jewel for me this week.

TFP Column - The Big Three Bailout

While the Toledo Free Press Website is back up and functioning, my column from last week no longer appears in the online edition (maybe they are getting wiser about the burden that they are willing to place on their readership). At any rate, I have had numerous requests (OK, a couple from family members) to permit those of you outside of the circulation area of the TFP to see one of my more venomous rants. I hope that it gets you as stirred up as I am about this.  

Following a series of disturbing clues, I was finally able to decipher the secret message in the “DiVinci Code” from the latest puzzle of the current bailout program(s). It came as Congress, currently in lame duck session (a strangely appropriate term considering), and in the midst of its seemingly non-stop effort to throw good money after bad, was trying to decide whether they should funnel additional bailout money into the auto industry. Surprisingly enough, they couldn’t. 

Make no mistake; the auto industry is going through tough times. Consumer cash and the credit to finance major purchases is in short supply and the brief but abrupt rise in gasoline prices has forced consumers to reconsider their purchasing decisions. Not surprisingly as a consequence, sales of cars are down. 

These bleak financial conditions are further exacerbated for automakers GM, Ford, and Chrysler because of their poor decision to manufacture big cars, SUV's, and big pickup trucks; vehicles which fit neither the current consumer’s fuel efficiency requirements, nor their depleted budgets, but do have a higher profit margin for manufacturers. 

Do not fear for our intrepid US auto manufacturers however, as the Federal government had already decided to make $25 billion available to the US auto industry to retool itself in order to meet the CAFÉ standards (Corporate Average Fuel Economy) that these car makers claim is one of their biggest problem. Not content with this piddling amount however, they came to beg for another $25 billion (and probably more later); saying without it that they might not survive, and that 2.6 million jobs may disappear. (Can you say doomsday threat?) 

This additional money is not for additional retooling however, to build manufacturing plants utilizing the latest in labor-saving technology (something mostly forbidden to them in the US by current labor contracts), or even to provide them with capital for the massive change to their business plans that's undoubtedly required for their survival. Amazingly, the bulk of this money appears to be needed to cover the pension and medical funds of union workers, current and retired. After much debate and negotiation however, the vote on their bailout has been delayed this week to provide the automakers time and opportunity to provide something that looks like a business plan. 

Their plight will then be taken up after Thanksgiving in Senate committee review, and relief undoubtedly provided in some form using part of the original $25 billion in special session. They will then get to make their case for even more cash with the new Congress next year. Let’s be clear however, about the fact that this bailout has little to do with the continued operation of these US automakers (as opposed to all of the other automakers in the world currently operating manufacturing plants in the US and employing non-union US workers in those plants). 

This bailout is little more than a quid pro quo by a bunch of politicians attempting to prop up the unsupportable pension and medical plan of unions who have supported them through yet another election cycle. Worse, it’s a poorly hidden attempt to tell taxpayers that they should willingly hand over this cash knowing that it will undoubtedly raise taxes, increasing the odds that they will have to look forward to retiring on little more than the pittance provided by what is an all but bankrupt Social Security System and hope to survive on whatever level of medical care is capable of being doled out by a Medicare / Medicaid Program already strained past the breaking point. 

They should do this so that union auto workers can sleep safer at night, knowing that they will have bullied the elected representatives of those taxpayers into supporting what for them will be a much more comfortable level of retirement and better grade of medical care (you know, like Congress gets), negotiated at almost the point of a gun with their former employers and now ultimately funded at the expense of their fellow citizens. Based on this new found revelation, the secret message of the puzzle is obvious for all but the most gullible to decipher. It reads that "The Big Three really means: U A W”. 

 

Happy Thanksgiving

I will once again be celebrating Thanksgiving this year in Kansas City again. Doing this brings mixed feelings this year, as the joy of being with family is tinged with some sadness, revisiting a rather sad anniversary for the Higgins clan. You see, it was right before Thanksgiving last year that my father passed away. That single event will forever change that nature of this holiday for me, but does not in any way take away the point of the day, or the concept and need of giving thanks in my life. You see:

• I am thankful that I was able to get back to speak with him one last time before the end.
• I am thankful for the inspiration that he provided to me on both a personal and professional level.
• I am thankful for all of the things that both he and my mother taught me about the truly important things in life.
• I am thankful that I will able to get back to KC and be with my mother, sisters (and their families), and one of my sons for this year's holiday.
• I am thankful for the health and prosperity of my family and friends this year.
• I am thankful for the opportunities that have opened up for me in the last year.

There are of course, a few things of a less serious nature that I am likewise thankful for:

• I am thankful that the election is over and that my future expenses in duct tape will be reduced (at least until January).
• I am thankful that I live in a country capable of surviving the choices that it makes each Election day.
• I am thankful that the newspaper industry has survived yet another year (though not by much).
• I am thankful that Michael Miller has not recovered his senses and continues to print the columns that I write.
• I am thankful that one of my sister Maureen will be responsible for cooking Thanksgiving dinner. (While I am capable of doing so, I am also honest enough to admit to being lazy and dodge the responsibility.)

I am also thankful for all of you out there reading this blog. It has become rather an obsession for me over time, and has contributed to some of the opportunities that I spoke about. Without the support, help, and feedback from many of you, there is no telling how far down the path of degradation it and I would have otherwise gone.
 

Happy Thanksgiving

Christmas Is Coming

Well Halloween is over and the election behind us. So here in November, before we even get a chance to sit down and enjoy our Thanksgiving turkey, we can turn our thoughts to ... Christmas.  Yes, even though it's weeks away, we must now all turn our attention to consumerism and profligate spending in the hopes of giving every national department store chain a profitable fourth quarter. 

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Department stores or profit, and I certainly don't have anything against Christmas; but I just got done being bombarded with political commercials leading up to the election and I would have preferred a short break before having it replaced by endless advertising for the latest big toy(s). 

As for some of the other commercials, don't even get me started. I have had up to here with the ham-handed bludgeoning that masquerades as marketing campaigns in commercials trying to convince me that my loved ones will only be satisfied on Christmas by jewelry with large diamonds, a big screen TV, or a new car. (Of course if someone wants to leave that 42" flat panel under the tree for me, that's OK.)  

My few consolations in the coming weeks will be presentations of "A Charlie Brown Christmas", "Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer" (I just love that elf dentist), and "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", along with a few of the great old black and white movies like "Holiday Inn", "A Christmas Carol" (almost every version), "It's a Wonderful Life", and " White Christmas". In between, I will overdose myself with with egg nog and cookies, and frequent repititions of all of the Mannheim Steamroller offerings and the James Taylor Christmas albums (I also have the soundtrack for Charlie Brown Christmas, but that's for special occasions) in the hopes of working up the proper state of mind. I likewise hope to find not just consolation, but indeed real joy in being able to visit with both children and grandchildren through the holiday season, though schedules these days are often more complex than any of us would like. 

For it is only through the eyes of children (and especially grandchildren) that we truly understand the magic of Christmas. It is in their perfect happiness and wonder on Christmas morning that we get past the embarrassment of the Christmas party miscues, the insanity of Christmas shopping, and the anxiety that we feel over the added calories from a Christmas dinner or the candy that we pilfer from stockings.

 But before I can begin to fully get myself in the spirit of the Holiday however, I must take a deep breath. Before I can take my place once again as the jolly old guy with a beard and a weight problem, I must find some serenity. Before I begin to obsess over my shopping list and have to brace myself for a trip or two to shopping malls that qualifies as torture under the rules of the Geneva convention, I must find a little piece of mind. While I do that, let me take just a moment to wish all of you some of the same. I have a feeling that we'll all need it.

TFP Column: Big 3 Bailout

Update:

The TFP website was down earlier in the day and is evidently slowly rebuilding, so the column is not currently available. I will update this again when all things are back up and running. (Geez, I hope it wasn't my stuff that broke it.)

Once again, the Toledo Free Press has will be sharing with an unsuspecting public, information that I feel is also worth sharing with you here on Just Blowing Smoke. This week's column, on the Big 3 Bailout may prove of interest to you.

As always, while at the TFP website make sure to check out everything in the online edition and become fully informed and enlightened on the week's events in Toledo and Northwest Ohio.

My Bailout Plan

With the increasing pressure to add GM, Ford, and Chrysler to the list of companies that need to be bailed out, I began to ask myself: "Who should be bailed out?" Now not being an expert in economics or government, I decided to look for alternate reasons for who should be bailed out and why. In the end, I realized that like government, I should use arbitrary and irresponsible guidelines for such critical path thinking.

Here therefore are my list of companies that should receive multi-billion government bailouts, based on nothing but their importance to me personally. (Please note that I am not saying that any of these companies actually need bailing out, but when have I ever let logic like that ever get in the way of my decision making processes?):

Google - For no other reason than that they provide me the platform (Blogspot) to spew this nonsense upon an unsuspecting public. Blizzard Entertainment - The creators of World of Warcraft (one of my other sources of non-productive entertainment) to insure that this source of significant wasted hours in my life remains available to me.

Dell - The choice of manufacturer is arbitrary; but without some form of computer, it would be impossible to use either of the above.

Cigar Manufacturers / Retailers - For without out them, how would I blow smoke?

California Wine Growers / Wineries - Hey, you need something to sip while smoking a cigar and playing WOW or writing a blog posting.

Coca Cola & Pepsi Cola - Man does not live by wine alone.

AM Radio Stations - For I am well and truly addicted to talk radio.

Yum! Brands Inc. - You probably don't recognize this company, but they own the franchises for Taco Bell, KFC, A&W, Pizza Hut, and Long John Silvers. That should keep me in fast food even if McDonalds falls.

Kroeger - OK, I will concede that I probably need a grocery store around to buy food not found at the fast food places listed above (you know, like snacks and the previously mentioned Soda and Wine).

This list is by no means complete, and I am sure that others will come to mind over time. There may also be worthy and valuable inclusions from readers out there that I have simply overlooked, so please feel free to suggest.

Please note that while being completely self-serving in my list, I do not mention my employer in this list. While I am relatively sure they would accept the money if offered, I will not mention for them out of a fear of losing the checks that keep me bailed out from week-to-week.

TFP Column: COSI II - The Wrath of Con

Update:

I was incorrect in my earlier posting on my submissions to the latest edition of the Toledo Free Press, when stating that I would have a column in this week's edition. In fact I have two pieces in this week. I spoke to Michael Miller about the dangers that such a large dose of my particular brand of nonsense might have, and I was assured that my previous submissions had already probably immunized TFP readers to any potential contamination. (Besides, what would make me think that anyone was actually reading anything that I had written anyway.)

The first of these columns is on a continuing subject of interest to me - COSI, is posted in the exclusively online version of the TFP. If not informative, you may find it at least amusing. The second has to do with my review of the Election of 2008, and what it's results means to me. This particular bit of wisdom will be available in only the print edition this publication.

If you visit the TFP website to read one or both of these offerings, I again remind you to avail yourself of the additional wisdom contained there again this week, as there are much smarter people than me who have worked very hard in attempting to keep you informed about Toledo and Northwest Ohio.