Thursday, November 12, 2009

New City Legislation

On Tuesday, City Council stepped forward to pass new legislation to make it illegal to pass a bicycle without a minimum safe passing distance of at least three feet. Councilman Steve Steel sponsored this legislation, stating after its passage that even though it would very soon become law: - that it was not currently seen as a problem in the city - that it would be difficult to enforce - that it would not of much concern to police - that for the most part, the law would only serve simply on an educational basis (assuming of course that it's not forgotten in the next month)

Perhaps however the real impetus to pass such legislation, much like the rush to pass the texting legislation currently under review, was to allow grandstanding politicians to get ahead of a parade of similar legislation currently under consideration at the state level in so as to appear even more caring to voters. 

Now some of you may remember that I tried to deal with this law, as well as the previously mentioned local texting while driving ordinance under consideration in my proposed TOAD (Toledo Omnibus Auto / Bicycle texting while Driving) legislation last week. Obviously, I was not only unsuccessful in getting these two pieces of legislative nonsense combined, but equally impotent in getting them thrown down to defeat.  

Not to be deterred however, I am seeking to change tactics, seeking a different kind of legislation for Toledo. I now am therefore proposing the Add / Subtract Stupid Laws for Toledo. This legislation, which for simplicity's sake will be dubbed the "ASS Laws for Toledo" will seek to force council to remove one stupid law from the books every time that they add a new stupid law to them. 

My hope is that if we cannot prevent City Council from continuing to pass legislation best used as natural plant fertilizer, that we can at least try to maintain a consistent relative volume of such ignorant pronouncements on the legal books of Toledo. I urge each of you to call or email your district City Council person, and all of the at-large members of council, and urge them to vote for the ASS Laws for Toledo.  


It has been brought to my attention that some people may be offended by the acronym used for the proposed landmark legislation that I have put forward. It appears that the word "ASS" can be considered offensive (possibly by those who feel that they could be considered one themselves)

An alternate acronym has therefore been called for, and while I am obviously disappointed after all of the previously expended effort in coming up with this rather clever acronym, in the end I find that the principle of the law itself is more important than the name by which we call it. I have therefore withdrawn any objection to a change (and besides, if just one life is saved ...). As a consequence, please feel free to now use DUMB as the replacement name for this proposed legislation, with this acronym in turn standing for Delete Unnecessary Municipal Bullshit. 

Understanding that words do mean things, I have promised to apologize for any offense that might have been caused to members of City Council for the use of what was apparently considered an offensive acronym if any such elected representative of the city will apologize to me for what I consider the even more egregious offense of the idiotic legislation being debated in City Council when they have more important things to do. 


Roland Hansen said...

Asinine laws are what makes Toledo City Council go round and round.

Now, then, what about that texting while driving issue? And of course, why bother passing a timely and appropriate city budget?

Tim Higgins said...


You have called it my friend! It amazes me how few are calling all of council on this absolute nonsense.