Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Rites Of Spring

The 1st day of spring was almost two weeks ago, which means that we have passed the vernal equinox and have begun a new season. Baseball's opening day has already occurred (in Japan anyway), with the rest of the league following soon after. These signs herald what is commonly know as the "Rites of Spring". Something has gone terribly wrong however, and I feel that I am being denied these rites. 

Now I hear a lot of talk about what rights people think that have and deserve. The right to a smoke-free environment, the right to affordable health care, the right to keep their house even if they can't make the payments on their mortgage. Well I have a few rights that I would like to see added to the list at this time of year:
  1. I have the right to not shovel any more snow.
  2. I have the right not to have to warm up my car in the morning to get the ice off of the windows.
  3. I have the right to see a weather forecast without seeing the words "Winter Storm Alert", or temperatures that are below freezing.
  4. I have the right to leave the house without three layers of clothing on.
  5. I have the right to see green on something other than people on St. Patrick's day.
  6. I have the right to put away my winter hats, coats, and gloves.
  7. I have the right to wear tee shirts and golf shirts without freezing my butt off.
  8. I have the right to open the windows of my residence without having to choose whether groceries or paying my heating bill are more important to me.
What was that? The two different spellings have two different meanings? Are you kidding me here? This isn't my fault. I just write this stuff, after all. You can't expect me to spend all of my time with my nose buried in a dictionary doing research on this stuff or something, jeez. OK, sorry I messed up. My bad.  
(Of course I still want all of my rights. I see no reason that some tiny, insignificant mistake like this should change that.)ril 4, 2008  


It appears as though I am getting some of what I have demanded with sunshine and temperatures in the high 50's and low 60's for the weekend. Apparently all you have to do is rear up on your hind legs and bitch about your rights in this country to get what you want (yeh, right...). I may make up list of other things that I want as a right, just in case.

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