You Stink !

Just in case you thought that I was kidding about this, I wasn't ... you stink. Don't get me wrong, it's probably not your opinions (well, actually, I'll get to that later), it's literally the way that you smell. Whew! "Now wait a minute," you say. "You're the one smoking those nasty, stinky cigars and trying to kill me with the second hand smoke." And that might be even true enough, in spite of the fact that all of the studies citing second hand smoke as a cause for cancer are anecdotal and that the link is therefore tenuous at best and a lie at worst. As for the smell, I would argue that the smell of a good hand rolled cigar is something that most people savor (good pipe tobacco even more so). 


Besides, your objection should not get to determine my behavior. I am allergic to cats, but that doesn't mean that other people shouldn't get to own them. What we might be able to agree on as objectionable however, is that the smell of a cheap cigar is bad, and much like a cheap perfume can be truly annoying. And that brings me to the my next point. 


There are far too many out there who qualify as parts of the "unwashed masses". Not that we have sunk to the level of the French at least, where bathing still appears to be an occasional hobby rather than a regular practice; but there still appears to be more than a few out there who could use additional doses of soap and water. And of those do manage to get within a handshaking distance of human cleaning products, many of those could use guidance in the area of cologne selection. For those of you who didn't know, the cologne that smells good on your friend may not smell as good on you. A more expensive bottle of perfume does not necessarily smell good, nor does wearing more of it make you smell better. And for those of you who have bought into the nonsensical and wildly successful ad campaign, Axe cologne and body spray does not make women go mad over you (unless it is in fact to run from your ignorance). 


Covering a lack of regular bathing with a perfume or cologne, no matter how expensive or how much you use, simply doesn't work. (Remind me to tell you of an acquaintance of my youth that we used to call "Belly" some day.) What often smells even worse in many cases however, is the arrogance of the opinions of the politically correct crowd, sneering at all who do not hold the views that they consider sacred laws, never to be violated (yeah, you knew I had to get to this at some point, didn't you). The stench of such sanctimonious behavior reeks of the putrefaction of a dying mind, no longer capable of processing new facts or information. In fact this odor may be worse than almost all others; as it is insidious in the way that it spreads, can often go unnoticed until the carrier begins to speak, and is such that it cannot be helped by any purchased scent, regardless of the price. Once perceived however, it permeates the very fabric of the space around it, conveying the odors of self-righteousness, decay, and arrogance.

So for those of you sitting smugly on the pinnacle of such arrogance, looking down from its heights on those of us indulging in what you consider our misguided views and filthy habits. For those of you who wrinkle your nose in disgust at us in what you consider our misguided notions and behaviors. Remember that from the heights that you inhabit the breeze hits your exposed position first, and more directly. And for those of us, who seem to be eternally down wind of your snobbery, pompousness, and condescension let me tell you 

... You stink!

 

TFP Column: Sword In Toledo's Stone

I have been rather remiss in not pointing the small, twisted group of people who read this blog to the Toledo Free Press in recent weeks. There is probably no excuse for such a lapse in judgment, though perhaps subliminally I was trying to save Tom Pounds (the Publisher) and Michael Miller (editor in chief) from the embarrassment of having to admit to their association with me.

I feel that I can no long do so however, having just enjoyed their hospitality at the opening day festivities for the Toledo Mud Hens (made famous by Jamie Farr's "Klinger" on MASH). The weather was bright and beautiful, the food and beverages served were wonderful, and the company was exemplary.

Of course I have a drum of my own to beat, with a column in this week's edition, "The Sword In Toledo's Stone". It speaks about one of our currently announced mayoral candidates, and amazingly seemed to come together as a series of images in my head that merely needed to be connected by proper verbiage.

As always however, if you go online for the Free Press simply for my contribution, you are truly missing the boat. Lisa Renee has an interesting piece in Blog It on the caffeine concoction that keeps many of us alive, there are a couple of pieces udating all on the state of the recall petition for our esteemed Mayor, and as always, Michael Miller has an interesting piece, this time on a Treasuer Hunter of a different kind.

Have a great weekend, and happy reading....

The Pay Gap Is Growing

As we celebrate the day by which all of us will have handed over our "Fair Share" to the Federal, State, and Local governments in an increasingly tough economy (and the day of the Tea Parties of course), we have yet one more thing to inflame our passions (as if the budget, the bailouts, and the tax code were not enough). It is a disparity that continues to grow in this country. 

No I am not talking about the disparity in the amount of taxes paid between the rich and poor (I'm an evil Conservative after all, and we don't talk about things like that). In fact it's a growing disparity in the in the compensation that people receive for their labors. This is not however a discussion of the disparity in the packages of CEO's and blue collar workers or the disparity between the pay given to male and female employees for the same work (again I am a Conservative, so you obviously won't hear about such things from me). Instead, it is a discussion of the growing disparity in pay between workers in the public and private sector. 

According to an article in USA Today from 4/10/09 entitled Public, private pay gap grows, while the wage gap between the public and private sectors has remained pretty much the same (in the public sector's favor of course) the growth in salary benefits has led to a steadily increasing divergence between the two. Last year in fact, government benefits rose at a rate three times more than those in the private sector, $.69 vs $.23; with totals salary packages averaging $27.35 in the private sector and $39.25 in the public sector.  

In fact, according to the numbers in just one area of such packages from the the Bureau of Labor Statistics data that USA Today used, government workers receive more than double the amount of money contributed to their health care than private sector workers received ($8800 vs $4100). While this seems to have had no impact on a Federal government that continues to add new employees at a rate that only Carl Sagan would have been capable of keeping up with (oh come one, everyone remembers "billions and billions"), this disparity does appear to be having some impact on other levels. 

Ohio's government workers as an example, have agreed to take unpaid furlough days in order to help return $440 million to state coffers over the next two years, a period in which the state budget is desperate to find ways to make ends meet. (Of course what remains little talked about with this agreement is that the workers will get most of this back in the third year.) On the local level, Toledo has likewise noticed this trend and while facing a $28 million budget shortfall, is looking at both the salary and benefit packages of city employees (even those with previously negotiated union contracts). 

In yet another example of emulation, they are attempting to discover if there is a way to use the state as an example to get some of the money contributing to this disparity back. Being politicians, I suspect that they are likewise deciding whether such a growing disparity in pay to city workers in an area where unemployment is currently running at about 13%, is a politically defensible position any longer. While many will be running for cover as this continues to be an ever-growing issue in an ever-growing government, legislators across the country have finally realized that there is an elephant in the room that they can no longer ignore.

"People will become angrier and angrier when they learn the difference between their pay and benefits and what we give to public employees," state Sen Chris Lauzen of Illinois was quoted as saying in the article.  

(Really!  Ya think?)

 

Right Wing Extremists ?

An interesting document is making its way around the Internet from the Department of Homeland Security. This document purports to have been something called the Extremism and Radicalization, Homeland Environment Threat Analysis Division, coordinated with the FBI. If accurate, it says a lot, not about the group that it hopes to portray in disrepute; but about the state of the Department of Homeland Security in the US.  

It begins by saying:  
The DHS/Office of Intelligence and Analysis (I&A) has no specific information that domestic right wing terrorists are currently planning acts of violence, but right wing extremists may be gaining new recruits by playing on their fears about several emergent issues.  

For any of us used to seeing such reports in regards to global warming, the key word here is may. There is no proof or direct account of such actions taking place, but that should not prevent law enforcement from being on the alert based on the charges being laid. The report then goes on to blame the economy, potential gun restriction legislation, free trade agreements, illegal immigration, abortion, and same-sex marriage on these anti-government groups; making them ripe for violent action. They even cite disgruntled returning Middle East veterans as a threat because of their combat skills; and they further cite the example of the mentally deranged individual who killed three police officers in Pittsburgh as an example of the violent behavior such people are capable of.  

Prominent in all of this is mention of course, the "historic" election of election of Barack Obama, the first African American president. Quite frankly, this document is either the lousiest piece of intelligence done since the CIA in the days leading up to the Iraq war, or it is a wonderfully crafted hoax designed to stir up "right wing" anti-government sentiment. 

I must add that the timing of the release of these documents on the days leading up to the tax tea parties occur is more than a little suspicious. Might this be something trumped up by left wing extremists? For it was those left wing extremists who, in the days leading up to the last presidential election, committed numerous demonstrations (sometimes violent) in the name of their causes. 

It is the left wing Sierra Club who distributes misinformation on the environment, PETA who throws blood on those wearing fur coats, and ACORN who perpetrates voter fraud, while the right wing stands idly by, attempting to play by the rules. It was the Republican candidate who strictly followed his campaign pledge to release all campaign contributor information while the Democratic reformer refused to disclose any such information.  

Do not let your hackles be raised on the day before those who choose to peacefully gather to try and return this country to its proper direction. Do not let yourself be fooled or incited by the tone or accusations of this document, real or fake. Do not allow the intent of this classic example of non-violent protest be painted as something other than it is meant to be. 

Update 

 It appears that the document in question is in fact genuine. Wow, I guess that one should never underestimate the government's ability or propensity for (using a phrase made famous by our own Mayor Carlton S Finkbeiner) "half-truths, mistruths, and outright lies". It should likewise be pointed out that if this kind of information were being passed about any other group other than Conservatives in this country, that it would be considered government sponsored hate speech.

 

Second Hand Noise

Having put up for years with bogus studies and dire warnings detailing the health risks of second hand smoke to those around me I have finally reached a point where I will seldom smoke in public. The looks of horror and disgust, the disdainful remarks, and the visible hatred that I am subjected to by many of those around me in such situations is simply not worth the small pleasure of enjoying a fine cigar.  

While I continue to refuse to give up my "filthy little habit", I will at least concede the day to the army of politically correct nannies who seem to control the discussion and limit myself to such guilty pleasures either in the privacy of my home or during the occasional pilgrimage to a good cigar store (and La Casa de la Habana, you know who you are). Having thus performed this sacrifice for the betterment of mankind however, I now have a health concern of my own that I wish to share. My concern is for the insidious and despicable attack on my piece of mind made through second hand noise. Now for those of you who cannot understand this concept, it is basically noise that someone else is making, that has nothing to do with me, and that I do not wish to hear. I am sure that you know the kinds of noise that I'm talking about if you take but a moment to think about it; but let me list just a few of them anyway:

• You are crammed into an airplane for a cross-country trip, only to be subjected to someone four rows ahead of you playing an I-Pod or DVD player through their headphones loud enough for you to hear what they are listening to just well enough to annoy the hell out of you.
• You are stopped at an intersection only to have someone pull up beside you in a car whose stereo is playing loud enough to rattle the windows in yours, not only drowning out the sound of your own radio, but that of your engine as well.
• You are sitting in a quiet restaurant attempting to enjoy a fine meal, a great bottle of wine, and perhaps an even better conversation with someone, only to be interrupted by the screams of a baby far too young to be there in the first place, but brought nevertheless.
• You are attempting to shop for what may prove to be a couple of completely unnecessary items in a grocery store or mall as quickly as possible before returning to the relative peace and quiet of your home, only to be subject to the squeals, screams, and shouts of some family's rug rats as they clamor for some sugar or chocolate coated item or toy guaranteed to make their behavior only worse.
• You are sitting almost anywhere these days, simply trying to enjoy a moment of peace in what is proving an increasingly insane world, only to have that brief respite ruined by someone who thinks that listening to their end of a conversation on the hands-free rig of their cell phone is something that you cannot live without.

People, if I am forced to deal with your unproven anecdotal data on the dangers of second hand smoke and to modify my behavior as a consequence, then those of you contributing to the loss of the volume control of the planet can deal with my very real concerns with the now deafening output of noxious noise coming from most of the rest of you, most of the time. 

Perhaps those of you particularly guilty of making this auditory assault on our collective eardrums can make a sacrifice similar to my own, and limit yourself to more solitary occasions for your mostly auditory assault. Perhaps it's time that every one of you contributing to the higher overall decibel level of the human race begin to make a similar behavior modification in the name of species' peace of mind. 

TFP Column: The 10% Solution

This week's effort in the Toledo Free Press is pretty straight forward.  We keep getting told by the government that times are tough and we all need to make sacrifices.  Well about we go with "The 10% Solution", where every member of Congress takes a 10% pay cut instead of the raise that they just got.


Oh sure, it won't balance the budget; but it would save the government over $9 million per year, as well as show we taxpayers that our elected representatives are willing to share our pain.


Pain is exactly what you'll be feeling if you find out that you missed something going on because you thought you were too busy to catch up on everything that's going on in NW Ohio by reading the Toledo Free Press.

The Agony and The Ecstasy

I am sitting in front of the computer tonight trying once again to come with anything with some degree of originality and in the hopes of likewise being able work it into something of at least reasonable quality for tomorrow's posting. Unfortunately, it seems that I have failed. 

For those of you who have never attempted to write a blog, a newspaper column or anything else on a regular basis for that matter, this is the agony sometimes dealt with by those of us who do. With the submission of this posting, my total for Just Blowing Smoke is now 340 in slightly less than two years. I have likewise penned some 22 columns (counting the one for this coming weekend's edition) in about 5 months for the Toledo Free Press. It's hard to come up with that many things to write about, even in a target rich environment like Toledo. 

While there is certainly some duplication in the topics that I have dealt with in both of these arenas, that number is surprisingly small. Equally small during these periods when the Muse has apparently abandoned me, is my ability to string together sentences coherently or intelligently. There is little worse than the feeling as I agonize over each turn of phrase, berate myself over improper sentence structure, and recognize later that I have even failed to properly run spell check. 

Quite frankly, the experience leaves me in a state of both physical and mental anguish. I started doing this whole writing thing because I enjoy it, and the only thing worse than not being able to produce anything is only being able to produce something of poor quality. There is ecstasy as well however (though I find it hard to believe tonight). 

Every once in a while you get a phrase just right. With what often seems about the same regularity as the coming of locusts, an entire paragraph comes together exactly the way you want it to. With the seeming frequency of Halley’s Comet, an entire posting or column comes together as something you don’t mind having your name over the top of. (Well, that’s what I’ve heard anyway … I’m still waiting and hoping.) 

Maybe the problem this week is that I have been on the road too long on this trip, that attending two conferences back to back has allowed me to kill too many brain cells in a short period, or simply that I’m in Hershey, PA and distracted by all of the chocolate around here. And since it appears that the concept of an ecstatic feeling from writing seems far beyond me this evening, I think that I will go down to the gift shop and indulge in a bit of milk chocolate mood enhancement. 

 

I'm A Liberal

I am a liberal, and what's more, I'm in pretty good company. No I am not on medication, drinking the Kool Aid, nor has the world flipped on its axis. Neither have I been invited to the Kennedy compound for a global warming summit with Al Gore or an economic summit with Chris Dodd, Charlie Rangel, and Barney Frank. What has in fact happened is that I have decided that words after all, do mean things. 

You see Liberalism (or more accurately defined these days, Classical Liberalism), had it's birth in the Age of Enlightenment and is a philosophy that stresses individual liberty and a limited government. Taken in great part from the works of such writers John Locke, David Hume, and Voltaire it exhorts the concepts of equality of opportunity (not outcome as today's Liberals would like to believe), property rights, and equal rights under the law. 

It's no surprise therefore that I say that I'm in pretty good company when say that I am such a Liberal. Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Paine, John Adams, James Madison, and the rest of the Founding Fathers were all such Liberals in their time. The Declaration of Independence and the Constitution are in fact based on such thinking. 

In turn, it was the Conservatives of the time who believed in a strong central government, sought government control of prices and wages, and were against the very concept of independence and the American Revolution. So what happened? How did what the Founding Fathers believed become the liberalism that we see today? 

The answer, once again is that words mean things. While Classical Liberalism believed in those principles previously outlined, there is another kind of Liberalism, Social Liberalism. Social Liberalism believes in heavier taxation and more government control of the economy. European Social Liberals of today in fact shows more of a tendency towards Socialism or even Communism than the more pure form of the philosophy. As language often does, the original meaning of words becomes gradually changed over time (some would say even perverted). Those with the loudest or most strident voices eventually decide what words will mean (much as the winners of a war write the history). 

In the 19th and early 20th century, and especially during the Depression this led to a change in liberalism; especially in how it related to economic theory. It is here that the theories of John Maynard Keynes took root, in what classical liberals would say was a misguided attempt to get the government more involved with the economy to redress what Keynes felt was an inequality of wealth. It was this philosophy, taking hold in the policies of FDR's New Deal, that formed the basis of today's liberal thinking. Over time, those in power simply took over the meaning of the language, leaving the term Conservative for those seeking to maintain at least the status quo, and who rejected the type of change that these new Liberals were making.  

Time and History march on, and labels stick; but I take the position (as I said in the beginning of this posting) that words can and must have meaning. I believe that true liberal thinking (Classical Liberal thinking) is still of value in today's society. As I consequence, I proudly proclaim that I am indeed a Liberal. 

TFP Column: Asleep At The Wheel

This week's effort, "Asleep At The Wheel", speaks to the somnambulism of Conservatives in this country.  Lulled by a president who assured us that he was in fact a Conservative (though a compassionate one) and misled by a media that demonized him just enough to keep us from suspecting, we have only recently discovered this 'sheep in wolf's clothing'.  

But don't let my depression over discovering yet again that I haven't been paying attention to much of what has been going on around me.  And don't make the same mistake that I have, a situation that can be quickly rectified (at least in part) by spending some time catching up with events in the Toledo Free Press.

SCHIP II - April Fools

It is with deep sadness and a delicious sense of irony, that I wish all of you Happy SCHIP II today. For it is today that this legislation begins to take effect. For those of you who decry the evils of smoking and claim the beneficence of knowing that more "children" will now have available health care, I wish you all happiness of the occasion. Of course there are a few dirty little secrets in the gift that you receive today that you might want to consider as it goes into effect:

• Under the new guidelines, families earning up to $70,000 per year for a family of four will be eligible for SCHIP coverage
• Under the new guidelines people will still be considered children when they are 30, and therefore likewise eligible.
• 60 percent of those currently uninsured are under 35, and 40 percent of them are under 25.
• Many of these without coverage are uninsured not by compulsion but by choice, choosing to spend their money on things other than health insurance and believing that their youth and current good health offer them some level of protection.

But what the heck, you have what you really want now, don't you? Those of us smoking tobacco products will see the single largest increase in taxes on that product in the country's history. Taxes on cigarettes will double, and those on cigars will go up by about 1000%. Therefore those of us with this filthy little habit will be punished on an unprecedented scale. 

While you're enjoying our misery however, you should recognize a few other things. The tax increase put forward will not solve the problem of child health care nor will it fully fund the program that it's supposed to support. That probably means that we are only seeing the beginning of massive increases on tobacco taxes to help make up the coming shortfall, but that's OK too as only the evil will be punished. 

As those burdened with this increasingly punitive taxation finally bow to your politically correct will on the evils of smoking and quit however, the funding problem will not only remain, but will get worse. Eventually the law of diminishing returns will take over and the burden for this travesty of legislation will be placed on the general revenue budget (you know, like Social Security is about to be). 

By then however, this will have simply become one more step down the path to National Health Care in this country that this program was always intended to become, and we can look forward to the shortages of doctors, medicine, and medical technology that has plagued (pun intended) this program in other countries like Britain and Canada. Welcome to the world that you have created, and oh yeah ... April Fools.