Ban Halloween!

How long will it be before a government bent on domination of personal behavior and convinced of the need to protect us from our inability to make good choices for ourselves or our children, ends Halloween as a detriment to public health? How long before the religious implications of the holiday (both Christian and pagan) force this holiday off of school calendars and city observances? How long will the government permit the handing out out high sugar treats to our obese young people as a reward for already tragically bad behavior? 

Far-fetched you say. Well, last year Belleville, IL banned trick or treating for teenagers, apparently to protect residents from these unruly youth. The New York City education department has recently passed a school regulation banning fund raising through bake sales for such sugary treats as cupcakes in order to protect our obese children from the temptation to indulge in such calorically challenging goods. Mayor Bloomberg and his health commissioner Thomas Freiden have separately called for a tax on soda with sugar in it. The Ft Worth Independent School District banned Halloween costumes at football games played that weekend. Dunkard Township in Pennsylvania (near Pittsburgh) has in fact banned Trick or Treating completely, choosing instead to hold a party at a local fire station. 

Now for those of you thinking that we don't need to ban the holiday, but only the type of treats passed out, think again. Justify this conclusion based on the concept that popcorn balls, apples, or fruits and vegetables of some kind might substitute for these sweet treats if you can; but keep in mind the X-ray machines operating in hospitals on Halloween to insure a lack of metal in the goody bags. Watch as parents throw away anything that children bring home that is not hermetically enclosed in its original factory-sealed wrapper. 

No, unless we are talking about the limited selection of pre-packed and dried foods (yeah, I got those little boxes of raisins when I was a kid too), there is little to qualify in this regard. Besides, think of the economic impact to candy companies that could well be considered "too big to fail". You know come to think of it, the only advantage that I can see to this holiday in the eyes of an increasingly intrusive progressive government is that it rewards the behavior of public dependency, better known as begging (something that it increasingly appears that they support). 

The only up side to Halloween behavior is that people (well young people anyway) are trained by this holiday to demand a reward for no other reason than looking like something other than themselves under threat of dire consequences if such reward is not delivered. As for those of an opposite political view, the practice of Halloween Trick or Treating might be viewed by those on the political right as a continuing reinforcement of a system of government behavior modification, intent on creating a dependent society. 

While they may have something on the whole government dependency part, I'm not sure that Halloween is as guilty as a national legislature that sees the continuance of its own privilege being dependent on the handing out of 'treats' to the voting public year round (and without the costumes). Either way you look at it however, the behavior of young people dressing in costume and parading around neighborhood streets in search of mischief or chocolate confections one night a year seems doomed. 

No matter which point of view you take on the subject or where you stand in the political spectrum, it seems that whoever is in control will eventually have to ban Halloween as an abhorrent practice. (If the arguments presented here do not convince government to close down this despicable practice, perhaps the picture above certainly should.)
 

TFP Column: Halloween Costumes 2009

 
As those of you who follow "Just Blowing Smoke" know, every year around this time I publish a list of humorous Halloween costumes with a slightly political slant. (OK, I find them kind of funny anyway.) 

This year, I decided to try something just a bit different. There will in fact be a posting on Halloween tomorrow, but my costume list this year will instead be my column for the Toledo Free Press. It is something that Michael Miller and I have talked about from time to time, and this year he gave in to me on it (probably in order to make me quit badgering him). 

This is one of the annual efforts that I most look forward to and I hope you enjoy it as well. As always, there is much more of far greater worth in every Toledo Free Press; and with this being the edition before the November election, even more so. 

So tomorrow when you are sitting next to the candy bowl and attempting to find excuses not to dip into it while waiting for those cute little kids to show up on your doorstep (or the mean little buggers that always show up at Casa de la Higgins), keep your copy of the TFP handy to occupy both your mind and your hands. Your waistline will thank you.

Issue 2: The Coward's Choice

On the ballot this year in Ohio is Issue 2, "To Create the Ohio Livestock Care Standards Board to establish and implement standards of care for livestock and poultry.
 
For many of you this might be a bit confusing, since it appears that there has never been a problem in the state of Ohio with the mistreatment of livestock and poultry, and since Ohio is evidently an exemplary state both in the quality of the treatment of its livestock and the quality of the meat produced. It may likewise seem confusing, since such treatment can should already be handled in the state under the province of the Department of Agriculture. 

We are being told however, that this additional bureaucracy is the only way to protect Ohio farmers from the intrusion of the Humane Society of the United States (no relation to your local Humane Society) from lobbying for even stricter control and legislation. 

To me this appears to be a Hobson's choice. I say this because the choice presented is one between creating unneeded state bureaucracy and legislation ourselves, or waiting to see if it is forced on us from an extremely activist animal rights group from the outside. This is like telling someone that you will not allow them to shove you off of the cliff, you will jump instead. 

This is a coward's choice. We do not need more legislation, more regulation, and more government in Ohio at a time when the cost of state government is already too high. We do not need to create another level of appointed bureaucracy in this state to legislate and regulate without the knowledge or consent of the voters. We especially do not need to cave in to the threats of outsiders and animal activist groups to correct a problem that doesn't exist. 

Let Ohio instead turn down an increase of the intrusion of government in yet another part of our lives. Let Ohio stand up for less government and less regulation. Let Ohio not add something fundamentally flawed to its state Constitution. 

And if HSUS chooses to come to our state at some future date in a misguided attempt to push this pointless nonsense upon us, I say "take your best shot, you self-loathing freaks". We will fight to you to the last man and with our last breath rather than make this Coward's Choice. 

Health Care Quote

Well, the combined Congressional Health Care bill is out, to the tune of just under 2000 pages. There is so much that I would like to say about this odious piece of legislation, but right now I am simply dumbfounded by the carbon footprint of printing it out, let alone the time and effort of reading it. While I am sure that I will have more to say on the subject after I have done so, I wanted to at least say something. Here it is:  

"If this is the future of health care in America, I fear that my long term plans to deal with personal illness will fall under much the same category as that of many southern states when dealing with snowfall. God put it here, and He can take it away." 

Issue 3: The Best Law Money Can Buy

I listened with great interest when representatives of Penn National were interviewed on Monday on Brian Wilson's show on 1370 WSPD AM. Because I have been rather vocal on the subject, writing columns on the subject for The Toledo Free Press, calling in on WSPD, and commenting on some of the local blogs; I wanted to make sure that I had the facts straight and understood the issue before election day. I was also curious to hear what those most desiring this Issue's passage had to say on the subject. 

I urge you to follow this link to a podcast of this interview on the WSPD website. I attempted to listen with an open mind, and here is what I got from the interview.

• Yes passage of this issue will provide Penn National with a monopoly on casino gambling, but only in Columbus, Cleveland, Cincinnati, and Toledo (three of these probably being the best markets in the state).
• Anyone else who wants a casino can build one, but not in these four cities. They have only to approach the state legislature to build one in another city like Dayton or Youngstown however.
• These casinos will bring money and employment wherever they go, with jobs galore and tax revenues to help bailout the budgeting process in every bloated city government where they will be (for those of you not paying attention, this is sarcasm).
• Additional money will get funneled to the state, which likewise still shows no sign of realistic budgeting. Gambling will therefore help to prop up their equally inflated spending practices.
• Local contractors will be used and a "fair wage" will be paid to all workers. This is what is commonly known as a sop to Democratic, heavily unionized jurisdictions to insure either their silence or their active cooperation through jobs at union scale.

The bottom line here is that sure, this issue will create a constitutional monopoly on gambling in these four cities, but doing so is OK because Penn National has put so much effort and money into getting the issue on the ballot, let alone passed. In other words, a bad law is OK in their book as long as it is properly bought and paid for. (This, for those of you who have not read their history, is the way the the railroads were built to join east to west in this country during the 19th Century. This was not particularly one of this country's shining hours.) 

Issue 3 may not be the best law for providing casino gambling in Ohio, but there is little doubt when listening to those who would benefit most from it, that it is "The Best Law Money Can Buy". 
 

Quote of the Day

I received this as a forwarded email message, and thought that it was definitely worth sharing with you. As the story goes, this was a contest winner from Texas A and M University at coming up with the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term.  

"Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end." 

Fractured Fairy Tale: The Watchdog

Yes boys and girls, I know that it's been a while, but fear not, for it's time for another Fractured Fairy Tale. Time once again for one of those cautionary tales of life and politics in this crazy, mixed up world around us. Much like the first fairy tale that I wrote for this blog, this one is an original, if cautionary tale of "what if" that may very well soon become a "what now". I hope you enjoy it. 


Once upon a time there lived a man named John Q. Public. There was nothing at all remarkable about Mr. Public. John (and I'm sure he'd let us call him that) did have one thing that set him apart however, it was his watchdog. 


 Now this dog was not really owned by John in the strictest sense of the word, as he had never actually purchased it. The truth of the matter was that he had simply started feeding this dog upon discovering it, eventually naming the animal Newspaper. 


Newspaper, liking the attention that he got from John (and more especially the feeding), adopted John Q Public as its master, and was soon performing the duties of watchdog where John was concerned. Now Newspaper was never the most attractive of dogs, though occasionally he cleaned up rather well. Neither was he particularly well-behaved, sometimes serving his own or the needs of others as well as those of his master. 


Newspaper was in fact an often ill-tempered mutt, treating John with measured disdain (much like a cat, come to think of it). In fact if anything, Newspaper behaved more like a junk yard dog than anything else; good enough at being a watchdog, but just as likely to bite the hand that fed it as it was to snap at that of strangers and villains. 


Time passed, and Newspaper had been around for some time. Some had begun to say that he was getting a bit long in the tooth (if you know what I mean), and no longer able to hold up his end of the bargain. John of course, was no youngster either, though he often acted like one. Quite frankly, he was reaching that age where one begins to think about turning things over to the next generation, and if the truth were known they didn't much care for his watchdog. 


Much like the wayward child that he had become, John had begun to pay less attention to the care and feeding of his long-time adopted pet. This treatment did nothing good for the health and well being of his watchdog, and as a consequence it began to look even thinner and shabbier than usual. 


As time passed, an almost starving Newspaper began to become a bit resentful of this treatment. It howled at its sorry lot in life and tended to snap at anyone who came near it. While never completely leaving off at its watchdog post, even Newspaper had to admit that it wasn't doing the job that it once did. 


Now one day, one of the worst of the miscreants that this watchdog had kept at bay crept forward once again to work his mischief. This ill-mannered neighborhood bully had been hanging around for years, often trying to do ill to Mr Public; but with Newspaper on the job, he was never really able to succeed. 


This nefarious individual (let's call him Government) was well known as one of the worst of criminals. A strong-armed thief who was often known to take money at the point of a gun, a loan shark who lent money that always had strings attached, and a bully who loved to throw his weight around in the neighborhood; Government was most well known for his operation of a massive protection racket and for running the biggest Ponzi scheme that had ever been seen. In other words, Government was a pretty nasty guy.


With the lack of attention from his adopted owner and a hunger that was soon bordering on starvation, Newspaper finally started sniffing around at the treats that had been dangled for years in the outstretched hand of Government. Knowing that continued refusal of these morsels might portend the end of its days (while perhaps scarcely realizing that accepting them could do likewise), this watchdog began to whimper over the potential of such offered nourishment. 


Long at the service of its adoptive master John Q Public, Newspaper didn't know what else to do if he was to survive to continue in his duties. While still somewhat loyal to his master's needs, Newspaper was equally interested in his own survival. And so there we see them, much like the scene of Kevin Costner extending a bit of jerky to the wolf 'Two Socks' in "Dancing With Wolves". Government now carefully extends the hand of potential survival to Newspaper, and this once faithful watchdog creeps ever closer to accepting it.

THE END

I know, I know, this is one hell of a way to end a Fairy Tale. The truth of the matter is we don't know the end of this story yet. Quite frankly, the fate of Newspaper, Government, and John Q Public are hanging in the balance right now. If this self-appointed watchdog of our freedoms begins to accept anything from government, there is little doubt that it will be unable to properly perform this long-held function in the future. If it doesn't however, there is real doubt that this watchdog may be around much longer. For good or ill, the end of this tale has yet to be written. For newspapers, for government, but especially for the Public; these are perilous times indeed!

Refugee Relief?

For those of you who hadn't noticed, $20.3 million dollars of immigration aid has been quietly appropriated by Congress and signed by President Obama in House Bill 1388 way back on January 27, 2009. Sailing under the radar of discussion on Stimulus Packages, Bailouts, Cap and Trade, and Health Care Reform going on in this country; this seemingly paltry sum has been allocated for use under executive order without fanfare. 

Now I know that $20 million seems like nothing these days when billions of dollars are tossed about like coins in a fountain , but this one caught my attention because it is to be used for "migration assistance" of people from Gaza. 

Now let's be clear here. Gaza has not been a tourist destination for some time now, and anyone wanting to get out of there probably has their head on straight. That being said, at this time of rampant unemployment, soaring government debt, and an economy that's in the tank, is it really time to be paying people to come to this country? 

In light of some of the recently foiled terrorist plots admitted to in this country, I likewise have to ask myself if this is the right time to use government funds to provide refugees with airline tickets and food and housing support to do so; knowing that many of these people may well have ties to Hamas. 

Don't get me wrong. I understand the desire of someone to leave such a troubled area in the hopes of a better life in the US. I am also sure that they will find one in this country (we don't have nearly as many mortar and missile attacks as they do in Gaza) I simply don't understand how our government, in the midst of transition and with all of the crises that it was facing at the time, could place this at the top of their list in January when so many other things could have and should have been there.

Master of None

My recent recovery process has given me ample time to pause for reflection, which is something that I have discovered can be a truly frightening experience. You see, there were so many things that I wanted to do and to be in my life, and I fear that I never made it. 

I wanted to be a musician at one point in my life, and was even in a couple of bands as a young man. I quickly realized however how tough a business that this could be, and that my musical abilities were nowhere near those of many people that I knew then and now. 

I wanted to be a radio personality like Larry Lujack on WLS AM radio in Chicago when I was growing up, or like many of the talk radio personalities that I hear today both locally and nationally. I have even been given a shot to do so here in Toledo a couple of time on 1370 WSPD. I can't say that I find any real talent or ability in myself for this profession though. It's a lot of fun, very hard work, and probably something that I shouldn't be allowed to do very often. 

I seriously considered becoming a professional student, and maybe even a professor. I discovered however that the life of academia was far more rigid than the worst of trade unions. Far too little original thought is generated, and far too much regurgitation of tired ideas is treated as knowledge. I soon realized that I had neither the patience nor the temper to deal with this hide-bound existence and moved on. 

I hoped to become a captain of industry by making my way in the world through production or sales. I have spent a number of years doing it and had a fair amount of successes both in working with people and in sales, but realize now that I am neither intuitive enough nor enough of a bastard to rise to the top of the capitalistic pyramid. 

I hoped at one time in my life to be a civic leader, and perhaps even run for minor office. I discovered however that while I like people on an individual basis, I find them often mean, lazy, and hard to deal with in large groups. I also discovered that I had trouble not telling them so. This lack of inhibition, along with some rather ugly scars of life's battles that I have accumulated make me unsuitable as a political candidate and probably even more so as a potential leader. 

I desperately hoped to become a writer, having become enamored of literature and addicted to putting things on paper in my youth. As this blog, a few letters to the editors to local papers and USA Today, the columns that have been published in the Toledo Free Press, and the effort of my still unpublished novel attest; I have certainly given it a try. 

I fear however that I will never be compared with the great novelists, the great columnists, or even the best bloggers of the world. It's not that I do a bad job, it's just that I don't rise to the level of my betters in these efforts. I have decided in my recent reflections that this is going to be OK with me. The lack of true talent, short attention span, and lack of initiative that I have illustrated with my life to date has probably always kept me from being able to do one thing well enough to rise to the top of a profession. 

I have discovered however, that I do have a little ability in each of these fields and that each of them as been a rewarding pursuit. I guess therefore, that I am the living example of the expression "jack of all trades, master of none". 

TFP Column: Paranoia Indeed

I have once again been honored by having a column printed in the Toledo Free Press. This weekend's effort "Paranoia Indeed", tries to answer some of the very literate, but equally wrong efforts of fellow columnist Don Burnard in that same publication. 

The fact that Tom Pounds and Michael Miller see fit to put such efforts from opposite ends of the political spectrum in this publication speaks volumes of their desire to see at least one level playing field in the media of the city of Toledo. 

As always, there is much more to see and to read in the TFP, and with the prospect of inclement weather for most of the weekend, little excuse not to dive right into it. 
 
(I need to pass on a special thank you this week to Lisa Renee of Glass City Jungle, who fact checks much of what goes in to the TFP and helped me to clarify a part of this week's column.)