Friday, August 22, 2008

Things That Make You Go Hmmm #4

It's Friday and for no other reason that I am in a particularly inquisitive mood, it's time once again for things that make you go hmmm. I can't help it that like Johnny 5 of "Short Circuit" fame, I have "questions, queries, posers". So once again I'm going to put some of them out there in the hope of gaining additional insight in my life.
  • Can fat people go skinny dipping?
  • Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
  • If Wile E. Coyote had enough money for all of that stuff from Acme, why didn't he just order a take-out meal.
  • If you were in a vehicle going the speed of light, what would happen if you turned on the headlights?
  • If the Universe is everything and the Universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
  • Do fish get cramps from going into the water less than an hour after eating?
  • Why are there five syllables in monosyllabic?
  • If all of the world's a stage, who is the audience and where are they sitting?
  • Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
  • How do you avoid working the graveyard shift at a cemetery?
  • If firefighters fight fires and crime fighter fight crime, what do freedom fighter fight?
I'll be waiting to hear the answers. I know that "the Truth is out there".

7 comments:

Roland Hansen said...

'Hmmm' Responses:

1) Lots of fat people go skinnydipping, and I enjoy their company each and every time.
2) Because the alternative is "no chance in hell."
3) Cuz then the continuing plot line would cease to exist and the toon would have to end.
4) You'd be riding The Light Fantastic!
5) Sounds more like my waist line.
6) Only one: the bloat fish - oh, maybe that's the blow fish - or does that one just blow smoke?
7) In order to be able to pronounce and enunciate the word properly and also to confound us all.
8) I think I saw that one on an old Star Trek episode. The audience was an alien race all attired in dark cloaks.
9) Because the box manufacturers haven't gotten around to it.
10) Be the gate keeper.
11) They fight the "X Files" -- of course.

There is no truth, only our perception of truth, which everyone else tells us is wrong.

Tim Higgins said...

Roland,

I think that you are on to something for the most part here (better you than me), but I have comments on a couple of your answers.

1. Wouldn't that be "fatdipping". No forget it, I don't want to paint the picture as I fit in it.
2. OK
3. Great answer, but it makes too much sense.
5. Having defined myself as "living proof of an expanding economy", I resemble that remark.
6. I want to see a fish blowing smoke underwater!
8. I'm not sure, but I think this makes you a critic, and I don't know where that fits into the question.
9. I got a roudn tuit once, but only once.
10. I'd rather be the keymaster than the gatekeeper. Better still, I'd rather be "Zuul".
11. Wouldn't that make them X-Men?

Hooda Thunkit said...

Tim,

”Can fat people go skinny-dipping?”

Yes, but we don't even want it being brought to our attention...


”Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

The word chance is the key. As with all games of chance, chance means that there is no chance in Hell that you're going to like the outcome..., even when you might actually win.


”If Wile E. Coyote had enough money for all of that stuff from Acme, why didn't he just order a take-out meal.

Have you ever tried to order roadrunner to go?

Just think of the irony of that (roadrunner, to go...) for a minute or two.

Besides, most of the time they'll tell you that the just ran out...


”If you were in a vehicle going the speed of light, what would happen if you turned on the headlights?”

Think about it. You are going at the speed of light, and the light from the headlights is going at the speed of light.

Result: The headlight light is going forward at twice the speed of light and backwards (towards you) at (net) Zero speed.

The lights will work twice as good in front of you, but, you being behind them, you won't notice a thing.

Hence your headlight replacement bills would be horrendous!


”If the Universe is everything and the Universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?”

That's an easy one..., space ;-)


”Do fish get cramps from going into the water less than an hour after eating?”

Only if what they ate stops swimming.

And then, it's not so much cramps as it is an intense feeling of "blockage..."


”Why are there five syllables in monosyllabic?”

So that it would make sense.

How else would you convey the idea of mono-syllablism in words that aren't monosyllabic?

Lots and lots of mono syllables just don't get it (or, er) done.


”If all of the world's a stage, who is the audience and where are they sitting?”

Those schlubs out there sitting in the cheap seats. And, they think that they got a real bargain because we're paying for everything else.


”Why does a round pizza come in a square box?”

Tradition.

Back when I had my 72 Ford (w/police interceptor package) and gas was cheap, that's where the pizza cheese ended up, until I got home and redistributed it (put it back on the pizza, after the transporting was done).


”How do you avoid working the graveyard shift at a cemetery?”

Don't go in at night.

Tell them that you're afraid of the dark.

Sooner or later, they'll see the light; unless they're moving forward a the speed of light and, oh, you know the rest...


”If firefighters fight fires and crime fighter fight crime, what do freedom fighter fight?”

Another easy one, freedom fries.

You just don't realize how many folks still call 'em French fries..., ugh!

Now, answer me this:

If you plug in your new hair drier (the kind with the big, unwieldly GFCI plug on it, into the GFCI equipped bathroom outlet, are you twice as safe?

Then, what if the GFCI outlet is wired into a GFCI breaker in the breaker box; are you three times as safe?

And then, if one of the GFCI breaker trips, which one is it?

Ben said...

"Why does a round pizza come in a square box?"

I would say it fits better.

Tim Higgins said...

HT,

As usual, you are beyond me on almost every one of these questions. Hoodathunkit? :-)

In turn I have an answer to your questions. That answer is:

"What would I be doing with a hair dryer in the first place, mine is less than an inch long?"

Thanks for setting me straight.

Tim Higgins said...

Ben,

The fact that you find that a round pizza fits in a square box better could mean that you are achieving "Amigo Status".

Such status would have to be confirmed by the inestimable HT and RH, but I believe that they would tend to agree.

Ben said...

Good to hear. I think?