TFP Column: The Seventy Percent Solution

What in the world could a Sherlock Holmes tale written in 1974 by Nicholas Meyer (also famous for his contributions to 'Star Trek') have to do with the water and sewer systems in Toledo, OH?  Surprisingly enough, the relationship is elementary.  If you haven't figured it out however, you're going have to read this week's effort for the TFP, "The Seventy Percent Solution". 

While it has nothing to do with the subject of my effort ... being that this is Mother's Day weekend, you have to believe that the TFP will be extensively covering covering this most important of holidays.  I would be willing to bet that there might even be a few other subjects worthy of your attention that will be delved into as well.

But what would you expect from Toledo's largest circulation Sunday edition, and something that's been Ohio's best weekly newspaper for the last four years.  Of course I'm talking about nothing other than the Toledo Free Press.

TFP Column: Sporting Toledo

Many are looking forward with great anticipation to the baseball playoff season (though with the Cubs at 29-1/2 out of their division lead, me ... not so much).  Others look forward to the beginning of college football rivalries, with the season opener for the Fight Irish of Notre Dame occurring in Ireland against Navy.  Others still watch pre-season NFL football, and hold out hope for a better season than last (and that the real refs will get back to work soon).

Many however, anticipate the climax of the Republican convention or the beginning of the Democratic one, when candidates will ramp up the rhetoric to a fever pitch in the hope of their team winning the big one in November.

In Toledo however, sports and politics have combined into an event unique to the Glass City.  While the initial rounds (and maybe the game itself) may be over, it's worth a little time to review some play-by-play (though without the Sportscenter video) as City Councilman Steve Steel participated in a little "Contribution Hold-'em" at One Government Center.  Call it what sport you will (I certainly threw every one I could think of at it), there's no denying that the one-on-one match up outlined in "Sporting Toledo" was a unique one.

What's not unique however, is that you will only find the kind of hard hitting coverage you yearn for in the website of Toledo's largest Sunday circulation and Ohio's Best Weekly Newspaper (now for the fourth year in a row), the Toledo Free Press.

TFP Column: Economic Holiday Fat

Stepping up on the bathroom scale and listening to Toledo's Administration and City Council begin talking about the city's budget are both things which are becoming increasingly difficult to do.  

As I point out in this week's effort for the TFP, "Economic Holiday Fat", both appear to be subjects filled with temptation, self-delusion as to the facts, and the perpetration unhealthy practices.  While I however, am only playing Russian roulette with my own future health and well-being by recent lack of rectitude, they are gambling with that of a large number of people who have placed them in a position of trust and responsibility.

It's not bragging to say that I am far more sure of my own ability to get out of control consumption under control than I am of those in charge of the Glass City, based on their prior track record.  

But there's also good news to be had as this holiday season kicks into full swing, much of which you will never know about unless you read this weekend's edition of Toledo's largest Sunday circulation and for the third year in a row, Best Weekly newspaper, the Toledo Free Press.

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Toledo's Convenient Truth

Later today,there will be a public meeting held at 4PM in the Toledo City Council chambers to discuss the proposed increases in the city's Water and Sewer rates. This meeting will be to discuss the department's request last week for increased rates of 9.9% for each of the next four years for water, and 13% per year for the same period for sewers. 


Evidently the state of the over 1,100 mile system is critical, and only a major influx of cash to shore up the emergency fund of the department (and the system) will solve the crisis. I will not comment on the long-standing court case between the city and the latest EPA agreement that these yearly increases will apparently help to resolve, nor will I comment on the management expertise of a Water and Sewer department that would leave itself in such a state of physical and fiscal disrepair before declaring the current emergency situation. 


I will however, comment on the convenient timing of the announcement of its woes and this recent request. For it is curious indeed that none of this information was apparently known in the days leading up to the November election. Evidently the city and water department's efforts at negotiation with the EPA, the state of the department's budget, and the concern over imminent catastrophic failures of infrastructure were all a mystery to those running things.  


And while it appears that such budgetary surprises are the norm for The Glass City (as can be seen by the examples of the the city's budget and that of TPS), one has to wonder about the convenience of the eventual discovery and announcement of this information ... after some members of the City Council whose responsibility includes the budget, had recently completed runs for higher office. I'm certainly not accusing anyone of purposefully hiding this information or attempting to mislead voters in the days leading up to an election in order to provide political cover for long-term elected officials (at least not so you would be able to legally accuse me of), but cannot help but at least consider the possibility of it when looking at the timing of these surprisingly dire circumstances. 


I likewise cannot help but now wonder how these candidates would have fared in that recent election if what can only be considered a dereliction of duty, ignorance of their obligations, or lack fiscal responsibility would have been discovered before the vote was taken. One cannot also help but wonder at the claims made by the current Administration that all of the fault for this crisis should be laid at the feet of previous Mayors and administrations. 


This is not to say that previous department Administrators, Mayors, and City Councils should have been more forthcoming, done something, or at least have known about the impending plight of the system. It is to say however that after this much time in office, that the current Administration might have discovered the impending crisis sooner if it had done the complete city audit that it promised voters during and after the Mayor's election to office. 


One cannot help but be left therefore, with the conclusion that either the situation remained unknown and the Administration was irresponsible in not carrying out its promise, or that it was known and those in power simply ignored the pledges made to voters. One must also believe in the possibility of a rather curious and fortunate set of coincidences, or that unlike Mr. Gore's this is a rather convenient (or conveniently timed) truth.

Does A Temporary Tax Mean a Temporary Deficit?

Mayor Bell wants the voters to know that the temporary .25 increase in the city income tax he is proposing to close the $44 million city budge gap will end in 2012, at least according to the language in the proposed legislation. He is quoted in today's Toledo Blade as saying, "When I say temporary, I mean temporary". 


 I believe that Mayor is a decent person and probably believes what he says here. I am not so sure that the ever growing level of budget shortfalls will be over by December 31, 2012 as touted however. While I see some honest effort at nibbling on the edges of the city's problem, there is nothing that I can see that makes a sweeping change to local government to reduce the sizable amount of difference between revenue and spending that appears annually in Toledo. 


One time real estate sales might help this year, though property values seem to indicate that in many cases the city will barely recover money still owed on such property. Selling the parking garages, which appears to be the city's largest asset, has been pointed out to be much more complicated (and less profitable) by Lisa Renee in Glass City Jungle. 


The bottom line with such an approach however is that these properties are one time sales. Once their recovered value has entered onto the city's ledger, they are gone forever. The debt that the city incurs is a returning problem, and if they solve this year's by these sales there is no provision for that which will undoubtedly occur next year or the year after. 


Other revenue sources such as the red light cameras and trash fees appear to be equally problematic. Maggie Thurber does a great job of showing the current proposed thuggery of the city regarding red light camera revenues (as well as a returning ballot effort to ban this potential source), and the trash fee situation is still making its way through the courts. 


What we know from history however, is that the city's predilection for spending more than its revenue allows is anything but temporary. As a consequence, it is probably naive at best and disingenuous at worst to assume that the proposed temporary tax increase would in fact be one.

Toledo Is #1 In Ohio

The numbers are in and Toledo is the #1 ... worst metropolitan area in creating and sustaining economic growth in Ohio, at least according to the Milken Institute / Greenstreet Real Estate Partners Best Performing Cities Index. 

Dropping four places in this list from last year's showing of 194, Toledo came in at 198 of the top 200 cities in the 2009 survey, surpassing other Ohio cities: Youngstown (193), Canton (190), Cleveland (186), Dayton (183), and Akron (167) in its failures; in a survey whose numbers were calculated based on job growth and wage and salary levels, as well as other criteria. No Ohio city was ranked in the top 100 in this survey (though Columbus came in at 108), and in fact only Detroit and Flint, MI ranked worse in the survey conducted nationally every year. (Something to aspire to perhaps?) 

Governor Strickland must be very proud to have so many of Ohio's cities near the bottom of the list on this survey. Perhaps the plan to delay the reduction of state income taxes will have an even greater impact on next year's effort and group Ohio cities closer together near the bottom. 

Locally one has to be thinking. Our current Mayor, Carlton S. Finkbeiner has been holding press conferences almost every day lately in the hopes of once and for all establishing his legacy of leadership in Toledo. With the release of these numbers, perhaps he has yet another reason to do so, and an accomplishment he can truly call his own ...

You Go Home Now

Like a nightmare that you cannot seem to wake from, the time of the current mayor of Toledo just never seems to end. While the latest (and we can only hope final) stint in office of three-term Mayor Carlton S. Finkbeiner is about to end, it appears that it and he will not go quietly. Apparently aware of the impending end of his reign, Carty continues to miss no opportunity to stake his claim to one last bit of celebrity. 

When this lame duck mayor is not in front of the cameras announcing projects and milestones that never seem to occur, he is touting as if they are his own, projects that he has had nothing to do with. When not attending the manufactured publicity events like the destruction of a communication tower, he can still find the time to mistakenly defend the hiring or retention of ill-qualified, ill-behaved, and/or over paid city employees. 

Intent apparently, on wishing to establish a legacy for his split terms in office ( a term-limited two initially, and now this third), Carty cannot seem to go through a week without at least five mostly useless and patently manufactured press conferences. (Hmmm, who does this remind you of?) 

While failing to adequately perform his own tasks however, our Mayor still manages to find time to tell city council how to do their job. While famous for spending money on expensive plumbing, ill-advised real estate deals, unprofitable competition with private businesses, and landscaping projects for soon to be empty properties; our mayor has the effrontery to damn council members for not managing to fill the pothole of a budget that he created during his time in office through his plan of taxes and fee imposition and creation, all of dubious nature and questionable legality. 

While infamous for playing fast and loose with the rules regarding how he operates under the city charter, he yet finds opportunity to cast aspersions and attempts to exert pressure on council members for operating within their own rules for their own ends; even when such influence directly violates the separation of powers defined in that charter. While assuming a absurd posture of pretended principle and heaping scorn and ridicule on any citizens or media who dare to question him on the narrow view from his bully pulpit, he nevertheless appears ready to question the motives of any and all around him on anything he sees fit. While assuming a false mask of almost regal bearing, he continually destroys any illusion of majesty through wild-eyed rantings and nonsensical ravings. (John Mason Brown had a great line about this: "He played the king as if afraid that someone else would play the ace.") 

Well today places us but ninety days from the end of this dreadful nightmare. In but three months, we in Toledo will finally be able to wake up from what has appeared to be an almost "Groundhog Day" experience. A new mayor will take the stage (with hopefully a few new city council members will join the process as well). 

Perhaps this new mayor will learn from his predecessor and stay a bit more out of the limelight. Maybe he will learn to play nice with city council and not threaten to take his ball home every time that he doesn't get his way. Maybe he will even be able to rebuild some level of the trust that no longer exists between Toledo, its citizens, and its neighbors. 

As for our soon to be ex-"cheerleader in chief", I can only recommend to Carty Finkbeiner what the owner of the Chinese buffet suggested to the calorically challenged diner: 

"You go home now. You been here too long." 
 

Random Nonsense

"The loneliest time that I have ever spent was waiting for inspiration." 

This little bit of insight came to me some time ago, and as I once again sit in front of a keyboard with nothing coming out it, I am somehow reminded how difficult it can be to come up with something worth sharing. Since that appears to be beyond my grasp this weekend and in the true spirit of "Just Blowing Smoke", I thought that instead I would share some random and disjointed thoughts with you.

• Is anyone else offended by the president taking the commemoration of the anniversary of 9/11 and co-opting it as a "National Day of Service"?
• Is anyone else amused by the concept that the day after the President announces this first ever "National Day of Service" by the government, that thousands of people have gone to the very seat of power to protest at being "over-served" by that same government?
• Three days before the primary election in Toledo, I wonder how many of those longing for hope and change a little more than a year ago will show up at the polls this Tuesday?
• The Marina District development on the east side of the Maumee River is in trouble once again. The EPA says that there might be toxic chemicals still in the ground there and has told the city to get it (or at least it's paperwork) cleaned up. Meanwhile, Larry Dillin still has not delivered the promised funds to the city for the land (and with this hanging, who would blame him). Eventually this will of all get clear up of course, but my question is: Who is going to want to pay big bucks for a luxury home site or condo on a former toxic waste area to view a river that could also still use a good bit of clean up itself?
• One of our mayoral candidates is touting an economic plan that calls for eliminating the city income tax by increasing property taxes and adding a city sales tax, a plan that supposedly will bring residents and businesses back to Toledo. Now, setting aside that some or all of this may not be possible or even legal, isn't this like putting out a house fire by throwing in Molotov cocktails?
• Speaking of mayors, Toledo Mayor Carlton S. Finkbeiner has 113 days left in office according to my count. Has anyone else started counting down to the celebration?
• Toledo has a recently built baseball stadium and is about to open a new state-of-the-art Arena for hockey, arena football, and music events of every kind. Let us hope that 'Field of Dreams' was right and, "... If you build it, they will come."

OK, now that I've got all of that off my chest, I can go back to the serious business of taking a nap before going to bed this evening Have a great weekend!

TFP Column: Mayor Needs To Make Way For Class Of 2009

Sometimes giving up the attention that you think you are entitled to is extremely difficult. It happens with an oldest child, and with mayor's who often act like children as well.

That certainly seems to be the case with the inestimable Carlton S Finkbeiner, who can't seem to "Make Way for the Class of 2009", they being the candidates from which one will take office.  Instead of allowing the city to look to a brighter future, our Mayor Carty wants us all to be a part of his non-stop pity party.

If you'd like to turn your invitation to that gathering down, I'm sure that you can find more than enough things to gain your interest by spending just a bit of your weekend with the Toledo Free Press. 

 

A Gentleman & A Scholar(ship)

One of our current Mayoral candidates, a young gentleman by the name of Ben Konop, has staked out a rather interesting idea as part of his campaign. 

As outlined at least briefly in last week's Toledo Free Press "10 ways Ben Konop can save Toledo if he is elected mayor", he proposes to call for an $80 million scholarship fund for higher education funded on cost savings that would be achieved by the County through cost cutting measures and privatizing the EMS service for the County.  

This is not the first time that this particular mayoral candidate has sought County funding for college tuition, the last time suggesting that such funding could in some part be obtained by refusing to replace windows in a County-owned building that already had an approved capital improvement budget. (This seemed confusing to me at the time, as more energy efficient windows would show our desire to do the right "green" thing by saving energy, and would also save County money through reduced heating and cooling bills. Perhaps I simply don't understand the County Commissioner's priorities however.) However, the concept of where the money comes from deflects our attention from the real questions here: 

- Why would you choose to saddle the county with reduced revenues at a time when you are choosing to remove yourself from responsibility for the county by running for Mayor of Toledo? 

- If you could have saved money for the County by these measures (or any others for that matter), why haven't you already instituted them? - At what point did college tuition become the responsibility of the County (or any level of government for that matter)?

Oregon, OH Mayor Marge Brown and her city council evidently agree with me on this one. Spearheading an effort to shoot this concept down, Oregon just passed a measure opposed to this effort by a vote of 7 to 0 on Monday. As reported in FoxToledo.com yesterday, Mayor Brown in fact pointed out yet another potential problem in this scholarship effort, that being that since Commissioner Konop is a teacher at the University of Toledo, directing County funding to it may well be a conflict of interest.


I wonder sometimes whether it has occurred to any of our mayoral candidates that we could more easily bear the burden of things like tuition, both for ourselves and for our children, if our government were more efficient and our level of taxation were not so high. I wonder what they are really thinking when they propose pie-in-the-sky things like wind farms on landfills with taxpayer funding that can never be repaid by such a project, at a time when every taxpayer in the area could use more of their money back simply to make ends meet. I seriously wonder at any politician who believes that government does a better job of spending the taxpayer's money than that taxpayer does. 

So while I'm sure that Mr. Konop proposed this plan with only the most altruistic of motives, I for one would like to politely decline his offer. We have seen again recently through the behavior of our current Mayor that we may well need a more of a gentleman in office, but we don't need this or any other county-funded scholar(ship). 

(In the spirit of full faith and disclosure, I must also point out that "Ben 10" has been until recently, one of my favorite cartoons. The article in the TFP however, though cleverly titled and illustrated, may possibly have ruined it for me.) 

 

Projection

As you know, I often take great pains to point out in this blog that words do in fact mean things, especially some words. I have been thinking about such a word a good bit recently ... Projection. 

I have been thinking about it because like many words, it has more than one meaning. The first one that comes to mind is: An estimate of future possibilities based on a current trend. My desire for a true understanding of this meaning is a simple one, because so few in our local government seem to understand it. 

The $27 million budget crisis that Toledo faced in 2009 didn't happen over night. It was the product of years of unrealistic revenue forecasts, profligate spending, and the willingness to completely ignore reality. It was likewise the practice of creating an environment in this "livable city" equally hostile to both businesses and individuals through insufferable regulatory practices, onerous taxation, and outright belligerence on the part of the Mayor of Toledo. The combination of these inabilities, in combination with the current economic crisis, has proved to be a perfect storm for Toledo. 

It has taken what in normal circumstances would have been a troubling, but not life threatening situation into a disaster of Biblical proportions. Even with all of the cuts that the Mayor and City Council have made thus far to stem the incoming tide of red ink, it appears to have had little or no effect on the overall outcome of this flood of bad city finances. Unfortunately, it is another form of projection that seems to have taken hold. That definition of projection reads: The externalization of blame, guilt, or responsibility as a defense against anxiety.  

Unfortunately this appears to be the only form of projection that our city leaders seem capable of. The Mayor blames the City Council for their failure to do exactly as he says, in spite of the fact that he has never done even an adequate job of properly budgeting for the city. The Council blames the Mayor for failing to produce a balanced budget, in spite of the fact that it is Council that is supposed to control the purse strings of the city. While the Mayor presents a budget, it is Council which has the right and obligation to approve city spending (or deny it). 

Neither bothered to honestly attempt to understand the realities of the 2009 revenue or to spend responsibly in years past so as to have funds to fall back on when tough times invariably came. The horrible truth is that both parties are equally responsible for failing in their responsibility to the voters who placed them in office. 

Even now, in spite the fact that both parties have made some attempts in recent days to address the current situation, the city remains some $15 million in the red for the current budget, with worse news ahead of us going forward into 2010. There is another definition of this word that I would like to bring to the Mayor and Council's attention: A transforming change. Let us hope that there is yet the courage, the intelligence, and the political will to move past prior failures with the first two definitions that Projection gives and some hope of this transforming change.

 

TFP Column: Sword In Toledo's Stone

I have been rather remiss in not pointing the small, twisted group of people who read this blog to the Toledo Free Press in recent weeks. There is probably no excuse for such a lapse in judgment, though perhaps subliminally I was trying to save Tom Pounds (the Publisher) and Michael Miller (editor in chief) from the embarrassment of having to admit to their association with me.

I feel that I can no long do so however, having just enjoyed their hospitality at the opening day festivities for the Toledo Mud Hens (made famous by Jamie Farr's "Klinger" on MASH). The weather was bright and beautiful, the food and beverages served were wonderful, and the company was exemplary.

Of course I have a drum of my own to beat, with a column in this week's edition, "The Sword In Toledo's Stone". It speaks about one of our currently announced mayoral candidates, and amazingly seemed to come together as a series of images in my head that merely needed to be connected by proper verbiage.

As always however, if you go online for the Free Press simply for my contribution, you are truly missing the boat. Lisa Renee has an interesting piece in Blog It on the caffeine concoction that keeps many of us alive, there are a couple of pieces udating all on the state of the recall petition for our esteemed Mayor, and as always, Michael Miller has an interesting piece, this time on a Treasuer Hunter of a different kind.

Have a great weekend, and happy reading....

Challenging Status Quo

Lucas County Commissioner Ben Konop has tossed his hat into the ring for the office of Mayor of the City of Toledo. Citing the fact that all of the other candidates seem to represent the status quo and a continuation of good old boy politics in the city, he says that he has a record of aggressively challenging such thinking. Let's take a look at that record.

1. By running, Mr. Konop is going back on a campaign pledge that he made (and signed) while running for the Commissioner's office, that he would serve out the full term for the office if he was elected.
2. In 2007, Mr. Konop felt that the County would best be served by providing $250,000 of the county's money to subsidize a program to allow people to purchase local art from at $500 to $2,500 at a 1% interest rate.
3. Mr. Konop has consistently fought against funding the Lucas County Improvement Corporation, while providing no alternative for helping to create and grow businesses in the county.
4. Mr. Konop opposed spending previously appropriated money for new windows on its office building (a maintenance and energy saving measure well within the purview of the Commissioners) instead favoring spending the money on the unemployed.
5. Mr. Konop proposed (and was later trumped by fellow Commissioner Pete Gerken) legislation for a "living wage" for all projects having to do with the county. His original $8.38 per hour wage was later raised to $11.67, in spite of the opinion issued by the county prosecutor's office that the Commissioners had dubious right at best to issue such legislation.
6. Mr. Konop, a law professor and lawyer here in Ohio (and therefore an officer of the court) joined a group calling itself the "Toledo Foreclosure Defense League" as they called for the Lucas County sheriff to refuse to execute legal courts orders of foreclosure.
7. Mr. Konop claims to have executive experience from his two years of service as a County Commissioner, while having no prior experience in the private sector in managing budgets or handling personnel.

So in my humble opinion, we have yet another career politician attempting to move up the political food chain. A politician who has no experience in the private sector, who chooses style over substance and "feel good legislation" over fulfilling the responsibilities of office, and an officer of the court who violates that trust by usurping the very power of the law that he is sworn to serve. 

Which part of the political status quo Mr. Konop, is it exactly that you are challenging? But heck, if you don't think that I know what I'm talking about, perhaps the opinion of a former Lucas County Commissioner Maggie Thurber would carry some weight with you. 

John Lovitz for Mayor

I have, after some recent soul searching, come to the conclusion that perhaps John Lovitz should run for Mayor of Toledo. Oh I know that it would amount to a massive pay cut for an actor and comedian who works regularly, that he doesn't meet the residency requirements of the City Charter, that he has no experience in politics (at least that I am aware of); but he does have one thing that all of the current candidates for mayor (and the man currently holding the office) don't have ... the ability to make us laugh while he is lying to us.

Lovitz, for those of you who are unaware, created a character on 'Saturday Night Live' some years back called the pathological liar. It seemed impossible for this character to speak a line of without embellishment of the truth at best and complete abandonment of it at worst. His bits on the show while performing as this character defied all possibility for acceptance, denied any potential for belief, and stretched our sense of the outrageous as we watched this character do to truth what ... well what most politicians seem to do to it regularly. 

Maybe it's because our incredulity was stretched beyond the breaking point, or the fact that we had no vested interest in the pronouncements of the character, that allowed us to be amused by such behavior. Perhaps the portrayal of the character as such an obvious and blatant liar is what tickled our funny bone as he performed. Perhaps we were simply entertained by sheer nonsense that the character was capable of spewing and that we even found some core of honesty in the unadulterated dishonesty that his performances characterized. 

Now I don't know about you, but there are times lately when I simply throw up my hands with our current crop of politicians and what they laughingly call telling of the truth. It seems as if they are simply incapable of answering a straight question with a straight answer, or voicing a pronouncement of supposed fact that's anything less than a self-serving soundbite. I have reached a point in fact, where listening to anything that they purport to be the truth automatically calls the facts cited into question. It's as if every pronouncement carries with it a sign that says, "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain" or "these are not the droids you're looking for". 

As another old saying goes, "we know he was lying because his lips were moving". It causes me to wonder if Mr. Lovitz were capable and willing to submerge himself for four years in this character to act as a leader. We might not be able to expect any gain in the level of truth we are handed during press conferences, but we could at least be entertained while being told the fiction that passes for truth by most elected officials these days. 

Take Back Toledo: Cake Or Death?

I was sitting Tuesday evening, desperately trying to come up with something intelligent, interesting, and perhaps even informative for my traditional mid-week posting. I cannot tell you how miserable that experience was. I know that there is no such thing as a perfect vacuum, but the space between my ears had achieved a state so close to such perfection that the laws of nature were taking a considerable beating. 

Of course it is at time like these, when there is no potential interference to the random thoughts careening around my brain, that inspiration strikes. (Or more accurately, that my ADD connects the dots on things that had shown no previous connection.) 

In this case, it was a connection between the Take Back Toledo (TBT) Group and an old Eddie Izzard comedy routine. For those of you who don't know, the Take Back Toledo group is seeking to gather enough signatures to recall the Mayor of Toledo, one Carlton S. Finkbeiner. I have detailed the reasons for this recall in numerous earlier postings and Fairy Tales, so I will not bore you with them again. 

The need for the recall effort however, is both real and self-evident. Eddie Izzard, for those of you unfamiliar with him, is a comic import from the UK (though he was actually born in Yemen), who describes himself as an "executive transvestite". He has been around for a more than a few years now, and his stand up material is both outrageous and sheer genius. (He is also an actor of some note as well, and for those of you who recently saw Valkyrie, he had a small part in that film.)

"What's the connection?" you might ask, and you might even be forgiven if you were not familiar with Mr. Izzard's material. You see, one of Izzard's more famous routines involves a description of the lack of fundamentalism in the Church of England. As a consequence, his opinion is that if the Anglican church were to have inquisitions, it would lead to such difficult choices as "Cake or Death".

As you can see from the video, the choice that TBT offers is likewise pretty simple. Sign the recall petition for the mayor or face the slow, tortuous death that the city of Toledo continues to experience under the administration of Mayor Finkbeiner. As for me, before they run out of it, I choose ... cake. 

Twas the Night Before Christmas

My twisted perspective and warped sense of humor have once again asserted themselves. Unlike previous possessions however, in this particular case I have taken on a rather famous poem (of the above listed title) first printed anonymously, but later credited to Clement Moore. Being dead, he cannot object to such abuse, but may be found spinning in his grave upon the posting of this version. I hope that you enjoy its timely release. 

Twas The Night Before Christmas ... In Toledo  

Twas the night before Christmas, and through Glass City

Not a Creature was stirring, and more was the pity

Red-light cameras were hung, by the stoplights with care

In hopes that new revenues, soon would be there

The people were hiding, like always it seemed

And Council of rubber stamps once again dreamed

But sounds of pure rage from the big office did pour

While workers most wisely just ran for the door

Hizzoner was off on a tantrum again

His target now suburban businessmen

For Take Back Toledo was ready to start

And that can't be good for our old Mayor Cart

His eyeballs were flashing, his fingers were twitching

With radio stations the subject of bitching

He rambled of treatments, both violent and dire

His diatribe dripping brimstone and fire

The lights in the Market, now dimly they glow

But Carty's red face was much brighter you know

He suddenly mellowed in tenor and tone

When finally seeing he wasn't alone

It was me that was trapped with this loony old goat

With hopes that his meds would keep hands from my throat

He glared at me now as if seeing me dead

His coffee cup poised now to throw at my head

I froze in position, a smile stiffly glowing

In hopes that my fear of him wouldn't be showing

I searched for an option, I longed for an exit

I sweated and prayed that I wasn't his target

But just when I thought that I had seen my end He crumpled and folded and started to bend

And right at that moment he just broke down cryin

Admitting his enemies were Fred and Brian

He sobbed and he stammered, he pulled at his hair He blubbered not caring that any was there He stormed and he stamped as he read off offenses

He steamed as he listed the dire recompenses

I told him his problem just might be bad judgment On Flowers and bike paths, he had been so hell bent
I said there was more to his job than new showers Or than thinking of taxes and fees at all hours
I told him to stand up and admit to the blame Own up to it all and his head hang in shame I pointed out he had not done his job well
He drew himself up and threw out "Go to Hell"
He ran from his office and left me to stare He bypassed the lift and went straight for the stair
He raced down the floors to the lobby below No more would he listen, for I think he did know
He stopped at the exit, and with nostrils flaring, attempted to manage a more regal bearing
He sniffed and he growled as he walked away mumbling He unlocked his car with the keys he was fumbling

He climbed in that car where his dog had been penned

And pulled from a handicap spot once again

And I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight

“Daggonit that bastard, he just might be right.” 

Merry Christmas everyone! 

Can You Say Intermodal?

There have to be a fair number of you out there saying, "What in the hell in Intermodal?" Well if you will give me more than one line in a posting, I'll explain it to you. According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary, Intermodal is simply defined as: being or involving transportation by more than one form of carrier during a single journey  

Now for those of you not keeping up with your world economics lately, what this really means is this: 

1. We are more and more living in a global economy, where goods are not just shipped across the country, but around the world. 
2. In order to participate in this kind of business, every kind of transportation is involved (air, rail, ship, and truck) to get products from the point of manufacture to the final point of distribution. 
3. Strategically located points of transfer are required to make such a system work. 

"This is all very interesting Tim" you say, "but why are you posting about it?" Asking such a question would imply that you do not understand much about the town that I live in, Toledo, Ohio (or that you do, and are simply too caught up in feeling sorry for me to think this through). 

Toledo has a port on the Great Lakes, straddles the Ohio Turnpike going east-west and I-75 going north-south, has an airport that while not much used for passenger travel is ideal for freight, and is at the crossroads of a number of rail lines (both through the US and Canada). Perhaps now you are beginning to get the picture. Toledo would be an ideal location for an Intermodal transportation hub. 

Having recognized this in the 2 minutes that has taken to read all of this, you have to ask why no one has tried to build one here? In fact, a group has tried to. Many years back, it was pointed out to a few investors that land directly across from the Toledo Express Airport, close to an Ohio Turnpike entrance and to I-75, and only a few miles from the Port of Toledo would eventually be ideal for such a thing. These investors, being good businessmen, purchased the land, and waited for such an investment to bear fruit. Two years ago they began to put the final pieces together required to begin to break ground for this Intermodal transportation hub. 

They ran into a stumbling block however. Access to water was 40 yards away, and extension of that water line required city approval. Now let me explain at this point, that Toledo has the highest unemployment in the state, currently at about 9.3%. Businesses have been moving out of the city regularly and taking their jobs with them. Residents have been leaving the city because there are no jobs to work. So you would think that the opportunity to get such a job magnet as this Intermodal hub would gain immediate support from the city of Toledo. 

Would it then surprise you to learn that even though the investors have offered to pay the city for the water line extension, that the city (or more accurately, the Mayor of Toledo) has been sitting with the request for this extension in his desk for 2 years? Should I also point out that this same mayor is the self-appointed director of economic development in the city? Does this sound like any rational way to run local government?

It is time for everyone to contact the Mayor, the City Council, and the County Commissioners to get this water line extended the length of 1/2 of a football field so that this development can get off of the ground. To paraphrase a more formal contract, if any one of these people can show reason why this boon to the local economy should not move forward, let them speak now, or forever hold their peace. 

 It has been tough times for the city and county that I live in and it is likely that their are tougher times ahead. It is past time that government gets out of the way of one of the few opportunities that this region has. If our local leaders want to do their job, if they want to bring money and jobs to an area that desperately needs it, if they want to serve the people that elected them, they will do everything in their power to see this water line extended and this project moved forward.