Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The "Stuck on Stupid" Dictionary #19

Yes here we are once again, adding yet more words to the lexicon of local terms more commonly known here in Toledo as the Stuck on Stupid Dictionary. Now for those of you who have somehow managed to miss previous postings in this area (shame on you, now go back and read all of the postings under the title of dictionary), the SOS dictionary is a reference guide to terms which nominally mean something to the rest of the English speaking world, but appear to mean something entirely different to us in Toledo and Northwest Ohio.  

Administrative Staff Reduction:

1. A rather exotic form of "three card monty" in which our mayor claims to be reducing the size of his staff, not by actually sending city adminstrative staff members home without further pay or employment; but instead by shuffling them to positions covered under parts of the city budget not directly relating to the General Fund, and therefore allowing him to claim a budget savings. (see Three Card Monty)

Three Card Monty:

1. A card game played on street corners where the bettor (sap) attempts to find a single previously identified card out of three, as card sharp masterfully manipulates the placement of this trio of paper placards. (The bettor rarely wins except when the card sharp allows them to in order to set them up for larger losses.)
2. A personnel game played by city governments where the taxpayer attempts to understand which fund their fees and taxes are going to and being taken from to pay city staff, as a master manipulator (or massive blowhard) shuffles both the cash and the people from one place to another. (The taxpayer never wins, because no matter where the cash or the people go, the taxpayer never pays less or gets anything in return.)


Winky Twinky said...

What a wonderfully creative way to get it said!!

Tim Higgins said...


Thank you maam, but I don't have to exercise nearly as much creativity as the government does to perpetrate this idiocracy.

I just writes 'em down.

Hooda Thunkit said...


Or perhaps he's merely assigning them to working for the departments who have been paying them all along.

(Only a forensic accountant can tell for sure; and then only if he or she has access to all of the sets of books...)