Saturday, September 1, 2007

Lawyers Have Created The Best Racket In Town

Since we are in the midst of a holiday celebrating the workers of America (almost sounds Communist, doesn't it), I thought I would throw in something related to the day. 

Well I have to give the lawyers credit, they have succeeded where the unions never could, and created a world full of privilege and job security for themselves on a scale that the AFL - CIO, the Teamsters, or UAW never dreamed of. Oh wait, lawyers aren't a union ... or are they? Let's just think about it a minute and tell me if this doesn't sound like one:
  • You are tested to see if you can even qualify for the training that you are attempting to get (the LSAT)
  • You have to got to be trained in the in the language, practices, and procedures of the group before you can do the work, in special training programs run by other people already doing the job
  • You have to take a special test (the Bar Exam) in order to achieve your journeyman status and perform the work.
  • You have to be licensed to perform the work in the area that you perform it. (This might even violate some state's Right to Work laws.)
  • You pay dues to a group organization once you have been accepted (the Bar Association)
Once you have passed your apprenticeship program however, you become a full-fledged member, and just look at the employment opportunities that await you:
  • Defense Attorney - where you get to do battle with evil prosecutors and lawmen (there is a sub-category here called public defenders, but that's kind of like the minor leagues and most good members move up once they earn their spurs)
  • Civil Attorneys - where you get to do battle with evil corporations and other evil attorneys in the same gig
  • Judges - who are kind of like referees, except that in no sport that I know of do you have to be a player before you can be a ref
  • Justices of the State Courts- where you get to do battle with evil lawmakers and lawyers
  • Supreme Court Justices - where you get to do battle with these evil doers until you die at the bench or reach a point of senility where the only sentence you can pronounce is: "Off with their heads!"
  • Lawmakers - where you are a congressional representative or senator on a state or national level and get to fashion the rules that everybody else in your group gets to work with
In no other field of endeavor, public or private, is such an elitist group in control of so much. You make the rules, you argue the rules application, and you decide the winner; and then after you decide a number of your peers review all of the work that went before over and over again and decide if it's OK. No one is allowed to do the work that you do with passing your apprenticeship program, and you've assured that by passing a laws against such work. This ranks right up there with the monopoly that the Post Office has. You talk about the snake eating its own tail, well brother this is it!

No wonder that there are more people in school trying to get into this union than are currently in it. (The facts laid out here sound eerily similar to those of the medical profession. Have no fear, their turn will be coming soon.)

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