Talent

While agonizing recently over my desire to do a better job at writing these little literary gems, I began to think about the talent actually required to do so. It didn't take me long to realize that it was much easier to think about it (and its ramifications) than to possess it. Before I knew it, I was scribbling notes to myself on the subject, and this inevitably led to a list of comparisons in which I, like most, suffer. 

Undaunted by this realization and never wanting to keep such valuable information to myself, I decided to share it with all of you. Look closely if you dare, and decide which side of each statement you might fall on.

• Talent on loan from God (sorry Rush) vs. talent on loan from someone who really, really wanted to loan it out, as it was doing them little good.
• Talent that has a better chance of getting you on "America's Most Wanted" than "American Idol"
• Talent that makes you considered a virtuoso of a piano keyboard instead of the kind that overloads the spell and grammar check functions on a computer from your use of its keyboard.
• Talent that allows you to make a major scientific or medical breakthrough instead of the kind that makes you break through the window of the lab at a hospital.
• Talent that would allow you to spin endlessly fascinating stories rather than that which allows you to endlessly spin in your chair while waiting for inspiration to smile upon you while attempting to write one.
• Talent that would allow you to prepare gourmet meals for yourself and your friends instead of that which allows you to treat fried hot dogs in the macaroni and cheese as such a meal.
• Talent that inspires your friends to explore their own gifts instead of the kind that inspires them to explore the the disinfectant shelf to keep whatever you have from spreading to them.

I would love to share which side of each of these statements that I feel that I fall on, but I am embarrassed enough to realize that you managed to figure that out fairly early in the list. Hey! Perhaps by admitting the simple fact of my own shortcomings to you, I could be said to have shown a talent for understatement.