Capitalism Run Amok

I've been having a little trouble sleeping nights lately (and no, it's not the result of a guilty conscience ... unfortunately).  While much of the TV on late at night makes pretty bad look pretty good if you don't have cable, some of the 'Commercials for Insomniacs' are actually quite amusing.  I am learning more a about American popular culture from these examples of Capitalism than I do from watching the news.

Did you know that that there are elastic waistbands that women can buy to get the layered look without the layers?  While no one has explained to me why women want to look layered without being layered, I was able to grasp that one of the reasons for the purchase of this extra 12" waist band was so that when a woman bent over she didn't expose her waist, or worse yet, the exterior of her posterior.  While I can certainly see the desirability of limiting the display of 'Plumber's Syndrome", I was nevertheless struck that the same could be accomplished (without spending the $20, plus shipping and handling) by not purchasing shirts cut so high and tight they rode up and pants so low-cut and tight that they rode down.  (This is undoubtedly why I am neither an expert on fashion, nor a rich inventor/entrepreneur.)

Did you likewise know that you can buy devices that make slicing, dicing,and chopping far easier than it would be with an ordinary knife?  (Of course you did, since such devices, in one form or another, have been around for years.)  I can't really poke too much fun at this one, as I found myself purchasing one of these technological wonders many years ago in order to be able to fragment vegetables more efficiently ... and create Julienne fries 'in a snap'.  (The fact that I had never heard of Julienne fries before buying this device, and therefore didn't even know if I wanted them, seemed inconsequential at the time.)  While I must admit that the device did in fact slice potatoes, carrots,and onions admirably, and far faster than I could do in manually with a knife (even one of those fancy new knives that slice empty cans of refried beans before creating wafer thin tomato slices), I was still somewhat dubious of the process.  Of course after you added in time required for assembly, tear down, and cleaning; neither method actually proved faster than the other.  

Over succeeding years, I found that by the time I dragged the damn thing out, figured out how to reassemble it, found the proper cutting blades, and finally began to cut, I had lost interest in the vegetables requiring dis-assembly (and sometimes the will to live); so I parted with it through donation to a charitable organization (tax-deductible recycling).  I still have one of those 'slap choppers' collecting dust in the back of a cabinet, but seldom use it.  It likewise did nothing to truly expedite the vegetable dissection process and the memories of the sore hand that I got using it further remind me of why it too should be recycled.

But these forays into personal consumerism and rampant capitalism are educational as well.  I have recently learned that the only way that I'm going to get eight golf balls or a bowling ball out of my carpeting is to buy a $500 vacuum cleaner.  This model of modern carpet cleanliness is capable of maneuvering around furniture that I don't own, getting under tables that I don't posses, and is capable of vacuuming around corners by turning on a dime.  Of course, I like to vacuum in straight lines so I get those 'clean lines' in the finished carpet, and if the power it contains is half of what it brags about, I suspect that it would suck the dime up long before turning on it. I'm also told that it's very easy to carry up and down stairs, but since I live in a one-bedroom apartment, this ability seems of little practical benefit.

Then again, if the vacuum cleaner didn't make me a big enough sucker (and I suspect it would), I could always add to the volume of air movement in my residence by buying one of those massive air cleaners.  According to the nice lady on the infomercial, they exchange the air in a room at least three times an hour (though no one ever seems to explain what they're exchanging it with).  In fact, these devices confuse me.  While I'm trying to live a bit 'greener', dedicating myself in small ways to cleaner air, I can't help but wonder if such a unit wouldn't exchange the air before I had done my efficient best to use it.  Additionally, I'm not sure of the trade off between the pollution generated in order to power the unit with electricity vs the promise of cleaning the air with it is a fair exchange.  I fear I will not be able to reach a logical conclusion to this dilemma until presented with properly documented fact one way or the other.

As for women's undergarments, let me only say that I had no idea that so much scientific development was going into them; or that women could talk about them for hours on end in spite of the fact that they used to be called 'unmentionables'.  It seems that women are willing to buy articles of clothing that manipulate their bodies in ways that would surely get the average man arrested, even if he was married to the one in question.  The parts that aren't being pushed up are being pushed in.  Whatever real or imagined body parts or body faults that a woman has, according the show's hosts, should be quickly surrounded by elasticized material, manipulated, and re-displayed through methods that have already been outlawed as torture by the United Nations.  

And while corsets seem to have for the most part been done away with (except decoratively of course), most of the functionality of women's undergarments seems to have been taken over by the scientists that created the Ace Bandage, and with much the same material.  Perhaps most intriguing in this meat manipulation process (sorry ladies, but that's what it is) is that it's done in a mostly misguided attempt to gain the ability to wear styles of clothing that no one, let alone supposedly mature women, should wear.  While I have always been fascinated with women, like the making of sausages and laws; I suspect that this is a process probably better not viewed too closely, too often, and certainly not on television late at night.

(I am coming to believe that like many other areas of scientific study, women's underwear falls into two schools of thought.  The 'Victoria's Secret'  school of undergarment design holds that "less is more", and charges more for the less that they provide.  The 'Ace Bandage' school on the other hand, believes that "covering more showing less" is the answer, and charges far less than the Victoria's school for the more making it appear that there is in fact less being covered.  It's not a perfect theory, but it's a working one that works for me.)

I may be an unreconstructed capitalist, but some of this scares even me.  The fact that there are multiple channels dedicated to consumerism on such a scale is bad.  The fact that in these tough economic times, there appears to be a great many people with a day pass on the crazy train with 'disposable' income to buy this carnival crap is worse, and may in fact prove that Capitalism has finally run off the rails.  I'm not sure whether to give the process a standing ovation, or pull the covers over my head so I don't have to watch any more.

But if you'll excuse me now, I need to get back to the the show I was watching.  The electronics hour starts in 15 minutes and I have my eye on a deal on a 73" HD, 3D, surround sound TV that if I pull the trigger on it, they probably won't be able to get through my front door anyway.

A Falling 'Leaf'

By now, I'm sure that you've all seen this commercial for the 'all electric' Nissan Leaf (and if you've somehow managed to avoid it or have forgotten that you've seen it, please press 'play' above before continuing).  I have to give credit to the ad agency that came up with the concept, the actors for playing their parts without a snicker, and Nissan for using such a spot to highlight their latest example of "Green Technology". 

Watching it brings back memories of the film style of Terry Gilliam (of Monty Python fame, especially the animation).  This effort, and the expressions of the actors, is very reminiscent of Gilliam's obscure and perplexing "Brazil", which I think I watched three times before I began to get a hint of understanding how to follow the plot.  Having heaped praise and a bit of confusion onto Nissan's sixty-one second cinematic effort, I am forced to ask however:

What do they think we are, morons?

It's bad when an automobile manufacturer attempts to heap scorn on the modern technology that has contributed to the very development of the product that they are trying to sell us.  It's worse when Nissan calmly suggests that  everyone jump in on their 1st Generation technology, one that's likely to prove either faulty or obsolete, long before the natural lifetime of this vehicle expires.  It's worse still for them to 'guilt' us into buying a vehicle whose batteries probably contain more in the way of long-term environmental hazards than their gas burning counterparts.  It's downright aggravating to be scolded by a company that has made all of its money selling vehicles that burn fossil fuels about the evils of doing so.

Perhaps worst of all for me is watching the end of the commercial when they oh so smugly ask, "What if everything ran on gas?  Then again, what if everything didn't?" while showing us the clean and efficient sidewalk charging station. 

Well Nissan, I have a couple questions in return, "Where do you think the electricity for that charging station comes from?  Could it fall from the trees that the charging station is in line with?  No, then perhaps it magically comes out of the ground beneath the charging station?  No again, then maybe the power for Nissan Leafs comes from 'Magic Electricity Fairies' who have an endless supply for those lucky enough to own such an Earth-friendly vehicle?"

In point of fact in this country, the odds are that any electricity the charging station uses comes from a power plant that burns fossil fuels (you know, like coal, oil, and gas).  After all, renewable energy in this country (including wind, hydro, solar, and geothermal) accounts for just over 14.3 % of all of the power generated.  That means that there's better than a 1 in 6 chance that the power going to that charging station comes from the very technology being demonized in the ad.

By implication therefore, an increase in power generation required to keep a fleet of Nissan Leaf's on the road would require even more fossil fuel to be burned to generate such electricity; which seems counter-intuitive to the concept that these vehicles will reduce our dependence on fossil fuels.  Certainly we can expect no additional help from nuclear power generation, as since the Japan earthquakes, even discussing the implications of increasing nuclear power in this country is anathema.

As for the evil fossil fuel power generation going on in the US, it's coming under increasing attack from the EPA.  Many current coal burning power plants are scheduled for shut down, as their operators tell us that if not impossible, it's unprofitable to bring them up to the standards required by the government.  With the shutdown of these aging power plants across the country, the US electric grid will come under sizable strain to keep up with existing power usage in this country.  Many are in fact predicting the likelihood of rolling blackouts even without the growth in current usage, an increase that will be impossible to avoid if and when the economy again begins to expand.  Buying electric cars by extension therefore, will only deepen the real possibility of power shortages in this country.

In yet another classic case of what economist Thomas Sowell calls "Stage One Thinking", we are once again being encouraged to adopt a technology whose implications yield eventual dire consequences.  Forget or ignore the manufacture, placement, and logistics involved with the charging stations.  Forget as well the limited range, the replacement or disposal costs of batteries, or a hundred other things required to support such vehicles on a practical scale.  Forget as well, some of the missteps like the Chevy Volt; which has already proved itself more than capable of catching fire when charging or sitting in a parking spot (let alone what might happen to passengers during a actual car accident).  Let us by all means race blindly ahead in implementation, trusting that such problems will be solved (perhaps by the 'Power Fairies'). 

But 'Bravo' to Nissan, who instead sends us a not-so-subtle message by showing us a jogger waving away the fumes of a gas-powered cell phone while using a gas-guzzling Ipod. (In fact, wasn't it strange that every device in the commercial had a visible exhaust?)  Kudos as well for the comparison of the guy filling his car with gas in shirtsleeves, and the guy at the charging station wearing a sport coat.  We all of course missed the implication that by being better dressed, those who use electric vehicles are somehow smarter, better off, or more important than those who continue to rely on energy derived from dead dinosaurs.  

Some may actually buy into the persuasion of such 60 second cinema.  Of course they're probably the same ones convinced that they will gain respect of their peers by drinking the right light beer or get the girl if they only wear Axe cologne.  As for me, I remember that the problem with a leaf is that while it's attractive enough to look at, it's doomed to fall ... and usually far too soon ...

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Strange Connections

Sometimes the references of popular culture are simply too good to pass up making fun of. In this case, it was while I was listening to a commercial on the radio (1370 WSPD, no less) today describing a memory training class. The commercial stated that, "memory is a trainable skill ... like riding a bicycle". The relationship that it described (and the potential humorous ramifications of the statement) struck me, so I thought that I would share it with you under the concept that anything can be taken to ridiculous extremes.

• Memory is a like riding a bicycle.
• Sex is like riding a bicycle.
• Therefore according the rules of symbolic logic, memory is a lot like sex.
• I have ridden a bicycle and remember sex, therefore I may have already completed memory training (though I don't seem to remember it) .

(That last one shouldn't count, but I couldn't resist putting it in.) 


Yep, that clinches it. Things that you least suspect are in fact related.

Media Misandry

Many of you are undoubtedly looking at the title of this posting and saying to yourself: "Huh?" I can't say that I blame you, as I had to look up the term myself. But it is in fact a term with which we should all become more familiar, since it appears to be a growing sentiment in this country. 


Now for those who will not take the time to look up the term, Misandry is defined in the Merriam Webster dictionary as: "a hatred of men". I find this to be a growing message in this country, willingly perpetrated on the public by the popular media. TV sitcoms on all of the major networks (and many of the cable networks as well) have shows in which apparently all of male characters are portrayed in a less than favorable light. 


If this were not enough however, additional abuse is heaped upon my gender during the commercial breaks. Women buy smaller, environmentally friendly cars, while guys buy trucks. Women save money buying groceries that men spend on foolish toys. Women, hoping for a modicum of thrift and common sense from their spouses, send them shopping for home appliances; only to have these men, who are seeking only the quickest way out the situation, allow the store to do the searching while actually spending their time vainly attempting to fool their spouses (and playing ping-pong). 


Nor is even radio a safe haven from these demeaning examples of male bashing, as advertising spots depict the advantages of women having the time to blog about their "jerk ex-boyfriend". Positive messages about members of the male gender seem limited to straight men who show up with jewelry or new cars for their female paramours or gay men who seem to have the ability to understand how horrible straight men are. (Please don't write me about gay bashing, as this is anything but my intent or point.) 


This consistently poor representation of men disturbs me in ways that I have difficulty describing (not that this has or will keep me from trying). Not only do I find all of this grossly insulting to myself and other members of my gender, but I wonder at the example that it provides. 


Too much of television today is geared towards and watched by impressionable young males. Far too many of those young people we are told, are looking for positive role models in sports in the media. What then are they given as a guide in the media? It appears to be an endless series of images in programs and commercials of a group of moronic, juvenile, and mostly disgusting, beer-swilling misogynists (the opposite of misandry but you probably figured that out), who are completely incapable of self-sufficiency. 


This is something that I think all can agree might be something better left off of the role model educational curriculum. Now this should surprise us, since we are told that corporate America is in fact one of the last bastions of male domination. If we are to believe that this is truly the case though, how could these negative images be the media message of the gender in charge? Could it be that men are filled with such self-loathing that they allow these images as some demented form of penance? Could it be that some of these images are correct and that while men think that they are in charge, they are secretly being manipulated by women into doing things against their own best interest? Could it be that not only do men fit a profile that may not place them much above the other apes, but are so blind to their own shortcomings that they either don't realize the message being sent or mistakenly and wholeheartedly endorse these images as an accurate projection?


Don't get me wrong, many of us may well fit the profile being handed out (Nah ...); but pointing it out doesn't help, reminding us of it shatters our all too fragile male self-esteem, and bombarding the airwaves with such images can only contribute to the continuation of what (according to these images) must already be an appalling situation. So if any of you media or advertising moguls out there are reading this (yeah, like that's happening), would you mind giving us a break from this Media Misandry.