Sunday, July 1, 2012

Taking A Holiday

Contrary to popular belief, this isn't how I type
I was torn about how to go about telling the rather twisted, but exceptionally loyal readership of "Just Blowing Smoke" that the editorial staff of this blog recently voted unanimously to take the entire month of July off (especially since it's seldom that any two of them agree on anything).  

Not that it's particularly surprising to me that this group would vote itself a month long holiday, but that's only because I know what slackers they can be when they set their minds to it.  This is the United States of America however (It is, isn't it?), so taking the advice of friends and advisers, I put my foot down (very gently, as I remember) and told them that we needed to limit their shenanigans to a two week period.    

Even at that, my greatest concern with such a break was over having to unlock both the attic Command Center of the Department of Just Blowing Smoke Security, and the smaller room in which the lexicographers of the "SOS Dictionary" work with quill and parchment. The ramifications of such an event were so grave that I even seriously considered issuing a 'Terror Alert' without the permission of the DJBSS, knowing the damage that could be realized by turning these hooligans loose on a largely unsuspecting public (not to mention the potential legal actions).  In the end, a decision was made not to issue such an alert, figuring that like Adam Sandler movies, the public-at-large usually gets what it deserves.  We have collected all available liquid assets however (no, not the booze, but the few coins lying about in the sofa cushions), in case we need bail money.

I did want to make sure that we set a specific time frame for this holiday, in the hopes that we wouldn't lose those of you who have been loyally following this site for some time now.  So as we take a break here beginning with July 1st, a return to what constitutes a normal schedule (a word I always hesitate to use regarding this blog) will occur with a new posting on Wednesday, July 18th.  During the interim, one can only hope that the staff manages to recharge their batteries, stay out of jail, and rediscover some of the very limited talent and writing ability that they once had (skills which have diminished significantly since the last such break).  If nothing else, they will hopefully return with a greater enthusiasm than they appear to be exhibiting lately. (No matter how hard we tried, we never seemed to get the staff to buy into "the beatings will continue until morale improves" program that we instituted.)

Knowing this group, it's unlikely that they would have been able to take the entire month off anyway, and that they will gladly return in a couple of weeks; broke, hung over, and grateful to return to the safety of their respective enclaves.  It's possible however that while even this brief holiday lasts, some subject will come up that demands a timely response.  Since I myself don't expect to be leaving headquarters during this period (are you kidding, with that mob out there), I may try to cobble something together on my own in such an event (such efforts normally producing a great deal of amusement for the rest of the staff); so feel free to check in from time to time during this couple of weeks. 

In the meantime, I hope that you find enjoyable pursuits (but not too enjoyable) to substitute for this regrettable but necessary absence.  The smoking lamp is now officially lit, so smoke 'em if you got 'em.


Judy said...

Sorry, I just have to "Curb My Enthusiasm" as I wait for the smoke to clear!

Timothy W Higgins said...

I never managed to become a fan of that show Judy, but I wouldn't wait until the smoke clears before locking my doors and windows. The attic door has been unlocked and the DJBSS is officially on the loose.