Saturday, October 11, 2008

Politically Correct

Having described myself in the past as politically incorrect, I realized that such a claim would be unsubstantiated unless I could properly define Political correctness. Fortunately, I recently received some information that can do just that, and I decided to share it with you. Political correctness can be defined as anyone who believes the following:
  • Kentuckians, Tennesseans, and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as Hillbillies, but as "Appalachian-Americans" instead.
  • Bad male dancers will no longer be called so, but will instead be called "Overly Caucasian".
  • Men will no longer be referred to as "Getting Lost while driving", but instead be said to be "exploring alternate destinations".
  • Women will no longer be called "of easy virtue", but will instead be referred to as "Horizontally Accessible".
  • The term "Dumb Blonde" will no longer be acceptable. "Light-haired detour on the information Super Highway" will be used instead.
  • Overweight men will no longer be said to have a "Beer Gut". This condition will instead be referred to as a "Liquid Grain Storage Facility Condition".
  • You can no longer refer to someone as a "Two Bit Hooker", but must instead refer to them as a "Low Cost Service Provider".
  • A man's receding hairline can no longer be referred "Balding", but should instead be referred to as suffering from "Follicle Regression".
  • A person no longer has "Their Head Up Their Ass", but instead is suffering from "Cranial / Rectal Inversion".
Go ahead and admit it, you were laughing, weren't you. Are these tasteless? Probably. Are they ridiculous? Perhaps not as much as you think. Is it sad that this is the world we have created with this nonsense? Definitely.

4 comments:

Roland Hansen said...

Very good, Tim, However, in my own mind, I do not think anything is "politically correct" anymore.
Someone somewhere will find anything and everything anywhere whenever and always to be insensitive, offensive, degrading, disrespectful, condescending, or whatever.

Tim Higgins said...

Roland,

The loss of good manners, ethical behavior, and common sense do appear to be regrettable, but not unexpected. It is after all, an election year.

Dawn said...

Here's my two cents:
Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

Tim Higgins said...

Dawn,

I am more than willing to accept your definition until a better (or funnier) one comes along. Based on your entry, that may be a while.