Happy 6th Anniversary - Just Blowing Smoke

It was on this date back in 2007 (the second date that will no doubt "live in infamy") that the first post appeared on this site from some writing efforts that I had been playing with in another venue.  I had been a long time away from writing anything more interesting than technical manuals and more meaningful than some brochure copy, so many of the early efforts were crude at best.  (Many say that my efforts often still resemble such pinnacles of literature.)

Six years later, it's certainly questionable whether the writing has improved in any way; but the nature of the blog has certainly ... evolved (I was going to say 'matured', but we all know that such a term seldom if ever applies to JBS, and never to me). Here we are however, after entering over 1000 posts (some of them links to efforts for the TFP) and quickly closing in on 60,000 pageviews; for some unaccountable reason "Just Blowing Smoke" remains.  

I'm proud to say in fact, that during the intervening years, not only has JBS continued to maintain an audience in the US, but has grown to include audiences in western Europe and Asia.  Assuming that my tracking software is not merely taking note of cyber attacks, it's gratifying to realize that my efforts might be able to contribute my own bit of contributory negligence to destroying the concept of multi-culturalism.  

In the burgeoning world of New Media however, such numbers are insignificant, and mean that "Just Blowing Smoke" doesn't rate enough attention to even be attacked by prominent blogging sites of opposing views.  JBS is seldom 'called out' by other outlets (though there was a TFP effort of mine was once read by Glenn Beck on his syndicated radio show a couple of years ago).  Nor have these efforts been recognized by the far larger blogging world that it's a part of.  (Some would say for obvious reasons.)  There is some safety however in laboring in relative obscurity and corresponding anonymity, since the occasional creative failures can escape mostly unnoticed and in six years I have only been recognized on the street once as 'that smoking guy'. 

This is not to say that as someone purporting to be a writer, I don't like to be read.  In such situations, more is always better.  I am content however (actually, I'm shocked) to discover that there are still people out there who feel these efforts are of value ... or capable of garnering an occasional laugh.  As for notoriety, the relatively few times in my life that I gained even a sliver of the spotlight have normally proved personally dangerous and were usually followed by massive bouts of unjustified egotism followed by unintentional and very public commissions of social suicide. 

Even the few of you have shown yourselves sadly in need of proper training in good internet manners, based on the comments that you've submitted (most of which have needed to be moderated out to preserve the last shred of good taste remaining here) have been amusing in a rather perverse way.  As for the isolated threats of bodily harm offered by those who I must assume are even more twisted than I am; while I make no claims to personal bravery, I am nevertheless prepared to meet you on the 'Internet Field of Honor' and suggest that you have your seconds get in touch with my seconds. (If my seconds aren't available, contact my thirds.  If my thirds can't be found, let's have our fourths do lunch.  If even that doesn't work, would you consider splitting a fifth?)    

So on behalf of the lazy lexicographers of the SOS Dictionary, the twisted surveillance exploits of the Department of Just Blowing Smoke Security, the inconsistent efforts of the Senior Editorial Staff, and myself (Who said that there's no advantage to multiple personality disorder?) I would like to thank each and every one of you who continues to find the twisted nonsense, malodorous tripe, and recklessly produced natural fertilizer on this site worth losing a bit of time in your lives that you'll never get back.  

But enough of such pointless verbosity (you get enough of that from a normal effort).  Until early onset senility takes over the mostly empty space between my ears, my intention is to continue attempting to crank out at least two mostly useless and probably tasteless efforts per week.  The hope is that while sifting through the dross may be a bit of work, somewhere between the 'Infinite Monkey Theorem' and the 'Blind Squirrel Theory' you will occasionally discover something worthy of your consideration.

Who knows, in a year from now we may all be able to look back on this and say (as I'm sure my ex-spouses did) ... "Man, it's only been seven years.  It seemed like a lot longer."

deatach dóibh má tá tú bhí orthu  

(smoke 'em if you've got 'em)

Happy 5th Anniversary Just Blowing Smoke

It was on this date back in 2007 (the second date that will no doubt "live in infamy") that the first post appeared on this site from some writing efforts that I had been playing with in another venue.  I had been a long time away from writing anything more interesting than technical manuals and more meaningful than some brochure copy, so many of the early efforts were crude at best.  (Many say that my efforts often still resemble such pinnacles of literature.)

Now some five years later, I'm not sure that the writing has improved much; but the nature of the blog has certainly ... evolved (I was going to say 'matured', but we all know that such a term seldom if ever applies to JBS, and never to me). Here we are however, with well over 900 posts (some of them links to the over 100 efforts for the TFP), and having received over 34,000 pageviews in its lifetime, for some unaccountable reason "Just Blowing Smoke" yet remains.  

In fact, while this site averaged 700-800 pageviews per month for much of its history, it now unaccountably sees well over 3,000 for each lunar cycle lately.  It has even been getting some of that attention from places as far from Toledo, Ohio (where it began) and Mission, Kansas (where it's now produced) as Russia, China, Germany, Ukraine, The United Kingdom, France, The Netherlands, Australia, Indonesia, South Korea, Venezuela, and Brazil (hope I didn't leave anybody important out); no doubt due to a general increase in the amount world lunacy today that I am eternally grateful for.     

In the Internet world, such numbers still mean that "Just Blowing Smoke" isn't one of the most popular sites on the web, efforts in it usually draw little if any attention in the larger world, and I am seldom 'called out' on the mainstream media (though there was a TFP effort of mine was once read by Glenn Beck on his syndicated radio show a couple of years ago).  It can therefore truthfully be said that even after five years (which sometimes seem like decades), I labor in relative obscurity and corresponding anonymity.  

While anyone who writes likes to be read, I am content however (actually, I'm shocked) that there are still people out there who feel these efforts are of value ... or garner an occasional laugh.  As for notoriety, the relatively few times in my life that I gained even a sliver of the spotlight have normally proved personally dangerous; and were usually those followed by massive bouts of egotism, followed by unintentional and very public commissions of social suicide. 

Which reminds me that the real purpose of pointing any of this out is to thank each and every one of you who continue to find the nonsense, tripe, and recklessly produced natural fertilizer contained on this site worth losing a bit of time in your lives that you'll never get back.  Since JBS is not the kind of site which assembles important news items, is not contributed to by nationally recognized pundits, or has received stacks of awards (or even one for that matter); I am eternally grateful that anyone deems these often twisted efforts worthy of a Google search (even though I'm sure most of you, in a form of electronic hand sanitizing, delete your browser history  soon afterward).  

Even the few of you have shown yourselves sadly in need of proper training in good internet manners, based on the comments that you've submitted (most of which have needed to be moderated out to preserve the last shred of good taste remaining here) have been amusing in a rather perverse way.  As for the isolated threats of bodily harm offered by those who I must assume are even more twisted than I am; while I make no claims to personal bravery, I am nevertheless prepared to meet you on the 'Internet Field of Honor' and suggest that you have your seconds get in touch with my seconds. (If my seconds aren't available, contact my thirds.  If my thirds can't be found, let's have our fourths do lunch.)    

Since I have been credited with the attention span of a gnat and organizational skills normally reserved for director of FEMA, I sometimes wonder lately however if five years of these efforts may have been too many.  Since JBS has become a rather time-consuming hobby, and in spite of the enjoyment that it at least brings me, I can't help but wonder at times if I've over-stayed my welcome and all of this perhaps should end.  Perhaps I've said enough (or as is more likely the case, far too much), and it's time to move on to other things.  I must admit that concerns over merely repeating myself or beating the drum until those around me are tired of the awful din do occur to me, and will not be easily set aside.

But enough of such maudlin thoughts.  After all, an anniversary is a happy occasion cause for celebration.  While attempting to make a long-term decision as to the fate of JBS therefore, my intention is to continue attempting to crank out at least two mostly useless and probably tasteless efforts per week, with the hope that the 'blind squirrel theory' will occasionally produce something worthy of your consideration.

Who knows, five years from now we may all be able to look back on this and say ... "Man, it's only been five years.  It sure seemed like a lot longer."

Meanwhile, somebody cut that cake and let's toast each other's health until we all get stinkin'.     

deatach dóibh má tá tú bhí orthu  
(smoke 'em if you've got 'em)

 

The Irish Anniversary

Having my daughter and her family come to visit the City of Fountains was indeed a joy, and reminded my of a time only eight short years ago when that family was just beginning.  It was a time when my rather self-willed youngest offspring decided that she needed to get married in Ireland. It didn't seem to matter at the time that she had just been married just a few weeks earlier in New York City.  Of great concern however, was the idea that her father was going to visit Ireland without her.  The next thing that we knew, the game was afoot. 

As if making a wedding come off in a foreign country were not daunting enough of a challenge for any young couple (thank goodness for her wedding planner), this turned out to be the weekend of the big Northeast blackout.  Each of us was stranded in their respective airport, with all of us losing a day of travel when power failed from NY to Cleveland.  I have been told that there is no more pitiful sight than that of a young lady sitting on her luggage in an airline terminal, clutching her wedding dress, and sobbing uncontrollably.  (And I would tend to agree, since it certainly sounded that way as I listened to her on the phone that evening.)

Somehow however, not only did we all make it across the pond; but everyone managed to make it to the ceremony on time as well.  This in spite of the fact that there were a few other responsibilities and ceremonies to be dealt with that weekend.  The ceremony itself was held at Newtowne Castle just southwest of Ballyvaughan in County Clare, with the reception at the Ballinalacken Castle Hotel in Doolin (following the traditional visit by the wedding party to the local pub, of course).  It was an astonishingly beautiful day and ceremony, with fine clear weather not being the only thing about it that was rather extraordinary. (Other extraordinary parts of the story we were only to find out years later, which is a tale for another day.)  

Since today is the anniversary of that day back in 2003, I decided to drag out a few of the pictures from that rather magical event.  Since few of you were able to celebrate this blessed event with the family and friends that made the journey (a circumstance which no doubt saved me more than a bit on the bar tab), I decided to put up a few of these memories (in no particular order) on Just Blowing Smoke to commemorate the 8th Irish anniversary of Jim and Laura Demaria.   

Happy Anniversary Jim and Laura, and as the Irish toast goes:

May the road rise up to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the sun shine warm upon your face
And the rain fall soft upon your fields
And until we meet again
May God hold you in the palm of His hand
And may you live in peace and freedom

 

Happy Anniversary Just Blowing Smoke

Isn't typical that a man will forget anniversaries? Why they even have a cell phone commercial popularizing this fact these days. I find it amazing though, that the fourth anniversary of "Just Blowing Smoke" managed to slip past without my notice. 


The fact that this particular form of madness has been going on now since June 14, 2007 is almost as amazing to me as my own lack of recollection concerning it. (Of course, there are days when I desperately try to forget that I'm to blame for it, but that's a tale for another day.) I am likewise fast approaching another milestone, that of having written 750 posts (and quick little posts like this one will make that come even sooner). 


With all of the smoke that I have blown in the last four years, it's a wonder that I don't have Al Gore sitting on my doorstep trying to tell sell me carbon credits; or the EPA attempting to shut me down for the pollution that I've caused in the intervening period. 


While blogging is in most cases a selfish habit, I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of you who have chosen to share this sometimes rather twisted journey with me. While often enjoying a fine cigar while doing so, I hope to continue trying to entertain and enlighten (in my own small way) those who continue to read and participate in what sometimes seems little more than a never-ending stream of absurdity, bombast, and drivel. I would say more, but I'm suddenly feeling in the mood to celebrate. So in honor of this occasion, I can say only one thing:

deatach dóibh má tá tú bhí orthu (smoke 'em if you've got 'em)

Jim & Laura's Anniversary

 It has been six years now since we made our way back to the fair land of Ireland for a second celebration of the marriage of my daughter Laura to her husband, Jim Demaria. For my recently acquired in-laws, this trip would be the first back to Ireland for Jim's mother since she left to come to America, and would be her husband's trip ever to her homeland.

 
The entire trip was in fact inspired by the fact that I had been invited by a friend and former boss, Michael McGeady, to his family reunion in Letterkenny near Mt Errigal, in the northern end of the island. 

The entire trip was an adventure, as this weekend (for those of you who remember that far back) was the weekend of the great Northeaster blackout. As a consequence, we who were flying out of Cleveland thru Newark, and my daughter and son-in-law, who were leaving out of Kennedy, both found ourselves trapped at our respective departing airports and unable to depart. (And let me tell you, the sound of your daughter sitting in a dark airport, crying on the wedding dress that she is carrying is enough to bring down the strongest man.)

Losing a precious day on a short trip, all eventually made it over the ocean, and while the kids were beginning their preparations, we were celebrating the glories of the McGeady clan in typical Irish fashion (no, not drinking tea ... that's English). Surviving the festivities (and in my case, barely avoiding being raffled off to an unmarried female McGeady), we made our way down the west coast of the island. Briefly stopping in Cong the home of Ashford Castle and the area where John Ford movie "The Quiet Man" starring John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara was filmed, we made it to Lisdoonvarna and Ballilaken Castle barely in time for the rehearsal dinner.

The following day dawned clear and bright clear and the departure to Newtowne Castle for the ceremony was right on time. The ceremony of course was beautiful, Father Joe did an amazing job (more amazing than we realized at the time, but that's a tale for another day), and the incredible shot that you see above was itself worth all of the craziness involved with the trip. 

Irish tradition determines that the journey to the reception must begin with a stop at the pub (big surprise, huh?), which we duly did. (The amusing scramble to produce enough euros to cover the tab was made only more ridiculous by discovering that they took Visa.)

The reception was amazing as well, and since we had booked all of the rooms in the hotel at Ballilaken Castle, they turned the place (and the pub) over to us for the evening. And when the weary bartenders finally decided that they had had enough, they turned the keys to the pub over to me with instructions to keep track of the drinks, lock up when we were finished, and leave the keys at the podium near the front door.

While this is not the anniversary that this wonderful couple celebrates (at least to my knowledge) it is certainly an event that I will remember all of my days. Congratulations kids, you have done well indeed and are truly blessed to have each other. And perhaps one day we will all get to return, this time taking young Maggie with us to introduce her to that magical place of your "other anniversary", the Emerald Isle.

Happy 2nd Anniversary

"Today, June 14th, is a day that will live in infamy."  

Sorry to paraphrase a line from the speech the FDR gave when asking for the declaration of war against Japan on December 7, 1941; but I couldn't help myself as I contemplated the fact that this is the 2nd anniversary of the the first post on "Just Blowing Smoke" blog site. 

That so much time has passed seems unbelievable to me. Sometimes it seems as though this only began yesterday, while at others it feels as if I have been doing this forever (though the latter feeling usually only occurs when I find myself once again at a loss for an original idea). With over 380 postings under my belt now and just over 30 columns for the Toledo Free Press besides, it has proved to be far more writing work than I ever would have envisioned. 

The experience has certainly been an interesting one however, as the efforts have provided me with the opportunity for me to share some my own wit (OK, half-wit), wisdom (don't say it), and quirky view of the world with many of you out there. It has also allowed me to meet some wonderful, intelligent, and fascinating people as well; both in person and online (though the 3 Amigos appear to be about to graduate from online to in person). 

It has even provided me an opportunity that I never would have hoped for or expected, in introducing me to Michael Miller and Tom Pounds at the Toledo Free Press. The faith that they have place in me has permitted me to expand my audience and challenge myself further as a writer, and I will be eternally grateful for their continued support. 

Mostly however, writing on this blog has simply been a lot of fun, and something which I hope to be doing for many years to come. (For those of you who thought this might be my farewell posting, I can only say sorry.) I would therefore like to thank you to all of you who have shared this rather twisted journey with me. And for the many out there who have not (or at least, have not yet), I can only say ... oh why bother, they won't see this anyway.  

Now that I think about it, you would think that with all smoke that I've blown over the last two years that the view would be all but obscured by now (Hmmm, I wonder what my carbon footprint is?). So let me quit while I'm behind and close with a thought from the posting that I shared on the first anniversary of this blog. It is from one of my favorite writers Robert Heinlein, and still seems strangely appropriate.

 "Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterward." 

Happy Anniversay

I was looking at the calendar and realized that it has been exactly one year since I began committing this rather bizarre form of social suicide by submitting my written examples of random nonsense for your approval (I'll bet it seems like a lot longer to most of you). While I know that most of you continue to read these misguided efforts in a act of misplaced sympathy for this Village Idiot in Training, I appreciate it none the less.

For me, doing a blog has been both a treat and an inexpensive form of therapy. It has provided me with a venue to rattle on intermittably without noticably boring my friends and co-workers. It has provided me with a soapbox on which to stand and rail against the evils of society. It has provided me with a place to sit back and laugh at the human condition in general and myself in particular. It has even provided me with the chance to meet some very bright and intelligent people, both personally and through their comments. (Hell, it even got my picture in the Toledo Free Press.)

All of this has not come without a little fear and trepidation. While there are important issues out there that must be talked about and the blogosphere is a tremendous outlet for discussion and discernment, there are abuses of this medium going on out there. Lies, hate speech, and stupidity on a grand scale are out here as well, and attacks on bloggers in and out of the blogosphere are not unknown. Being a blogger who does not use a pen name could especially open me up to criticism or attack. I have to say that I have been treated universally well however, both by those who agree and disagree with me. Perhaps this is because much like the variety available on cable television, if you don't like what you see, you change the channel. Even when I do hear a dissenting opinion from those with divergent points of view and agendas from time to time, reasoned discussion usually occurs. I would suggest therefore, that most out here make an honest effort to supply useful information or educated and considered opinion. (For those of you now thinking that I fit into neither category, shame on you. While you are probably right, it's not nice to pick on a guy on his anniversary.)

Likewise I am grateful for the constant and regular exercise of my limited writing ability and the challenge to my creativity that this endeavor has pressed upon me. Even I can see some improvement as I look back over the last 52 weeks of effort (not that it would have taken much), and I am hoping that this will pay off as I attempt to work on some of the short story and novel ideas that have been rattling around my hard drive for some time now. They say that a person can never have too many sources of income, and it is my hopes that there are a few sheckles with my name on them out there as a reward for telling a good story. At the very least, such efforts should continue the improvements to the entries I make on this blog site as I go forward.

Now just so you think that I am not trying to make this posting all about me, let me tell you that I'm not the only one celebrating an anniversary of one kind or another this month. June is a big birthday month in the Higgins clan. I have a son who just turned 31 on the 7th, an Irish twin of a sister whose age is now the same as mine for just over a month (having turned so on the 9th), a new great niece that was born on the 10th, a grandson who will reach the ripe old age of 9 in just a couple of days on the 16th, a niece who adds another year while serving her country in the Army on the 19th, and a brother who would have turned 55 on the 30th. 

July and August are also months filled with birthdays and anniversaries involving sons and daughters with special days in both categories. I can only assume that long, cold Midwestern winters had something to do with this over the years, but that's just me. If nothing else however, these events ought to keep Hallmark in business another month or two.

Adding to this, I discovered the fact that there's a far more auspicious anniversary than my paltry 1st out there. Bushmills is celebrating their 400th anniversary, having been officially licensed by the British crown in 1608 by King James I (though it is believed that the English troops of King henry II enjoyed this product some 400 years earlier). Having sampled a more than a few glasses of fine Irish whiskey from these guys over the years, I can assure you that 800 years of practice in the distillers art has not been wasted.

So thanks for sharing the journey with me this last year. And as I take up my trusty keyboard to begin another year, I am reminded of the immortal words of one of my favorite authors, Robert Heinlein:
 
"Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards."

Has anybody out there got some hand sanitizer?