A belated return to the musings of a scribbler who considers himself an largely unreconstructed Capitalist, a Constitutional Textualist, and a largely unrepentant Stogie Smoking Curmudgeon. With luck, you'll find a bit of insight here, assembled from a logical and reasonable perspective, and served with a side of twisted humor. Be aware that irony and sarcasm may often find their way into these offerings; and it's the reader's obligation to discover where, when, or if they occur.
... because the sharpest curve that many of us will ever have to negotiate is that of a well-turned phrase
“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.” ― Mark Twain
“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.” ― Groucho Marx
“I predict future happiness for Americans, if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.” ― Thomas Jefferson
“The first duty of a man is to think for himself” ― Jose Marti
“Government exists to protect us from each other. Where government has gone beyond its limits is in deciding to protect us from ourselves.” ― Ronald Reagan
“Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man, and our politicians take advantage of this prejudice by pretending to be even more stupid than nature made them.” ― Bertrand Russell
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James Madison
"I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments by those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations."
After a barely noticed respite, I am back in front of the keyboard again. Though not a holiday in the truest sense of the word, it was at least a few days without the pressure of producing an 800-1000 word piece for the blog or the newspaper. Speaking of which, during this all-too-brief hiatus I attended a public meeting on public transportation; an experience which might best be compared to the anticipation and performance of root canal surgery ... without anesthetic.
While the midst of contemplating suicide through a series of small but very painful paper cuts, I kept hearing an old Irving Gordon tune which at one time turned into perhaps the greatest father/daughter duet of all time (at least in my humble opinion). The results of this recurring them became my first returning effort for the TFP, "Unsustainable".
I won't ruin the article for you by recounting any of the details of it for you, but I will tell you that I did attempt my best imitation of Bernie Taupin (the lyricist on many of Elton John's best). Since I'm in the mood not to ruin things for you, I will also not attempt to tell you what's best in the rest of the paper as well. This is partly because I don't want to spoil the surprise, but mostly because I simply don't know.
So if you want to know what's going on in the Glass City and Northwest Ohio this week, you're simply going to have to read the mid-week 'Star' edition; as well as Toledo's largest Sunday circulation and Ohio's best weekly newspaper, the Toledo Free Press.
You know, since I'm in such a good mood, I think I share the pleasant experience of the tune that was running through my head as inspiration.
Someone on the staff at a recent editorial meeting had the temerity to bring up the thought that were a couple of things we hadn't done here at "Just Blowing Smoke" in quite some time:
1. Release another Fracture Fairy Tale to the public 2. Pick on the Toledo Area Regional Transit Authority (TARTA)
After a bit of verbal abuse was exchanged over who would be held responsible for these lapses (someone must always be blamed in the end), it was decided to kill not two, but three birds with one stone (which was rolling by at the time, having not gathered any moss) and do a Fractured Fairy Tale on TARTA as our offering for the Toledo Free Press. (The fact that doing so allowed the editorial staff to go back to their normal slacker ways, and to do so with rather smug expressions on their faces, I'm sure occurred to none of them.) The result of these combined labors was an effort that came to be known as "The Little Bus That Couldn't".
If there's not time to talk TARTA down from the ledge of offering us a choice on this new misguided more egregious way into taxpayer's pockets, there's plenty of time to get the word out and vote this potential monstrosity into the seventh level of Hell that it came from.
Of course because of the nature of this week's effort, I don't know when it will go into the TFP. Have no fear however, the mid-week 'Star" edition should more than entertain; and come what may, there will be another weekend edition of Toledo's largest Sunday circulation Ohio's best weekly newspaper (for the third year in a row) to amuse and inform you.
An experiment was tried this weekend, and it resulted in the second effort in as many days being posted online at ToledoFreePress.com. In a piece titled, "When the Levy Breaks", I manage to tie together spring flooding, misuse of public transportation money on a levy, and a Led Zeppelin song.
The attempted effort was a lot of fun, and something that I hope comes up again. I have little doubt however, that in spite of my altruistic motives, this will not see me advanced on a "Stairway to Heaven".
The Toledo Area Regional Transit Authority (TARTA) has discovered in recent months that in spite of the increased ridership which skyrocketing gas prices has brought them, that with the corresponding increases in their own fuel prices, the levy passed in 2007 is not allowing them to meet their operating costs effectively.
As a consequence, they have recently reduced their level of service to certain areas in order to cut those costs. (Funny, I have been having the same problem lately, but without the same option to help resolve my own situation.) In addition, they have commissioned a study (the most recent in a long string of them) and a website survey to help determine what needs to be done in the long term to alleviate the financial woes and poor reputation that seem to be a way life for them.
TARTA has also had an increasingly problematic relationship with many of the Toledo suburbs that it serves, owing to the high contributions that those cities give and the poor return on investment that many of them feel that they receive in return. State law however, says that once you join TARTA, you can't leave without the unanimous consent of its board. Since just over half of those board members are appointed by the city of Toledo, who needs to insure that no revenue sources for TARTA are reduced or eliminated, don't look for any departures soon. (Does this remind anyone else of an organized crime mentality?)
Fear not however for the future of TARTA, for it already has a sense of its future and a plan to move forward, secure in the funding required for its continued operation. That plan is to abandon the levy process which it has only narrowly managed to successfully use to insure daily operation, and instead push forward with a county-wide sales tax ear-marked for its use. No more wrangling with pesky voters or proving its usefulness to riders, local governments, and property owners. (After all, population is dwindling and property values are declining.)
Better instead have the entire county declared a geographic monopoly and expand its revenue base. Better still, to bypass regular levy requests and change its funding method. Far better indeed to quietly bleed the taxpayers with a sales tax than to place its name, reputation, and costs before that same disgruntled populace for a levy to provide the lion's share of its funding (80% of TARTA's budget is funded by taxpayers at the federal, state, and local level at last count). No part of this plan is being aired in public yet except as speculation, but support of local politicians is already being lined up for the change. The pro-forma study currently being conducted will no doubt confirm the conclusions drawn by TARTA before it was even begun.
Congratulations TARTA, you have learned your lessons well. The failures of groups like COSI and local school boards are not lost on your board of directors. You will not suffer the budget tightening and disappointment of those who have failed to evolve their form of larceny in order to keep pace with the economy and growing taxpayer dissatisfaction.
Your backdoor, backroom maneuverings and political machinations will undoubtedly produce the financial rewards that you desire. I have little doubt that you will secure your funding plans, backed by local politicians who do not want their name attached to the first failed mass transit system in the country, by unions who want to continue to enjoy high wages and job protection in an increasingly dangerous economy, and by a voting public who generally does not seem to understand that taxes are something that come out of their pockets.
And while you drive increasingly more empty buses, made so by an unfriendly environment in Northwest Ohio that you have contributed to by adding to the crushing local tax burden, you can glide happily on your way. You will have secured your future by contributing significantly to the destruction of our present.
We are facing votes Tuesday on levies for four different organizations, COSI, The Library, MetroParks, and TARTA. There have been postings on a number of sites (Thurber's Thoughts, Glass City Jungle, Wannabe Mayor, Hooda Thunkit's Therapy Blog, and Major Nitpickers) on each of these requests. I would simply like to make an attempt to summarize here.
Each of these organizations has laid claim to their "rightful share" of the money that we work hard to earn every day. Each has a noble purpose, and each has an assumption that they deserve this money for the good of the community. None however, have been able to describe an effective business plan for operating in a city of declining population, jobs, and property values.
COSI admits to a "failed" business plan from the start, which begs the question as to whether they are liars or just simply stupid. From this flawed beginning, having promised us that they would never again ask for money, and with the appearance of no real business plan to move forward; they come cap in hand like Oliver Twist, saying "Please sir, I want some more". My response, "Not today Ollie". You tell me that if you do not get this levy, you will be forced to go ... it was nice knowing you.
Metroparks is looking for money to take care of the land that they purchased with a different levy. Now that they have the land they don't appear to have the funding to improve it, take care of it, nor to run many of the programs on it. You receive funding from a number of sources in the form of grants and gifts, but apparently that does not meet the needs of your budget. Perhaps money could be raised by selling some of the land or cutting back on some of the programs? But wait - property values are going down and selling real estate in Toledo is a losing proposition, so that won't work. And it appears to be impossible to consider doing 'less as more' for anything run on taxpayer dollars.Perhaps in a time when Toledo is shrinking in so many ways, you should realize that your budget does not need to grow. If you continue to add to our tax burden, there is likely to be plenty of green space (translate as empty land) in Toledo to choose from for future growth.
The Library is looking for money to maintain their current programs at their current levels, none of which seems to involve books. Those expansions have to do with replacing, improving, and expanding its computer area and Internet access; and of course, adding to their DVD selections. Maybe these are the functions of the library of the future, but they do not need to be taxpayer sponsored. Libraries, by definition, are places of books. If they would like to expand in order to compete with Blockbuster video or an Internet Cafe, I suggest that they look at a mulch-tiered form of library cards, with a fee for DVD rental and Internet access, before asking everyone to finance these 'out of the box' business endeavors.
TARTA, where do we even begin with you? You appear to run a service that few, if any take advantage of in the metropolitan area. Mayors of outlying cities are already crying over the monopoly you hold, the lack of service you provide, and the dollars that you drain. You have no real idea how many people use your service, and ask us for money to provide more. You must think that our heads are emptier than your buses. The only increase in ridership that you can show is with seniors, and you use that to frighten and intimidate us for money. (In case you hadn't heard, they call that extortion.) Go back and count your riders, give us an honest demographic of them, and present us with an effective plan to serve them before you ask for our generosity.
It's time at last, for organizations asking for money from levies to be up front and honest with the taxpayers. Combine all of your levies and give us an honest look at the money that you would like from us to fund your endeavors. Face the financial reality of the community that you serve when presenting your requests. Do not attempt to confuse us about what these levies will cost us, whether they are new taxes, or whether they are increases. Present us with facts that justify your requests for money. Show us logical business plans to prove to us that our trust in you, once granted, will not be wasted.
For many years, organizations like this have poked a stick in the cage of taxpayers.
Perhaps it's time that you realize that you have finally made us mad enough to get off of our butts and do something about it. You had better pay attention to the reality of the present before we get to the bars and take a big bite out of you.
