Showing posts with label armegeddon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label armegeddon. Show all posts

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Sequestration - A Hallmark Disaster


Those of you who regularly read these efforts in "Just Blowing Smoke" have heard me speak before about 'Hallmark Holidays'.  I won't go through the list of such days here, as it often varies on a personal basis.  They can all be easily recognized however by the fact that they are 'made up' holidays, use special cards (usually manufactured by KC's own Hallmark) for their occurrence, and often seem to carry a requirement to purchase flowers, jewelry, and/or automobiles for a loved in order to properly celebrate them.  (Many can also be recognized by ads in the newspaper which enable one to purchase tires or mattresses at reduced prices.) 

It occurred to me however, that lately we have become a nation of not only Hallmark Holidays, but of Hallmark Disasters; in spite of the fact that apparently the greeting card companies have shown a failure in their ability to keep up with the times.  It seems, for example, a shame that we have yet to see 'Debt Ceiling' cards, 'Kick the Budget Can Down the Road' cards, and with it being less than a week away ... 'Sequestration' cards.

Oh sure, each of these is purported to be a disaster rather than a day of celebration, but like their supposedly joyous counterparts, they are mostly made up and meaningless.  Let's look at their overall design:
  • Each is a disaster (like some of the holidays) has been created by the government with, the willing participation of the two political parties that have a strangle hold on it, under the guise of being for our benefit.
  • Each is a bi-partisan effort that the two sides of the aisle later blame on each other for occurring in the first place.
  • Each is debated about by politicians and media talking heads, while largely ignored by the public.
  • Each is one that both politicians and political parties change their positions on with each rising tide and wind direction change.
  • Each is billed as the equivalent of the End of Days, even after so many of them have come and gone without anything of significance happening as a result of their occurrence.  
As for this latest made-by-government misadventure, it might be the thinly disguied bit of BS yet.  After all, Sequester was supposed to be the latest answer to doing something other than 'Kick the Budget Can'.  Voters, it seems, were beginning to tire of yet another boring event in which only feet were used; and probably for many of the same reasons.  (The US doesn't appear to be very good at it, few in the stands really understand the rules and most found it too low scoring for attention span of the average voter ... or six year-old.)

The truth of the matter is that 'Sequestration' was a poor designed Doomsday at best, with even those attempting to stop the clock from ticking down losing interest.
  • The White House originally presented this budgetary Armageddon as a 'final solution' and now can't seem to even remember the 'Simpson-Bowles' report or the result of ignoring it.
  • Both parties voted for Sequestration as a last resort; yet as the deadline that they most feared approaches, both are so concerned over the ticking down of its doomsday clock that they .... take a vacation and leave town.
  • Both parties continue to call Sequestration budget 'cuts', in spite of the fact that even under its strictures, the government will spend more money this year than it did last year (which was more than the year before).
  • Democrats continue to successfully blame Republicans for a failure to avoid this supposed disaster in spite of the fact that a Republican-controlled House has voted twice to amend it and a Democratically-controlled Senate has failed to vote on anything even vaguely related to it.
  • Both Houses and Parties continue to ignore the simple solution of allowing the budget cuts of Sequestration to happen, but allowing the President or Departments heads involved to prioritize their own spending and cut accordingly rather than making across-the-board cuts.
  • Almost everyone involved with this form of budget resolution wants to talk about the horrible impact that it will have on the recovery of the economy and with unemployment, when in fact all that it will do is to provide a reduction of 2.4% of what's expected to be a budget of some $3.8 trillion.
  • Far too many would like you to believe that somehow the continuing problem of a $16 trillion debt that continues to grow because we're spending more money than we take in will go away if we just close some tax loopholes for individuals and corporations.  It won't!
  • With very rare exceptions indeed, no one at any level of government will tell you what will actually happen if Sequestration occurs, though they are more than willing to set up 'straw man arguments' that have nothing to do with the process.  (My person pet peeve however, was the President talking about police and firemen being laid off if it occurs when these people are paid out of municipal and state budgets and not the federal budget that Sequestration affects.)

Since there appears to be no way to get the Executive or Legislative Branches of government to pay serious or proper attention to the actual state of fiscal affairs in this country, I therefore propose that we attempt to get what growth in the GDP that we can from turning these mostly made-up disasters into the same type of opportunities that they've done with made-up holidays.  

Oh sure, it will take them a while to get up to speed on which ones are best suited (and which might even require 3-day weekends), that's no reason not to get the presses rolling.  If they can't doing anything about addressing the fiscal crisis in this country in any meaningful way, the least they can do is let us properly celebrate their ineptitude  Let's face it, with just a little effort on the part of greeting card companies acros the nation, I'm sure that some cards with catchy slogans could be produced before the next Debt Celing deadline occurs.  

Perhaps the morons in the national legislature could even offer some phony baloney Stimulus dollars to someone other than a green energy company that the Chinese will eventually want to purchase so that we can get a tire or mattress sale (or two) in place, and move these Hallmark Disasters into true national prominence. 




Saturday, August 25, 2012

The Armageddon List

Don't worry, this isn't my plan to ready myself for survival after the End of Days. Instead it's a reference to a movie of the same title that's seen a lot of air time lately on cable.  That and upcoming political conventions got me thinking about what my list of demands might be as my reward for saving the world.  As is often the case, such thinking inevitably found itself onto the pages of this blog.  After all, what's the point of 'nonsensical musings' if you don't make them public from time to time.  

Have no fear, there will be no requests to bring back 8-track tapes (or cassettes for that matter).  Too many twisted tape, jammed player experiences in my past make that even too nonsensical for me.  Neither do I have anyone that I want to get special consideration for citizenship, or to stay in the Lincoln Bedroom in the White House for six months.  There may be a few musical references before I'm finished however.  In fact, let's start off with a one to get in the spirit things ....

*  It's time for many of these multimillion dollar cry babies in long-touring bands to get over their petty differences and tour with the original members.  Dennis De Young is the lead singer of Styx, Jon Anderson is the lead singer of Yes, and Steve Perry is the lead singer of Journey.  I don't care if the new guy sounds mostly the same, there's just some things that shouldn't be messed with.  And before you ask about Van Halen, I am of the belief that they should tour alternate years, one with David Lee Roth and the other with Sammy Hagar.

*  Every federal agency is to be placed on a 5-year referendum; with both houses of Congress compelled to a straight up or down vote (without dodges or filibusters) on its effectiveness, necessity, and continuation.  

*  I want Will Farrell, Adam Sandler, and Rob Schneider to stop making movies.  They play pretty much the same parts from one to the other anyway, so it's not like they would actually be giving up much in the way of an acting career; but if their absence could save even one life (let alone the intellects of movie-goers around the world) it would be worth it.  Since every actor likes to recognized by their peers before their career is over (and believe me, for these three it is) I would even be willing to start a petition drive to have the Academy of Motion Pictures to award them a special "Lack of Lifetime Achievement" Oscar.

*  Make some of the Networks out there change their names or their programming choices.  If you're the "History Channel", you're about history.  If network name is "Arts and Entertainment", then be about that.  If you want to air trashy reality shows about horribly dysfunctional people, pawn shop thieves, and exterminators; your network name should be NBC (Nothing But Crap).  Oh wait, that's already taken ...  
(Oh yeah, and MTV and VH1 both have to back to playing music videos ...)

*  All laws passed by Congress to likewise immediately become applicable to its members.  Such laws to become retroactive with respect to retirement plans and healthcare; but only long enough to place current and future members onto the Social Security rolls.  I would further like a law added in which the pay of  members of Congress is a daily fee, only for the days during which Congress is in session, and taxed at the highest individual rate allowed regardless of the amount of income earned.

While we're at it, can we get a lot less of Donald Trump.  It's bad enough that we have to deal with the over-the-top narcissism of naming everything he owns after himself and put up with combination of egotism and bad entertainment of his faux reality show, without listening to his tin-foil hat opinions on national politics.  Maybe he could use the time he would gain in saving us from his opinions on a new television effort; one where he searches around the world for someone to give him a decent haircut.

*  I want party primary elections to be paid for by the parties picking candidates.  General elections are a civic responsibility (even though most people don't choose to exercise their obligation where they're involved), so I don't mind paying for them.  I'm sick to death however of paying for the two biggest political teams billing me for letting them make their 'fantasy football' choices when others like the Green Party, the Constitution Party, or Libertarians have to foot their own bill. 

*  There is one however, that I will cheerfully steal from the movie:  "Yeah one more thing, um... none of them wanna pay taxes again.  Ever."



I may add to this list in the coming days as more ideas (or suggestions) come to me; so don't be surprised to see this get longer over the weekend.