Saturday, August 29, 2009

Side Effects

I have at long last come to believe that the pharmaceutical companies are one of the true banes of Mankind. This is not to say that I have bought into the conspiracy theory that they are charging too much and making obscene profits from the treatment and cure of disease, or that I have drunk the Kool-Aid and now agree that they are in a secret conspiracy to defraud the public while secretly keeping the cure for cancer or some other such disease from us. No, their crime against humanity is much more grievous in type and insidious in nature than that. 

That crime, for those of you too busy watching the TiVo reruns of the "X-Files" or "The Daily Show" instead of news stories, is that somehow these evil doers have convinced us to take their medications, the side effects of which are far more scary, painful, and humiliating than the conditions which they purport to treat; even after they've informed us in their commercials of the true nature and gory details of those effects. 

In the process of treating things like depression, addiction to cigarettes, or erectile dysfunction they are exposing us to other conditions of a far more serious nature. (I know, I know, what could be more serious than erectile dysfunction?) I mean come on people, who wants to be cured of nicotine addiction with the side effects of depression, loss of will to live, or suicidal thoughts. 

Speaking of depression, what does it mean about a product that treats such a condition when its side effects include continued thoughts of depression or suicidal thoughts. (Is it just me, or does it seem to you that such side effects actually mean that the medicine isn't working?) 

And as to erectile dysfunction, even if you had the side effects, how would you find the strength of character to admit them? Who is going to the Emergency room to report that they have been able to perform sexually for over four hours, and continue to remain ready to do so? (Other perhaps, than the exhausted partner of such a potential patient, of course.) 

And lest we believe that these are not the only conditions that we have to look forward to in our moments of physical weakness as we submit ourselves to the tender mercies of these Marquis de Sades, let me go on. Rashes, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, and anal leakage wait just around the corner for those of us willing to place our health in the hands of these so-called miracles of modern medicine. 

I have to ask myself whether such travesties of medical science will be allowed to continue under whatever surfaces from the ongoing health care debate. Will a government, never very good at predicting nor capable of dealing with the unintended consequences of their actions be able to cope with the licensed dispensing of the chemicals that the health care industry suggests we ingest? What will they be and how can such government health care hope to handle the "side effects". 

5 comments:

Hooda Thunkit (Dave Zawodny) said...

Tim,

[tin foil hat on]
I ask you this, why is it that there are so many drugs on the market that control but do not cure an affliction/disease, but have side effects, which coincidentally, they also have drugs to treat/suppress, but again, not cure?

And, should you require several medications to control/suppress multiple problems, the side effects "magically" multiply geometrically. . .

Tim Higgins said...

Dave,

Your vision (obviously unmedicated) serves you far too well. No one wants to either kill or cure the golden goose.

Besides, these pharmaceutical companies know their market far too well. Most people don't want to get better, they just want to feel better.

Judy said...

One thing I have always said is, it is not cost effective to find a cure for the common cold! Just think of the jobs that would be lost and companies that would fold if the cure was found! On another note, there is a medication for those of us that suffer from Vertigo, but one of the side effects is it causes dizziness, DUH!

Roland Hansen said...

Pfizer is now paying a high price for its illegal business practices, but those yo-yos will just pass all of the financial costs on to us consumers. I say some pharmaceutical corporate executives should go to jail.

Tim Higgins said...

Roland,

I am on your side and willing to the those buggers into the same jail that we throw the legislators trying to mangle health care into.