The Twinkie Is On Life Support (Updated)

Those of you not paying particular attention to financial events critical to this nation's survival may not realize that Hostess Brands Inc., makers of Twinkies, Ding Dongs, Ho Hos, and Cupcakes is on life support today.  You were warned of course, I wrote about the potential demise of the Hostess Brands some ten months ago here; as its battles with the Bakery, Confectionery, Tobacco Workers and Grain Miller Union.  (Some have hinted the biggest impediment to an agreement is the aggravation caused by repeating the Unions name over and over again during negotiations.  There has been no confirmation to these rumors.)  

Now let's face it, a management group that's constantly taking the company through bankruptcy protection is a lousy one.  As badly as they've served the stockholders however, the Union however took it to the next level when went on strike last Friday.  A company so often in bankruptcy has little if anything to negotiate with.  As a consequence, Wednesday Hostess announced that it will liquidate the entire company if enough workers aren't back to work by 4 PM today. 

Now I don't know what the strike's about and I don't care.  I am however begging anyone out there who is or even knows a striking worker to go back on the line.  

MY GOD PEOPLE , WE'RE TALKING ABOUT NO MORE TWINKIES HERE!

How can Americans be asked to face the impending financial crisis, the continuing lack of well-paying jobs, and the increasing pressure of the boot of government on our necks without the solace of these creme-filled, angel cake beauties?

I'm sorry ladies and gentlemen, I am simply too overwhelmed to go on.  With only hours to go on this death watch saga however, I ask you to visit your church, temple, synagogue, or mosque and pray that this purveyor of heavenly treats survives to see another sunrise.

As for me, if you are on the streets he in Mission, you undoubtedly will find me at one of my local grocery outlets, attempting to buy out their Twinkie inventory, lest the worst-case-scenario occurs.  If your efforts fail, the expiration date on Twinkies insures that I will have an ample supply, and should at least have enough to stave off the worst effects of TWS (Twinkie Withdrawal Syndrome).  I may even become a wealthy many if, as I suspect, the world abandons both fiat currency and gold, and goes on the "Twinkie Standard".  If your efforts succeed, I will undoubtedly lock the door to my apartment and binge on my inventory on what can only be considered a Biblical scale, at which point your prayers may again be required ... this time for me.

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Update:

 

Hostess Brands made it official and pulled the plug as they had promised.  The company has officially filed with the Courts for formal liquidation.  This process will not only cost approximately 18,000 jobs; but also deprive the general public of one of the few government non-approved treats left in the world.  And while some of Union persuasion have been attempting to blame these job losses on management, it should be remembered that this same management will likewise be losing their jobs, even though they never went on strike.

While we must truly say "Requiescat In Pace" to the Hostess Brands (at least for now), this is not yet the death of the Twinkie, since their 20-year shelf life means that for those of us who recently began to hoard them, there are years of creme-filled pleasure to look forward to.  And as the Financial Cliff of 2013 occurs, there many of us out here who may yet survive the financial holocaust as the price of silver, gold, and even diamonds plummet in favor of the "Twinkie Standard" of economic exchange.

And so let me say in closing that, "We come not to bury Twinkies, but to praise them (and maybe snack on a few)."