I Unlike 'Like'

I find that I am growing increasingly uncomfortable with the word 'Like' these days, and while I know that this was not always the case, it took me some time to recognize that this issue goes back many years. 

For those of you who intend to read on; you must recognize that blog writing (especially my weekend efforts), is a form of therapy for me.  And trust me when I tell you that no one needs weekly therapy sessions more than I do.

I suppose that it began many years ago, during the halcyon days of my youth.  Full of vim, vigor, and a hormonal state that could only be considered balanced by comparing it to the current federal budget; I occasionally found myself in the company of members of the fairer gender.  (This is not a simple as it might appear, especially for someone whose High School days were spent in an all-male establishment for the most part.)  Embarrassed, tongue-tied, and completely unable of coherently expressing myself (a condition into which I far too often relapse, even these many years later), I usually found myself able to stammer out after considerable effort: "You know, I uh, like you." 

Conversationally and emotionally stunted, and apparently without the lyrical ability that is said to be gift of the Irish nature, I was however occasionally able to rise above this stammering foolishness far enough for the occasional:  "No, I mean uh, I uh really like you."  (I know. Most of you are now in shock and amazement at the level of  Shakespearean prose that I was capable of, even at this early age.)  As time went on, eventually I was able to rise to even greater heights, occasionally allowing the word 'Love' to pass my lips (though undoubtedly still not understanding the concept, and probably in the forlorn and doomed hopes of 'getting lucky'); and eventually I managed to almost forget how uncomfortable I was with the word 'Like', though never quite completely.

Years later however, I found myself again confronted with this dreaded word, often in far more precarious circumstances. "Of course I like the bedspread with little purple flowers on it dear", was likely to be found coming out of my mouth with mild aversion, but without conscious effort.  "Certainly I would like to go shopping with you dear; and of course I'd like to stop at the Art Museum afterward to spend hours viewing the traveling exposition of 'Shoe Art' afterward," slipped from my lips with only an occasional grimace or muttered imprecation.  "Yes dear, I really like the way you've fixed this ... what kind of meat is this again?" might also found being spoken around the lower extremity usually found stuck in my pie hole, with the unpleasant taste coming as a combination of the foot, the disingenuous nature of the remark, and the dish in question.  The stammering that usually accompanied such pronouncements usually doomed the attempted domestic tranquility being sought and increased my distress at the use of this word.

Update and Disclaimer:  None of the sentences listed above was ever actually used by me during either of my marriages  ...  No, really.

Just when I thought I had put these troubling and traumatic experiences perhaps forever behind me (along with a couple of marriages) along came Facebook, and the use of the word 'Like' became an unrelenting and recurring nightmare.  Rather than my own fumbling occasional uses of the word in failed attempts to comprehend emotions that I rarely understood; I was now subjected to a veritable barrage of this four letter word that must be used to convey a cornucopia of emotions and opinions.  

When a FB friend put a link up, was my unvoiced 'like' an expression of appreciation for the information provided, for the opinion expressed by this friend about the link, or both?  Would a failure to give this vote of confidence (no relation to the novel of the same name) be seen as a lack of solidarity or worse, as an expression of disdain for something they found meaningful or informative?  When two FB friends shared a link, was I required to like both, and would a slight be incurred by not doing so?  When putting up my own links and other nonsense, would I in turn take offense myself in not being 'liked'?  Did comments that were made on such material similarly require a 'Like' to show acknowledgement of their interest or affirmation?

Making matters worse almost simultaneously, was the peculiar speech pattern that was once again appearing in so many around me, one that I had thought to have seen the end of with "Valley Girls" and similar movies about teenagers in  shopping malls fading into the oblivion.  Instead, I once more found myself besieged by acquaintances, co-workers, and random strangers who insisted on connecting random thoughts in sometimes even more random sequences of phrases to form discourses molded around 'Like'.  Declarations that, "Like we were going out the other night, and like you'll never guess what happened.  It was like the craziest thing that I'd ever seen before, and like you know I've seen some pretty crazy stuff.  So anyway, we were just like sitting there ..." engender the same feelings in me as fingernails on a blackboard or my the vibration of teeth being drilled for cavities (without anesthetic).  

Worse still was realizing that by such constant exposure, I too was occasionally being drawn into similar (and because of my recognition of them), even more painful declarations.  Hailing back to the memories of social suicide that I committed through the use of this word in irrational in often pathetic early attempts at the social graces, I now found myself committing linguistic suicide in abortive attempts to communicate the simplest of ideas to other members of either gender.  Horrified at my inability to articulate the simplest concept or idea without bastardizing it into what will undoubtedly be the main soliloquy of Hollywood's next retread of a unoriginal ideas "Valley Girls - The New Mallenium", I actually began to contemplate a vow of silence rather than see myself sink to a level of communication only previously dwelt in by members of the inarticulate 'Occupy' movement.

Lest some of you begin early celebrations of my potentially quiescent future however, let me add that while indeed on the brink, I believe that I've pulled myself back from the edge of despair and unintelligible communication.  That which cannot be changed must be endured, and that which does not kill us makes us stronger.  I realized that I must therefore soldier on as best I can.  This does not mean that this word has gained new found favor with me; but the awareness that until the current benighted conversational trend runs its course, there is little that I can do to ameliorate the current bastardization of the English language.  I will therefore attempt to use this word only within proper context (and when forced to do so by the exigencies of Facebook).  

Until further notice therefore, I choose to 'Unlike' 'Like'.    

Blenglish

I was spending the last couple of nights reading blog postings and comments while traveling. (Actually I spend far too much time doing that most nights, and some of them are actually on this blog.) While comments on "Just Blowing Smoke" seem to run to smaller strings and therefore fairly normal grammar and sentence structure, the same cannot be said for many of the other sites that I normally visit. 

As I have commented before here, there seems to be a direct relationship between the length of the comment string and the likelihood that those commenting will stray beyond the confines of the King's English, that capitalization will crop up in the most unlikely of places, and that a string of mostly personal vitriol will begin to pour forth anonymously. 

Some of this is simple texting abbreviation like: IMHO (In My Humble Opinion), or my personal favorite ROTFLMAO (Rolling On The Floor, Laughing My Ass Off). Others are actually quite clever attempts to make a point through sarcastic misspelling (Mi Amigo at the "Hooda Thunkit Therapy Blog", as you could probably guess from the title, is a master of this.) Some are simply so interested in pouring forth an almost obscene level of acrimony that they forget to check spelling, grammar, or common sense and common decency. 

There are those however, that have taken this process to an almost incomprehensible level. In their honor, I too am going to take advantage of the my own limited creative abilities and use them to coin a new word: "Blenglish". Of course, this word is a combination of "Blog" (already slang for the original term web log) and the language that it occasionally makes fleeting contact with, English. It includes both the clever and not so clever screen names that anyone with access to a computer keyboard can and seems to revel in hiding behind, all of the texting abbreviations that I have to have my children explain to me, and the random form of capitalization and punctuation that becomes a greater part showing emotion and emphasis while blogging. 

It is neither a positive nor negative descriptive term, but instead is merely one that attempts to label (as we human beings do far too often) a form of behavior and a method of communication becoming more and more a part of our world. So I want you to remember this day well. Years from now when "Blenglish" is finally entered into the Merriam Webster dictionary to formally become a part of the vernacular, you can say that you were there when the word was first conceived of. 
 
... have a great weekend

The Curse of Language

With the current loss of good manners in our society, a subject which I've talked about in an earlier post on the end of civilization, one thing that I didn't touch on is one near and dear to my heart ... language. There is little doubt that language has been degraded in a number of ways in recent years. I'm not talking about slang here, which has always been part of the vernacular, and most of which has either fallen away over time as useless or absorbed into general usage. Neither am I talking about street talk, which is a problem of its own and probably better dealt with in a separate posting. No, what I am talking about here is the proliferation swearing that has now become an acceptable form of communication.

Back in the old days, the late George Carlin used to talk about the "Seven Words You Can't Say On Television". You still can't say those words on Network television, but they have certainly made their way into cable. George himself used them on an HBO special or two over the years. Radio, like broadcast TV, still has the FCC looking over their shoulder and issuing both rulings and fines in a vain attempt to maintain a modicum of decorum, but mostly in vain. Their rules have been modified over the years so many times that what would have drawn that agency's ire only a few years ago are now heard on the air regularly. (Besides, they are a government agency and therefore models of a lack of consistency or common sense.) As for the use of such language on the Internet, you have only the limits of your imagination as to what's OK. Even here in the blogging world the level of swearing is up to the writer / moderator / editor of the blog. They not only control the language used in their own postings, but the level of cursing that will be tolerated in the comments.

Don't get me wrong. I am far from a saint in this regard. I was taught to swear while still in my teens by a boss whose every other word was a more than a little off-color. George was an inspiration in my impressionable youth of creative cursing (and a generally belligerent outlook on life), and in switching gears as I went from what was permissible language at work to what was permissible at home. Heck, cursing was cool, having the combined qualities of being forbidden, dangerous, and obscene (everything a teenage boy could ask for). Even as a young adult, swearing was a significant part of my life. I was working every day with machinery that was attempting to devour me a little bit at a time (it actually got a piece at one point). When not cursing the equipment that was supposed to be providing me with a living for failing to perform to my expectations, I was cursing my fate to any who would listen over the wounds that this equipment inflicted upon me.

I find these days that the fires of my youth have somewhat cooled and I have little or no use for such language. Good behavior and good manners have disappeared from so many aspects or our lives that I find myself clinging to those few that remain. This doesn't make me better than others, just different (and probably older). Neither does this doesn't mean that the need for demonstrative expression doesn't come to me from time to time, but that I now seek a different outlet. Instead of profanity, I normally attempt to use something more clever to express my thoughts (sometimes failing miserably). Instead of calling someone a "bastard" as an example, I state instead that "their parents were never married". Instead of saying the "shit hit the fan", I say that the "natural fertilizer hit the oscillating rotator". Admittedly it isn't much, but it makes me smile and does help to pass the time.

Perhaps we can all try to be a little more creative in expressing ourselves. Words, do in fact, mean things; and the need to choose them more carefully is something that we all should be concerned with. Language is one of the things that supposedly separates us from the beasts (and can be a lot of fun). We need to revel in that separation and take advantage of it. We need to find ways to express ourselves without losing the constructs of polite society and common decency. We need to abandon the "Curse of Language".

(... and for those of you who disagree with me, up yours) :-)