Saturday, September 15, 2012

The "Stuck On Stupid" Dictionary #35

Fall is upon us and the election rhetoric (among other things) is heating up around the world.  While we have slacked off on our program of "the beatings will continue until morale improves" where the staff is concerned, the occasional 'head slap' or 'kick in the slats' continues to be a regular practice in motivating the lazy lexicographers working on the "Stuck on Stupid" dictionary.  

It was a surprise however, to discover that it had been some three months since the most recent entry to this tome of tomfoolery, used to document the misuse of the English language.  For that reason if no other, there will be multiple listings in today's effort.   Senior staff will shortly be receiving a memo to report for their own 'slap and slat' session as well.

For those of you who have somehow managed to miss previous postings in this area (shame on you, now go back and read all of the postings under the label of dictionary), the SOS dictionary is a reference guide to terms which nominally mean something to the rest of the English speaking world, but appear to mean something entirely different when looked at through the jaded eyes and rose colored glasses of the SOS dictionary staff.

Now you would think that an establishment created to store and lend some of the greatest literature in the world (along with some really hideous Barney videos) would have a better grasp of the English language.  Like that organization in its choice of words and acronyms of common parlance, you would apparently be wrong.  While they are not alone in self-abusive articulation, they are first on today's list.


1.  An acronym of common parlance that stands for Shit Outa' Luck, which for those not up on common parlance means that you either had no luck where this situation was concerned, or if you did, you no longer retain it; placing your odds at a successful result in your efforts in the range of dismal.

2. An acronym currently being used by the Toledo Public Library as a marketing slogan in support of their November levy request, and designed to stand for "Save Our Library".

3. The likelihood that that the Library marketing scheme will be remembered, and if remembered, will not be confused with the term of more common parlance.  Its use will probably be sniggered over as an error in judgment at best, and a massive screw up in their levy attempt at worst (see FUBAR).

4.  The likelihood that the Library levy will pass if this is the level of marketing and political savvy possessed by their organization.

Arab Spring

1. A political resistance movement that began in December of 2010, in which oppressive governments in Tunisia, Egypt, Libya, and Yemen were overthrown; and in which civil uprisings continue in Syria and Bahrain in the hope of one day replacing their oppressive regimes. 

2. A political resistance movement which appears to be so important to those involved that it's capable of being side-tracked by Cartoons, YouTube videos, and public statements by people who only their neighbors have heard of before. (And now no doubt, by this definition.)

3. A political resistance movement which has largely succeeded in replacing oppressive secular dictatorships and monarchies in the region with oppressive 'democracies' that act far more like the oppressive theocracies which most foreign policy experts insisted could never take control.

4. A political resistance movement which has been largely supported by pronouncements from the US State Department and funds from US Foreign Aid; and which has been rewarded for such support by the killing of a US Ambassador and three other Americans (so far) and millions in damage to US Embassy property.

5. Yet another of the current Administration's foreign policy nightmares marked by inconsistency and apology, in which the US pays protection money to governments run by thugs and terrorists, with little if anything to show for it's investment other than hate, murder, and destruction.  (The President's former minister Jeremiah Wright once previously called this "America's chickens coming home to roost.)

Since I didn't manage to put together a good weekend rant, and because I can still hear the scribes appropriately scribbling behind their locked door (I have the key); it seems likely that there will be yet another SOS posting before the weekend's over.

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