Thursday, November 15, 2007

That's Not Right #2: Santa Gone Wrong (Update)

For those of you concerned enough to ask, I am still waiting for my 2nd interview for the Santa position that I was trying to get at Victoria's Secret. Actually, I am still waiting for my 1st interview. I have not given up hope however, and will be making the trip down to Columbus this weekend in the hope of pleading my case personally. 

Now this trip to our state capital (and the corporate headquarters of Victoria's secret) has no direct tie to my employment effort, nor does it have anything to do with the football game this weekend surprisingly enough; but the opportunity presented seems too good a one to pass up. With luck, the interview that I hope to get will in some way make up for the resume that I sent out (next time I will know better than to tell the truth).

There have been some who, having scrutinized my motives in seeking such a position, have come to the conclusion that I should get my old "Aqualung" suit out of mothballs (and I actually used to have one of these from a band that I played with in the 70's).  

Let me assure you however, that I am merely looking for a source of additional income to subsidize the increased tax burden that the recent Toledo and Lucas County levy votes have placed me under, and maybe buy some extra gifts for the grand kids. (Besides, the green trench-coat and helmet liner of that Aqualung suit are looking pretty bad and no longer fit me.)
Anyway, I am hoping to hear something on this soon, as not trimming the beard is beginning to get kind of annoying. Neither am I entirely comfortable with the waves that I get from small children at the grocery store.

I will keep you posted (literally and figuratively)...


Chad Quigley said... perhaps, I'm just guessing here..but I'd thing 'Stand Up" would be a good choice.. :-)

Tim Higgins said...


Are you suggesting that I stand up and make a fool of myself in public for money? As opposed to what I normally do for free.

Such comments remind me of one of my favorite old movies, "The Court Jester", starring Danny Kaye. And I quote:

"I was battered and bruised but the king was amused and before the siesta he made me his jester and I found out soon that to be a buffoon was a serious thing as a rule! For a jester's chief employment is to kill himself for your enjoyment, and a jester unemployed is nobody's fool!"

Kat said...

I wish you well on your search for extra income. Perhaps some of that will come my way in the of a really good Christmas gift. (Yes, I dared say Christmas and not Holiday or Winterfest, or whatever the latest politically correct phrase is!) I have seen the old Aqualung outfit and can verify that it has seen it's better days. Then again, it got a lot of use back then. I also know that you may put the coat on, but you're not getting it buttoned! The good news is that the helmet liner will still fit since your hair was pretty bushy and long back then and it fit! Take heart, think of all the smiles you are putting on faces this time of year, and don't fret that they're not 22 yr. old blondes with long legs!

Tim Higgins said...

Sure, somebody's gotta make hair jokes now!

Not only is my self-esteem suffering, but you are telling me that I am not reaching part of my target audience. For someone with a background in sales and marketing, this is truly disheartening.

Hooda Thunkit said...


I'm still a bit confused by this, although I can certainly understand the need to seek employment to dutifully pay your egregious new tax burden.

You and Victoria's Secret though seem to to be more of an attempt to fulfill some sort of long festering letcher/perv fantasy under the guise of spreading some Christmas holiday cheer and merriment while making yourself a bit difficult to pick out in a police line-up.

Is that about right, or am I missing something here?


Tim Higgins said...


Your penetrating wit and insight here do you credit, and I might have gotten away with this if they hadn't been pointed in my direction.

I will be giving up my quest for a 2nd job this year, so as not to replace the photograph currently hanging in the Post Office. (Besides, I couldn't get the interview with Les Wexner anyway.) I will instead be forced to find other outlets to help me spread the Christmas cheer.

Gee, I wonder if Guinness has ever considered doing a special Holiday campaign. I will have to look into that ...