Last week's cross-disciplinary effort was apparently much more fun for the staff than I had realized (or intended, for that matter). Both the Department of Just Blowing Smoke Security and the Stuck on Stupid lexicographers asked for an opportunity to try again. (I originally suspected that sampling a hidden bottle in the attic that they didn't want to share caused this attempt to repeat their effort. I have since come to believe however, that it has more to do with the flattery advanced by a certain attractive lady from a land far away.)
In the spirit of benevolent dictatorship, I bowed to this entreaty, knowing that the chances they could equal their last effort were worse than Michelle Bachmann's odds on getting the Republican presidential nomination. (Of course it might have something to do with the fact that I'm a slacker who sees no reason to write something of my own when someone else volunteers.) After an extended session in which scrap paper was generated equivalent to the number of trees required to deforest Delaware, I was presented with a result that I had neither looked for, nor expected.
Looking at this effort now, I can't help but be amazed at their exhaustive research (which I assume from the periodic snoring that came from upstairs) in identifying a previously known, but unrecognized core group of nefarious characters plotting against this nation. I found this group to be not only a credible threat, but insidiously clever in calling themselves by the very name that describes their activities.
This 'hiding in plain sight' mentality is an excellent form of misdirection; but unfortunately for them, one that proved not entirely successful when subjected to the scrutiny of a group of miscreants who are themselves well-schooled in the art of not being noticed when they don't want to be. I therefore present the following addition both as a terror alert and as a new definition for the Stuck on Stupid (SOS) Dictionary.
Terrorism:
Taxing the
Evil
Rich to
Reduce
Obligations
Resulting from an
Immoderate government
Spending
Movement
1. The efforts of 'Tax and spend' true believers in Congress and the White House who seek to mitigate their profligate spending through the forced confiscation of the abundance of those they deem affluent.
2. The misguided attempts of followers of the 'Robin Hood' theory of economics (like Paul Krugman) that justifies giving the poor that which they have not earned and don't deserve by taking it from an alleged 'evil rich' who have committed no crime except succeeding at life through their own hard work.
3. The misguided tactics of a guerrilla government to balance its books by robbing Peter to pay Paul. The inherent failure of their tactics comes from the fact that Peter can never have enough taken from him to make Paul happy.
4. Grand Inquisitors of Keynesian economics using WMD's (Weapons of Mass Distraction) to so poison the intellect of the electorate that they believe that although the top 1% of wage earners pay 38% and the top 10% pay 70% of the taxes in this country, they are not paying their 'fair share'. (statistics are from The Heritage Foundation)
5. The activities of suicide bombers like Warren Buffet and Ron Howard who misuse a combination of wealth and celebrity to destroy economic growth in this country through the use of 'Media Explosive Devices' (MED's) that maim rich and poor alike when detonated in public places.
6. The actions of elected officials (mostly rich themselves) who believe that it's alright to take money from other rich people as long as the 'servants of the people' are left alone with their lavish pensions and exceptional medical care.
7. The strategies of subversive left-wing social planners, with an army of IRS enforcers at their back, who have managed to create an aura of fear wherever and whenever the concept of personal success rears its ugly head in this country.
8. The stunts performed by adversaries of free market capitalism who have pronounced a jihad on those who believe in the principle of the 'pursuit' of happiness, rather than government-enforced egalitarianism.
9. The enterprises of insurgents that hand money that isn't theirs (and exists only as government debt) to Wall Street brokers and 'too big to fail' bankers by the wheelbarrow full, only to later feign attacks on them for the purpose of disingenuous propaganda; all the while appropriating funds to continue to do so from the innocent bystanders they claim to be defending.
10. Seditionist strategies by elements of society that claim to be attempting to free the people of this country through an unrelenting program of tax slavery.
11. The activity of those who see themselves best suited to pick the winners and losers in life by attacking the most successful on behalf of the least able.
Those who have somehow missed previous Terror Alerts or entries in the "Stuck on Stupid" Dictionary may find them by typing 'terrorism' or 'dictionary' into the search function on the left tab.
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