Sunday, April 17, 2011

The Stuck On Stupid Dictionary #29

You know, Webster had it easy. By the time he got around to compiling his Dictionary, most of the words were already known, as were their definitions. Here at the SOS Dictionary Board, we are not only tirelessly working to keep up with new 'Stuck on Stupid' terminology, but must spend endless hours pouring over reference material in order to attempt to understand what politicians mean with the nonsense that they seem to spout in a fire hydrant-like torrent, twenty-four hours a day. But enough of the staff complaints at 'Just Blowing Smoke', which no one (including myself) pays the slightest bit of attention to. 

Now for those of you who have somehow managed to miss previous postings in this area (shame on you, now go back and read all of the postings under the title of dictionary), the SOS dictionary is a reference guide to terms which nominally mean something to the rest of the English speaking world, but appear to mean something entirely different to those us who have come to understand the often peculiar political vernacular of Toledo and Northwest Ohio.

1. Something that is unusually large, severe, and of cruel intent 
2. A spending cut of $38 billion (less than 2% of the total federal budget), that actually turns out to be $352 million (less than .02%). 
3. Rules or obligations proposed on the sale piece of property owned by the City of Toledo (paid for in cash, by the way) by Toledo's City Council which insist upon specially trained workers doing any work on it (Union workers) and a business plan that none of those Council members would read or could understand if it was produced by the prospective buyers. (Those prospective buyers are now attempting to walk away from the deal as a consequence.)

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