"Imagination Station" Is Almost Here

For those of you who haven't been paying attention (which is probably most of you), the former Toledo COSI (Center Of Science and Industry) is about to reopen its doors as "Imagination Station" on October 10th. I can hardly contain my excitement! Who wouldn't be excited though with a venue, now funded in large part by taxpayer dollars, that has:

• Taken its name from similar facilities in Wilson, NC and Lafayette, IN; after dropping the COSI name that Columbus would no longer allow it to use
• Is still in the same ill-suited building downtown
• Has still not presented its business plan publicly in spite of its acceptance of taxpayer funding (where are all of you YMCA people on this, by the way?)
• Has not decreased it's $8.50 entrance fee, in spite of the taxpayer largess
• While it has promised many new exhibits, has not actually said whether they are in place and if so, what they are

Now I know that we are all supposed to be set aside the harsh realities of life for the children, that science is an important part of a child's education where such an institution might help, and that we should probably be grateful that anyone is doing anything in downtown Toledo other than pulling out. I am afraid however, that the folks at Imagination Station have done nothing yet in my mind to prove to me that they are worthy of such enthusiasm, or of the public trust that they have been given for that matter. 

I am willing to give Imagination Station a small chance to prove itself worthy of the money now being lavished on it by Toledo taxpayers, but only a small chance. If the history of those running this facility is to be used as any indication, I suspect that they will deserve little else. It is my fear however, that it won't be long before we hear that they are going to need additional funding in this tough economy, that the exhibits will not be able to be refreshed as often as earlier committed to, and that many of their other grand plans will simply not be able to be realized. 

Perhaps then they can reorganize yet again, come to all of us cup in hand, and perpetrate yet another failed business plan on Toledo's citizens. Hey, then we could rename it: "Reincarnation Imagination Station", the museum that just won't die. 
 

Wrong On The COSI Bailout?

I seem to have been wrong in my assessment of Issue 37, the levy to reopen COSI, in the column that I wrote for Toledo Free Press three weeks ago; as evidenced by the number of people speaking out in favor of it this week in that same venue. It now appears to be obvious to me that the only thing that was keeping COSI from being a success in Toledo was a lack of sufficient taxpayer funding. After all, we have so many shining examples of success when greater taxpayer support is provided to a previously failing program:

- Lyndon Johnson's War on Poverty

- Richard Nixon's War on Drugs

- The Educational System over the last 50 years

- The bailout of the mortgage and banking system

- and here locally, the Erie Street Market

The success of these programs over the years is self-evident ... no wait, actually they weren't (or aren't) entirely successful. OK, but obviously the reason that these endeavors failed in their mission is not that they were failed plans to begin with, wasted the taxpayer money that they were granted, and had no real measure for success other than emotional ones. Neither can their failure be blamed upon the increasing level of funding that they received through the years. No, it must have been a lack of understanding of their mission on the part of the taxpayers. Programs like this cannot be measured on an objective level of success and failure after all, but should instead be judged by high-minded goal that they set or the gratification that we taxpayers feel for the compassion that we show.

So by all means, let's vote for Issue 37 and grant COSI some taxpayer money in the "hope for change" where they are concerned (after all, this is the year for it). If nothing else, we will prove that in 2008 fiscal irresponsibility, poor management, and waste are not negatives; but simply a reason to grant a second chance and a taxpayer funded reward to such projects so that they can go back to business as usual.

(OK, sarcasm off now)

Tim Higgins, Columnist?

Yes boys and girls it's true!

Michael Miller, Editor In Chief of the Toledo Free Press (and a really nice guy), has accepted written material from your humble servant as a column in this week's edition. Now before you begin to question the sanity of these nice people, recognize that Michael and the Free Press are far too intelligent to actually throw money away by paying me for such labors. They have simply done me the kindness of exposing my particular brand of nonsense to a wider audience.

My thanks to you Michael for printing "COSI - Three Strikes", and my sympathies. I fear that your support to date will probably be repaid by a greater level of annoyance in the future. I can only hope that as time goes by, you will not come to regret the kind opportunity you have provided to me, as I bombard you with material for future use.

Update: I forgot to mention, in my haste to dislocate my arm patting myself on the back, that the column printed was on one of my favorite local targets, the Toledo Center of Science and Industry, coming up once again for a levy in November.

Fractured Fairy Tales - The Boy Who Cried Potential

Yes boys and girls, no matter how much we try to avoid it, it's time once again for another of those wonderful stories that you have all come to know and love. (Hey, no complaints. You just have to read them. I'm the one that has to to write them.) Today's tale is another of those cautionary tales about a magical land that we have come to know and love as "Toodledeedoo". But let's not waste any more time in idle chit-chat and get right to our story. 


Once upon a time their lived a man (well, more of a boy actually), who lived in the magical land of Toodledeedoo. This man/boy was a civil servant, in a position of some authority, and had been given direct responsibility for the economic development of the land. Now this was something that is very important to any community, and unfortunately something that he knew absolutely nothing about. But such was the makeup of this over-age child that this lack of knowledge or skills in no way prevented him from blundering forward at his assigned duties. Time passed, and little of this responsibility was actually accomplished.


Toodledeedo's situation in fact got progressively worse under his stewardship. Soon even blissful ignorance made it impossible for him to ignore the fact that he was failing miserably at this given task, but being the creature he was he decided that if he couldn't fulfill his obligations he would ignore his failures and attempt to draw attention to himself and his supposed efforts anyway. 


So one day, he simply went to one of his failed ventures (in this case the downtown Erie Street Market), and cried, "This building has potential!" Everyone came running to see what all of the fuss was about, but when they came, all that they saw was a sad little man in a sad little place. If once the Erie Street Market had potential, it had long since passed. It was little more these days than an eyesore and a drain on Toodledeedoo's scant resources, and a source of embarrassment to it's citizens. Disgusted at being pulled away from their own lives (and with this tired little performance), they shook their heads and sadly walked away. 


Determined to gain praise when he had failed before, he chose another site. This time standing in front of the closed COSI facility (Center of Science and Industry), and again he shouted, "This building has potential!" Once again everyone came running to see what all the excitement was about. Once again they were disappointed. This time the citizens were being presented with a project whose potential, if it ever had any, had long since passed under intellectual laziness, operational neglect, and poor fiscal management. Once more disgusted with a fuss being made over nothing, they sadly shook their heads and walked away, this time mumbling as they left. Infuriated now over his lack of success in drawing the praise he felt he so richly deserved, and undaunted by his continuing failure to garner the proper attention, our subject tried a third time. 


Standing in front of the United Way building this time, he once again shouted, "This building has potential!" Once more, everyone came running (well actually more like trotting this time, but at least they showed up again). One glance at where he was standing was enough for the crowd this time however. The United Way building had been written off by the very people that it was built for as a white elephant, and merited little more than the demolition the owners already had planned for it. The tired efforts or our sorry little civil servant, having passed mere annoyance by this time, were really beginning to aggravate the populace however. They left again, but not without a few angry shouts about bad judgment, abuse of power, and sheer bull-headed ignorance this time. 


Surprised over his complete failure to garner the praise and attention that he felt he so richly deserved, he finally gave up and began to make his way slowly back to his office. It was while make this somber journey however that it occurred to him that the answer to economic development he was looking for had been right before his eyes all the time. It was something that many had been telling him about for years, but which he pointedly ignored because he hadn't come up with the idea first. Toodledeedoo was on a really big lake (some might even call it great) so it could handle shipping by water, was in the middle of a bunch of great 4-lane roads that could be equally helpful, had an airport that nobody was using for much of anything these days, and was surrounded by rail lines to add to the mix. 


If all of these things could be combined (Can you say intermodal facility?), he could turn Toodledeedoo into a commercial hub for the transportation of goods from one end of the country to the other. This realization struck him so strongly that it was all that he could do to continue walking. Almost in spite of himself, he had finally found the answer he was looking for. (After everyone else of course, but that's beside the point.) "This has potential!" he cried, but this time nobody came. "No, this time I really mean it. This has potential!" he screamed again even more loudly, but again no one came. He screamed and screamed again. He screamed until he finally made himself hoarse, but no one ever came to see what the fuss was about. 


You see, when you abuse the power of your position and falsely claim successes that don't really exist, eventually everyone stops listening. Fed up with the natural fertilizer and noise that you have generated in the past, people eventually wise up, tune you out, and in the end ignore you completely. Even if you come up with a great idea after that, no one will show up to hear you; and it is highly unlikely that any good idea that you come up with will ever be realized as a consequence.

THE END

Let us hope that this is a fate that those of us not living in a fairy tale can yet avoid. Real opportunities don't come very around often, and if you continually pass them up, eventually they stop coming at all. Perhaps such cautionary tales will help to curb the noise and nonsense that some of our civic leaders generate in their need for self-aggrandizement, focus our attention on real opportunities, and give good ideas a chance to yet succeed.

Run For Your Lives ... COSI Is Back

Yes ladies and gentlemen, COSI is indeed back. David Waterman, chairman of the COSI board is bringing a request for inclusion on the November ballot to the Citizens Levy Review Committee of the same levy that has been defeated twice before. After all, as the Toledo Blade points out "the third time will be the charm". Mr. Waterman's feelings, according to the story are that the larger voter turnout in a presidential election will help the efforts of COSI to gain taxpayer funding for COSI's operation, even though it is a private organization. (It qualifies for this through a special change in state law)

Mr. Waterman is correct when he points out that the previous levies were only defeated by narrow margins (71,249 to 70,001 in 2006, and 43,248 to 41,571 last November). He fails to point out a couple of things however:

1. That a loss is still a loss, as any professional sports team (or amateur one for that matter) can tell you.
2. That both the margin of loss and the percentage of loss has increased from one election to another, in spite of lower voter turnout.
3. That the planned levy being put forward is still based on the city providing the Portside building for a rent of $1.
4. That the planned levy being put forward is likewise based on city continuing to pay the utility bills that it was covering before COSI closed (and still covers today in order to maintain the building).

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it appears that while dead (COSI closed last December), this sinkhole of public funding has more lives than Jason Vohees in the Friday the 13th series. No matter how many times somebody kills the damn thing, it just keeps coming back ... and uglier each time than the one before.

• There is still no discussion of creating or having created an efficient business plan, even though the board has had over 6 months to come up with one.


• There is still no discussion of using something other than the Portside building for this effort, even after admitting that the facility is inefficient for such use.


• There is no discussion of seeking money other than taxpayer money, though the COSI board has found funding for marketing their levy effort. (Unless of course, they get the taxpayer money first, and then that future effort is listed only as a "hope".)


• There is no direct benefit listed for the reopening of COSI, other than an emotional appeal loosely associated with kids and education.

Evidently the will of the people is only realized when it gives more of its money to government to dispense on its behalf. Evidently such will can only be expressed during presidential election years (as was pointed out by a County Commissioner who will remain nameless 'Konop', but who was not elected during one). Evidently "no doesn't mean no" when expressed by the voters of Toledo and Lucas County. Well Mr. Waterman, at the risk of contradicting the Toledo Blade and yourself on the potential outcome of this levy, let me use my own metaphor to describe your upcoming effort:

"Three strikes and you're out!"

In the spirit of full faith and disclosure, I should mention that I have written before on the subject of such an entity as a cautionary tale or fable. I should likewise point out there may be an economic benefit to the passage of this levy. I previously compared COSI to the Titanic.I now have heard a rumor that Clive Cussler is waiting in the wings with a book and movie deal if this Titanic is successfully raised.

Fractured Fairy Tales - The 3 Little Pigs

Yes boys and girls it's time once again for Fractured Fairy Tales (cue the music). Today we have a very interesting tale about 3 very tenacious little pigs.

So let's begin ...
Once upon a time in the magical land of Toodlededo (pronounced Toodle Dee Du) there lived 3 little pigs: Cosy, Finky, and Blocky. Now these weren't ordinary little pigs. These were 3 very determined little pigs who were used to getting their way.

Well one day, the 3 pigs decided to build a house for Cosy. Well actually, they decided to take a really nice building along the river in downtown Toolededo that was not at all suited to be a house and give it to Cosy to live in. The only problem was that they didn't own the building. The building was owned instead by a big, bad wolf by the name of Votaire (apologies to the philosopher, but it seemed like a funny idea at the time). 

Now Votaire wasn't really sure that he wanted Cosy in the building, but Cosy had managed to raise some money to really fix the place up, hire some people, and buy the stuff he wanted to put in it. Then he, Blocky, and Finky told Votaire that if he would just give them the building for Cosy to live in that they would never ask for anything from him ever, ever again. Then Blocky and Finky got all the neighbors worked up about how good a thing it would be to have Cosy living there on the river and how good it would be for Toodlededo in general (besides, nobody was using the building at the time anyway). In the end, they convinced Votaire to let Cosy go ahead and move in.

Well it started out well enough, Cosy brought lots of the bright and shiny stuff to the house, hired some people, and before you know it he had made the place on the river his home. It wasn't long however before things started to go bad; for you see Cosy was a bad tenant. He barely paid the meager rent and he squandered all of the money that he had raised originally to pay for the stuff and people to take care of it (which he never really had much of a plan to do). As time went on, it was discovered that Cosy couldn't do a very good job taking care of this bright and shiny stuff either, nor could he manage to pay the utility bills on his new house. He went to Blocky and Finky, and they in turn told everyone that this wasn't Cosy's fault. Cosy was a good, but terribly misunderstood pig whose house was vital to Toodleededoo, and that he just needed a little more help to make ends meet. So they decided that Votaire should pay for Cosy's utility bills for the good of the neighborhood and told him so. Votaire wasn't very happy about this either, but conceded that maybe they were right and grudgingly agreed.

Things continued along, with conditions in Cosy's house getting worse all the time as it did. The stuff in Cosy's house was no longer bright and shiny any more, the repair of the building was getting worse, and still not enough money was coming in to replace that going out. By then however, Cosy had decided that even though he didn't fit in the house and couldn't pay his bills, he didn't want to leave. He had gotten used to the place that he was in, liked the people working for him, and liked even more the free ride that he had been getting from Votaire. Cosy went to Finky and Blocky once again for help and together they hatched a plan for Votaire to not only continue all of the support that he had been giving Cosy before, but come up with some additional cash to help pay for the bright, shiny things and the people to take care of them. That was the final straw for Votaire, and he huffed, and he puffed, and he blew the plan down.

Now you would think that this would persuade the 3 little pigs that their game was up, and that they should fold up their plan and go; but not these 3 little pigs. These little pigs were so determined in fact, that they came up with another plan a few months later (amazingly, it looked exactly like the first one, with Votaire picking up the tab for everything). They said that this was a much better plan, and that Votaire would be really stupid, wrong, and mean if he didn't agree to it. Well Votaire could be pretty determined too, and once again he huffed, and he puffed, and he blew the plan down.

Cosy was despondent, but reconciled. He said that he finally got the message that Votaire didn't want him in the house any more. As much as he hated to do it, he would go ahead close up the house and let all the people who took care of the bright and shiny stuff go. Finky and Blocky were very sad too, and a more than a little mad about it (angry, not crazy ... at least I think that's what it was). They said that it was a damn shame how short-sighted and mean-spirited that Votaire was, and that Toodlededo needed Cosy in that house They further said that Votaire would live to regret it if Cosy left. Votaire was not to be moved by such words however, and soon the house was closed and Cosy was out.
Time passed and things had seemed to settle down, when one day Votaire got a bill for $6,900.00. Perplexed, he called for the pigs.

"What's this bill for?" he asks.

"Why that's for Cosy's house," Finky replies.

"Cosy's house," Votaire says. "We closed that months ago and I had almost forgotten about it. Why in the world does it need $6,900 now?"

"Oh that's for the monthly upkeep on the place," said Finky. "Cosy has been taking care of it as best he could since he left in order to keep all the bright and shiny stuff, but he's finally run out of the last of the money he originally raised and needs this from you so that he can move back in later."

"Move back in later?" said Votaire. "What in the hell are you talking about?"

"Oh, didn't we tell you?" says Cosy, obviously very excited now. "We are going to ask for that money again in a couple of months. We thought that this time you wouldn't be as short-sighted, mean-spirited, and stupid in looking at this situation as you have been in the past. We thought that this time you might see fit to give us what we want; in spite of the fact that we really don't have much of a plan, that the plan we have still really hasn't changed much and has you footing the bill for everything, and that you've already said no to this plan twice before. All of our plans would be in vain however, if we didn't take care of all of the stuff in the meantime, so..."

"Yeah, isn't this a great idea?" chimed in Finky and Blocky together (they seem to do that a lot for some reason). "You could give Cosy all of the money that he wants and he could go back home where we think he belongs. Then we could all live happily ever after."

THE END

Well of course, this is not anywhere near the end. In fact, it may be that we will never see the end of this story. After all, these are 3 very determined little pigs.

COSI - Titannic of Toledo

Before the ink is even dry on the tally sheets for the November 6th levy votes, we see that our local elected representatives are choosing to ignore the will of the electorate. A letter was delivered yesterday to the board of COSI, signed by Mayor Finkbeiner, and Commissioners Gerken, Konop, and Skeldon-Wozniak. It urged the board of COSI to keep the doors open while alternate means of financing were being looked at, and with the promised support of those who signed to help achieve that alternate financing for COSI. 

It therefore appears that our elected officials feel the voice of the people, as expressed through the levy vote, is wrong. (People by the way whose current positions are owed to the dubious wisdom of those very same voters.) It is apparent now that to these particular government officials, voters are only to be trusted when they vote to give the government more power and money, and that they should otherwise be ignored. 

It also appears that COSI is the issue that will not die. The voters have spoken twice now to deny COSI access to taxpayer dollars that they never really had a right to in the first place. COSI is a private, non-profit organization whose only access to request levy money was granted by a change in the laws by the state legislature. COSI is an operation who by its own admission, was begun with a failed business plan. That plan included a promise that no further tax dollars would ever be requested or required. We now hear that this promise was either an error (see failed business plan) or a lie. In its current incarnation, COSI functions on $1.00 per year rent and what appears to be utility bills that are being deferred ad-infinitum (forever, for those of you who were never forced to sit through Latin classes). Even with these generous (taxpayer funded) operating costs, additional revenues from private donor contribution, memberships, daily ticket sales, food, and trinkets sold on premises; this science museum is unable to be self-supporting. 

There is not enough money to replace or refresh exhibits on a regular basis or to keep the existing ones in good repair. There appears to be a law of diminishing returns to even meet the salary demands of the limited staff required to operate the facility. To the mayor and county commissioners I therefore say this: The ship is going down, and has been for some time. You may put a brave face on this and gamely play on with the orchestra, but please allow the rest of us to enter the lifeboats. 

Do not pour good money over the bad you have already wasted in an effort to keep this Titanic afloat. She may have been a lovely ship at one time, but will sail no longer. Allow her to slip beneath the waves with dignity. While you are at it, please respect the wishes of the people whose confidence you asked for when you ran for election. 

If we were considered smart enough to have our votes count in electing you, we are smart enough to decide what we will support now. Worry about the rest of the fleet (the Erie Market, the Docks, the Arena), which will also sink without your continued attention. In some cases they already are - aka the Erie St Market. We will be watching, and we will remember.

When The Levy Breaks

We are facing votes Tuesday on levies for four different organizations, COSI, The Library, MetroParks, and TARTA. There have been postings on a number of sites (Thurber's Thoughts, Glass City Jungle, Wannabe Mayor, Hooda Thunkit's Therapy Blog, and Major Nitpickers) on each of these requests. I would simply like to make an attempt to summarize here.  

Each of these organizations has laid claim to their "rightful share" of the money that we work hard to earn every day. Each has a noble purpose, and each has an assumption that they deserve this money for the good of the community. None however, have been able to describe an effective business plan for operating in a city of declining population, jobs, and property values. 

COSI admits to a "failed" business plan from the start, which begs the question as to whether they are liars or just simply stupid. From this flawed beginning, having promised us that they would never again ask for money, and with the appearance of no real business plan to move forward; they come cap in hand like Oliver Twist, saying "Please sir, I want some more". My response, "Not today Ollie". You tell me that if you do not get this levy, you will be forced to go ... it was nice knowing you.  

Metroparks is looking for money to take care of the land that they purchased with a different levy. Now that they have the land they don't appear to have the funding to improve it, take care of it, nor to run many of the programs on it. You receive funding from a number of sources in the form of grants and gifts, but apparently that does not meet the needs of your budget. Perhaps money could be raised by selling some of the land or cutting back on some of the programs? But wait - property values are going down and selling real estate in Toledo is a losing proposition, so that won't work. And it appears to be impossible to consider doing 'less as more' for anything run on taxpayer dollars.Perhaps in a time when Toledo is shrinking in so many ways, you should realize that your budget does not need to grow. If you continue to add to our tax burden, there is likely to be plenty of green space (translate as empty land) in Toledo to choose from for future growth. 

The Library is looking for money to maintain their current programs at their current levels, none of which seems to involve books. Those expansions have to do with replacing, improving, and expanding its computer area and Internet access; and of course, adding to their DVD selections. Maybe these are the functions of the library of the future, but they do not need to be taxpayer sponsored. Libraries, by definition, are places of books. If they would like to expand in order to compete with Blockbuster video or an Internet Cafe, I suggest that they look at a mulch-tiered form of library cards, with a fee for DVD rental and Internet access, before asking everyone to finance these 'out of the box' business endeavors.  

TARTA, where do we even begin with you? You appear to run a service that few, if any take advantage of in the metropolitan area. Mayors of outlying cities are already crying over the monopoly you hold, the lack of service you provide, and the dollars that you drain. You have no real idea how many people use your service, and ask us for money to provide more. You must think that our heads are emptier than your buses. The only increase in ridership that you can show is with seniors, and you use that to frighten and intimidate us for money. (In case you hadn't heard, they call that extortion.) Go back and count your riders, give us an honest demographic of them, and present us with an effective plan to serve them before you ask for our generosity. 

It's time at last, for organizations asking for money from levies to be up front and honest with the taxpayers. Combine all of your levies and give us an honest look at the money that you would like from us to fund your endeavors. Face the financial reality of the community that you serve when presenting your requests. Do not attempt to confuse us about what these levies will cost us, whether they are new taxes, or whether they are increases. Present us with facts that justify your requests for money. Show us logical business plans to prove to us that our trust in you, once granted, will not be wasted. For many years, organizations like this have poked a stick in the cage of taxpayers. 

Perhaps it's time that you realize that you have finally made us mad enough to get off of our butts and do something about it. You had better pay attention to the reality of the present before we get to the bars and take a big bite out of you.