Santa Letter - 2017

Santa Claus

c/o North Pole

Dear Santa,

I Know that it seems  to nave been a long time since I have written you (time being, of course, a relative term to somebody with your lifespan), but I am writing again a bit these days.  However my scrawling's often take more than their normal time to decipher ... and you were on my short list.  

It's probably a bit soon to be writing yet, this early in the year anyway, but though Halloween has yet to occur, I could not help myself (even with my pitiful my attempts on with the keyboard makes) are not what they used to be … so I perhaps I had better start the process a bit early this year, in the hopes that I could get this, at least in some part, complete in what seems a timely fashion. 
(A more timely fashion for some of us than what it used to be, I admit.)

Please note (but only carefully however) that there are still many, on both sides of the political aisle, who probably should be on the 'naughty' list these days if they are not already (and who could use a heat producing mineral in their stocking), but creating such a lengthy list (let alone wasting the time involved by checking on them twice) seems like a worrisome task for anyone in the circumstance.  With all the cities that I have lived in over the years, the whole process is even more confusing, and the list potentially even more cumbersome. 

Besides, it's likely that Karma will eventually catch up with all of them eventually anyway, so why let your group take any heat for their eventual downward slide.  I hope that while many (Ok, maybe all) are likely to be in that category anyway, but you' can still give them a seasonal break whether they deserve it or not.  (I have no idea how you've managed to get this done over the years, and seemingly every year for one reason or another; and I thank you for the consideration that you are willing to give because of  requests, though you (or they) certainly don't owe me anything.)

Do the best you can as well for my kids and grandkids, (as you always have) and I will be appreciative for whatever you manage to bestow on them.  (As I you know, I will be trying to do trying to the same for them as well.)  I know that this approaching time is supposed to be all about them after all (in spite of what the commercials will soon be saying about cars and jewelry), and in spite of all the normal seasonal craziness  that's going on recently.

I hope perhaps it still will manage to be as so as much as it can.

For myself however, I find that I have nothing on my list that I really need (a crumpled Post-it note somewhere ... no more, no less) which I won't be able to pass on due to you due to numerous personal handwriting problems  (which is, after all, what this effort was supposed to be about originally.)  In truth, I recently had some help in reducing my personal inventory (and my personal relative size), and I have no urge to see either begin to reach their former levels. 

You probably have an overabundance of such requests on unnecessary things from other folks with lists that I'm sure will help the elves keep busy enough in the time available.  So in order to fill this time of year, as the Holiday season approaches; please forget any personal article you that you might think I want , but shouldn't really need anyway. 

You will  notice of course (this year) a further notation that my address has recently changed (and is about to again, so they tell me), but I'm sure you know what you need to do in order to find it.  The new digs will no doubt be as welcoming as the old ones were, if you get a chance ...  or just want to stop by and hang out for a bit.  I will probably have to do some work on the egg nog and snack requirements as required, but that's OK with me.

By the way, I shaved off the beard in recent days, not only to avoid potential seasonal job offers and confusion, but also as an unusual change of pace from my usual appearance.  The changes are something that you might find entertaining, if not amusing.  

Mostly however, I look forward to the chance of getting together again.


Best Seasonal Wishes,

Tim

Seasonal Employments Hope Abandoned

Long ago, in the last century anyway,  I had a cross country coach who taught me how to properly prepare and run a race.  He must have succeeded in his lessons, since I set the freshman record for cross country that year.  Later in that year, he told me that I would need to make a choice between running and the hockey that I was playing at the time.

I not only left running, but the school that I was in at the end of that year.  I went on to Mount Carmel High School in Chicago, where I not only got a better education, but continued to play hockey for three years at an amateur level, and at a high school level.

Of course I also managed to break my nose a couple of times, cracked a few ribs. eventually lost a tooth when a stick was smashed across my face, and fractured the patella in my left knee.

Smart people often tell you smart, and perfectly good things, at the wrong time, and for the wrong reason; ending up with achieving the goal that they least desire.

My hope is that this introductory piece is not just such a misguided effort  ...

                                                 ------------------------------------------------

With Labor Day now behind us, we have Halloween, Thanksgiving, and of course, Christmas (or Hanukkah) to look forward to.  My plans for the Holidays may have changed however, owing to time and circumstance.  There was once a time, in fact, when by now, I was already hoping for an application as a 'Santa Substitute' (perhaps for "Victoria's Secret").  Of course there wasn't much actual  hope in obtaining such a position, in spite of the fact that my girth had been increasing on a regular basis for a number of years, and my hair and beard were achieving a 'uniform monochromatic color' without the use of any dyes. 

My status with the Social Security Bureau however changed a great deal during the intervening period  (no explanation required or forthcoming).  Though my hair color has remained its largely its monochromatic color,  my girth has been decreasing steadily in recent days (through no fault of my own, believe me).

Further change potentially occurred when I relocated back to Columbus, Ohio.  Of course, having moved from Chicago, to Kansas City (the first time), to Columbus (also the first time), to Cleveland (for the job), to LaGrange, Georgia, to Toledo (all again for the job), back to Kansas City, and now back into Columbus; one might say that I am a well traveled man by moving companies alone.

Greater still is the information that has now determined that there are over ninety choices available in terms of gender.  (I have been out of circulation a bit, OK I guess.)  Now having grown up in the Dark Days when there were only two (this was right after Gutenberg invented movable type), I found that these new and apparently limitless possibilities to be rather confusing.  (I can't even imagine the consternation that it might have caused with patrons at Victoria's Secret.)  Before any application could be received (or as usual .... not), I was forced to reject it, or even consider it.

One cannot but note in passing, that if  such rules had been followed during 'Old Testament' times, that Noah might have needed a bigger boat to work with.

(I'm just saying  ...)

Imagine then my concern however, when I realized could that with over ninety choices in the potential recommendation list of gifts, it would be a nearly impossible task. The potential hazard of faulty choices could increase disappointment of those involved (the parents, not the children); if not ultimately produce potential personal litigation.

I am now faced with the choice of either a early seasonal reduction of the size of the beard, the removal thereof; or to face the disappointed looks of  nearby 'crumb crunchers' for months to come over my appearance.  (The potential of disappointed patrons of Victoria's Secret is something that I have yet to consider the ramifications!)  Acceptance of such supposed 'theories' (which have yet to show me proof and are liable to change) leaves me in a position where I don't know whether I want to scream, laugh hysterically, or both ... alternately.

Since I no longer have a column for a weekly in a newspaper, nor a career in connecting the printing press with the loading dock at a daily newspapers, nor even one of selling machines that put inserts into newspapers, nor even one as simple as putting magazines together with staples or selling machines that do  (I used to pump gas and check oil years ago as well, but remember we're talking about the last century); the problem of reaching answers to these somewhat amazing, but terribly amusing situations is weighing even more so on me than the current issues political issues of the Middle East, in North Korea, or in which of out last Presidential candidates is in the most trouble with the Congress, the Mainstream Media, or the FBI, (or all three).

Now I haven't done much of this blogging in a couple of years; and in the time since, have learned that my judgment on many things may, in fact, be far from sound ... through lack of regular use (though I ultimately believe in it).  It gives me cause to question such things and obtain (and test) other opinions.  Now I have always been willing to listen to such things, but never been known for requiring as to them.  Now I may have to try to give it a shot ... in proof that I have changed positively (at least this once). 

I'm not a big fan of encouraging turning random control while writing mode, but what the hell.  So while the floor appears to be open, take your best shot ...

He's Back!

It seems. at least according to the movie previews, that 2017 may be the year of the comeback!  At least that's what we should probably take from all of the re-makes, updates, prequels, and sequels that follow all of the latest movies either in production,  or those preparing to be shown in theatres around the country. 

Having previously abandoned my so-called electronic life for some period of time (and for what I felt was a good reason), I now find myself with the urge to participate once again in this circus of life, and to perhaps emerge from this previously static state.

(And such a return seems strangely appropriate during this last Hallmark Holiday of the Summer).

My absence from such pursuits has had a good reasons for occurring.  I had some recent health situations (that do not bear repeating, even under torture believe me); and the dull-witted excuses I may have long used as an excuse, may in fact, may have become part of the actual reasons for the problem. 

Never allowing reason (in however misguided  a form it might seem) to get in the way of anything that I might do or say however, I have put out a call (figurative, of course) to the now largely separated staff of "Just Blowing Smoke (those formerly locked in the attic in Toledo, OH or Mission, KS)  to see if an occasional effort of 're-integration' might be possible.  Having no will of their own (let along a mind) a number of them have agreed, and I think we can entice most of the rest to do so, once we find them (in their various haunts).

It is therefore my intention to do so. And in the spirit that all things eventually come back (even the bad movies), to re-open this blog as a consequence.

It's probably not fair at this point to comment too much about any politics (but I'm sure that I probably will anyway).  I also promise to bring back anything and everything else that suits my fancy at any time or need that it requires.  I hope that you will be able to enjoy these latest efforts, and will forgive me for the use of  mental muscles that have probably gotten flabby from long disuse.