Saturday, December 20, 2008

The Holiday Diet?

I have been thinking about going on a diet this week. I know that it's close to Christmas, and the temptations will be even greater than usual. I know that there are big dinners ahead for both the Christmas and News Years holidays. I also know that there will be more chocolate and other sweets within reach of my lack of will power than at any other time of the year. 

Unfortunately, there have also been a couple of full length mirrors in the hotel rooms that I have been staying in over the last couple of weeks. Without going into detail that might frighten the children and cause the women to faint, I have to tell you that picture reflected in those glass torture devices was frightening on a scale that I have difficulty describing. ("Scale" ... did you catch that clever use of comparative analogy?)

Aside from the pure vanity aspect however, I should point out that my blood pressure is a little high, as is my cholesterol and my blood sugar. My doctor isn't counting me out yet, but she is shaking both her head and her finger at me. If I don't do something soon, my only alternatives will involve medications (none of which contain mood enhancing chemicals dammit).

Just as I was about to embark upon yet one more attempt to lead a healthier lifestyle however, I was stopped in my tracks. Perhaps this was not the best time after all. Perhaps in light of the current financial crisis, I should hold off just a bit longer, while pumping money into the economy through the purchase of mass quantities of snacks with no food value at all. Perhaps, other than my normal lack of will power, there was a more than valid reason to wait before attempting improvement to both my health and appearance. Yes, I will wait just a bit longer before going on the diet that I know is necessary, for while continuing my these bad habits ...

I am too big to fail.

This of course, means that I retain some chance of a government bailout. Heck with Henry Paulson on the job, there is every reason to believe that I might be on a short list. Oh, I'm not really sure that I would take one if offered, but I will never be able to prove that I am above such temptation unless I keep the option open. I guess that the diet will just have to wait until January 20th, when the new team takes the field. So in the meantime, pass the egg nog and the Christmas cookies over here, I'm feeling a bit peckish. 

Have a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hannukah, and safe and prosperous New Year! 

1 comment:

Roland Hansen said...

Back at ya with the seasons greetings.
And we all know about the SEE FOOD diet!