Sunday, November 24, 2013

The "Stuck On Stupid" Dictionary #43

Thanksgiving is just a few days away, and perhaps in the hopes of being released from their labors for a four-day weekend, the lazy lexicographers here at the "Stuck On Stupid" Dictionary have released some new entries for this twisted lexicon.  Now this is rather unusual behavior for a staff that normally has to verbally abused, if not physically beaten, to get them to notice such responsibilities.  

One might suspect that beyond their desire for a better venue from which to watch the Macy's parade and the football games, that they've begun to hear rumors of their impending dismissal and are attempting to work their way back into the good graces of Senior Staff. (Little do they know that the Senior Staff will likewise be 'transitioning to new opportunities').  More like however, is that they're looking for time away from Headquarters to try and polish up their resumes before being cast to the winds to seek their own futures.

Regardless of the petty personnel problems associated with the continued literary production here however, it comes to my attention that many of you reading this have somehow managed to miss previous postings on this subject.  (Shame on you, now go back and search all of the postings under the label of  'Dictionary'). 

For those of you even more woefully unfamiliar with this rather twisted reference effort, the SOS Dictionary is a guide to terms which nominally mean something to the rest of the English speaking world, but appears to mean something entirely different when looked at through the jaded eyes and rose colored glasses of the SOS Dictionary staff.

1. Rules included in a City Charter, the Ohio Revised Code, or passed by City Council and/or ratified by the Mayor which apply to the citizens of Toledo, Ohio; but not to the elected officials who voted on them.
(This definition ostensibly applies only within the confines of the Glass City, though it is often marginally modified for use in every city in Ohio, as well as in States across the nation and at Federal levels as well.)

2. Rules written and voted on by legislators at any level of government that have grown increasing incomprehensible and unintelligible to anyone, including those who wrote them, because of their length, their contradictory nature, and their inconsistent enforcement.
(see Regulations)


1. Rules written by unelected bureaucrats at any level of government which carry the force of Law; and which have grown increasing incomprehensible and unintelligible to anyone (including those who wrote them) because of their length, their contradictory nature, and their inconsistent enforcement.

2. Government Rules which can be arbitrarily added to, changed, or removed all together by the bureaucracies which created them (and often profit by them) without the knowledge or permission of the Legislators who originally created these unelected fiefdoms or the citizens whose rights are ultimately infringed upon.
(see Laws)

1. Something that cannot be known or comprehended.

2. Something which is unintelligible, or in the Biblical sense 'passes all understanding'.

3. Most of what goes on in government at every level.

4. Shutting the down "Just Blowing Smoke" website and dismissing all of the 'so-called' lazy lexicographers of the SOS Dictionary at the end of the year.
(This last definition was included without the prior knowledge or permission of the Senior Editors.)

1 comment:

Roland Hansen said...

Sounds like the golden shower of golden rules.
AND, mi amigo, Timothy Higgins RULES forever!