Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Alcohol & Evolution

I am both amazed and amused that the mating rituals for human beings in Western Civilization (or what passes for it) should be mostly performed in places that serve alcohol. 

My first thought on the subject was that it might have something to do with the fact that the complexity in our society, combined with the confusing sexual inhibitions that we have burdened ourselves with over the years, has forced us to seek release from these conflicting imperatives through the use of adult beverages to facilitate the mating process. (My second thought was that my first thought was too long and complicated and needed to go away.) 

It none the less seems strange to me that the course of human evolution has brought us to a point where we judge suitability in potential mating partners on some instinctive level by watching them make idiots of themselves through the consumption of intoxicating beverages and the exhibiting of the immature behavior that usually follows.  

Don't get me wrong, I make no judgement of such consumption. I have freely admitted to the use of these ethanol based beverages, and in my youth even did so while pursuing a mate. I have to wonder though, what impact the process of killing brain cells through the consumption of alcohol (see "Drinking Makes Me Smarter") has on the ability to sustain a relationship? 

(The implications here could be staggering and may account in part for two women out there who no longer want to be married to me.) 

Could the shirt flip or the practice of mooning be considered survival traits in the gene pool today (and does that make it the shallow end)? While we are at it, why not ask ourselves whether the Jello Shot and the Jaegger Bomb are the most suitable lubrication for the process of the procreation of the species. 

One can't help but wonder whether this is the test that the species needs for proof of the "Survival of the Fittest"? Is this truly part of the grand plan of Evolution; and if it is, what are we trying to evolve into? I can't help but realize that we may have crawled out on a branch of the evolutionary tree that won't carry our weight, if it isn't a dead end anyway. If there is a method to this madness, it must be far beyond my comprehension (as much of life is). I am therefore forced to conclude the following: 

Move over dinosaurs and dodo birds, we're on our way!

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