TFP Column: Toledo - Real Estate Entrepreneur

(Contrary to all logic and reason, I have decided to put new material up on this blog, but only in the form of the columns that I have done for the Toledo Free Press.  This is done for the benefit of those with time to waste, who likewise do not spend their time reading the website of this award winning weekly newspaper, and I will go back and add efforts that were published earlier this year.)

This particular effort was published on 07/21/2014.

When the story broke that the City of Toledo might become its own landlord, I immediately offered my services to Toledo Free Press Editor-in-Chief Michael Miller:

“Permit me the time to carefully gather and analyze the facts and figures involved with this situation and I will deliver to you the finest effort that I’ve ever done for the Toledo Free Press.”

Oh sure, setting the bar this low makes the goal far too easily attainable, but I could not let that deter me.

I spent countless hours over endless columns of figures that made little sense to me and would likely have made the most dedicated IRS auditor catatonic. I tirelessly dedicated myself to interpreting market trends that even Donald Trump would find all but impossible to decipher.

Half blind from lack of sleep, nerves jumbled from too much time attempting to live on a diet of coffee and Snickers bars, and terrified by the implications of the material that I had thus far digested, the answer struck me in the wee hours of the morning when I least expected it, like the lightning bolt that struck the jackass in “Sergeant York” (which seemed a strangely appropriate metaphor).

Of course the city should not be permitted to become its own real estate agent and purchase One Government Center. The logic was as simple as it was brilliant; the reasoning as inarguable as it was definitive.

Oh, it was not about decades that showed an unblemished record of abject failure in real estate market speculation under every administration in Glass City history. Such a conclusion could be reached almost intuitively, and a more satisfactory form of closure was required. Speaking of history and failure, however, neither was it about the State of Ohio’s documented history of minimal maintenance over the 30-year-plus history of the building that had aged this 22-story structure far beyond its years and likely put it in a state of disrepair capable of creating one of those “catastrophic and unrecoverable spins” a la Tom Cruise “Top Gun.” (Similar personal experience in the case of my own structure had taught me more than a few tragic lessons in this regard.)

It probably should have been, but wasn’t about the volatility of the Downtown Toledo real estate market during an economic recovery that remains shaky, and where the only ones still apparently making any money are the carpenters putting plywood up in the windows. This is is Toledo (“where you will do better”), where even experienced and savvy gamblers like Larry Dillin and the Chinese, playing their cards close to the vest, have feared to go ‘all in’ with what would normally appear to be winning hands in games like Southwyck or the Marina District.

It wasn’t even about the fact that even by using Common Core math principles (where 2 + 2 = 5 for some values of 2), the numbers never seemed to work out. Even if purchasing the property at a cost of $1, by the time the city completed a “property flip” on this facility that meet all of the current building codes and ADA requirements, it would likely exceed the existing current estimate of $7 million. Add in the consequences of Toledo’s liveable wage, the labor overruns that come with any government project and the inevitable yet-to-be-discovered costs that will only come to light when the project is too far along to turn back on, the real costs of Toledo’s “This Old House” fixer-upper may not only exceed the worst nightmare from this PBS show, but in a worst case scenario could conceivably approach the original $61 million construction cost.

But all of this can be set aside as not being the real reason that Toledo should not become a real estate agent and buy this building. That, in fact, was something that I only discovered late into my research.

As many of you know, government overreach is at an all time high in this nation, with bureaucratic encroachment at every level of government occurring against a largely disinterested electorate. Government in this nation is more powerful, more intrusive and more dangerous than it has even been in its history. The real reason, therefore, that the city should not be permitted this move is … the Blazers.

Government simply cannot be allowed to add to their already formidable arsenal of weapons, the power imbued in those hideously colored, horribly tacky real estate blazers. Equipped with these polyester stormtrooper uniforms, what chance has even an aroused citizenry against them?

TFP Column: The Best Defense

(Contrary to logic and reason, I have decided to put new material up on this blog, but only in the form of the columns that I have done for the Toledo Free Press.  This is done for the benefit of those with time to waste, who likewise do not spend their time reading the website of this award winning weekly newspaper, and I will go back and add efforts that were published earlier this year.)

This particular effort was published on 6/20/2014.  

One cannot help but wonder if the Blade is adopting a new "best defense is a good offense" playbook in its continuing series on the subject of Glass City blight.  Wracked with well-documented revenue losses and stinging from attacks for outsourcing its production, the timely release of a series Toledo eyesore stories might be seen as the perfect (though rather suspicious) way to deflect attention from its own bad press. 

Taking the side of local YouTube videographer EconCat88, rather than that of the Administration (which it did last time) makes the Blade appear to be on the side of the little guy.  Allying with Councilman Jack Ford (vs supposed Independent Mayor D. Michael Collins) keeps them on the good side of the Democrats who've been in power while all of this blight occurred.  As for indicting a mayor that they've long supported as part of this effort; that's likely to cost them nothing. The mayor was sooner or later going to have to throw the Blade under the bus for their abandonment of downtown, if not for the elimination of union jobs, so the current series could be seen as little more than a preemptive strike. 

Of course the best part of the series is the gift likely to keep on giving for some time. The Blade has presented to City Council a subject not even on the radar screen a month earlier.  Distracting from dismal tax revenue, pot hole problems, and without talking about water and sewer line infrastructure issues that have long since faded from public view; this subject provides new opportunities for meaningless rhetoric, useless legislation, and the potential ability to create another taxpayer-funded study or two that must make it feel like Christmas in June for those is office.

Councilman Ford certainly seems to have discovered his new calling in life, attempting to establish his final legacy by creating another useless city bureaucracy in the form of a 'blight authority' to solve a problem that was just as prevalent when both he and his successor Mayor Finkbeiner were in the Mayor's position (before he attempts to move on to Columbus). After all, there's nothing that can resolve a crisis in short order like another government bureaucrat.

The current Mayor instead would like to deflect a problem that he largely inherited from his predecessors, and instead blame the Toledo Municipal Court and Judge Allen McConnell. Judge McConnell, according to the mayor's recent statement, is dealing with over 500 affidavits filed against blighted properties by the city in just the past year. One cannot help but ask, if the impediment is the Court, why there is no discussion of additional funding and staff for what appears to be an overworked judicial system rather than adding a city bureaucracy. Equally unclear is how the Mayor's proposal of a phone app is going to magically clear the existing judicial backlog.

Wait, this is Toledo (where you'll do better)! Remind me again about how long the 'temporary income tax' has been in place as a way to artificially balance the budget. Tell me again how much were borrowing from the Capital Improvement Budget (far better suited to deal with the issue of blight in the city) and how many years we've been borrowing it.

Better still, tell me why the Blade, already suffering from an image problem on a scale that it never knew existed, hasn't proposed a charity event to raise funds in order to deal with the issue of blight instead of merely reporting on it. Tell me why City Council, having only in the last week rediscovered the issue of blight in the city, hasn't put forth the idea of dealing with the issue on a district level and on a volunteer basis. How about one or more of these elected leaders simply revisiting some of their current budget discussions and making a hard choice as to which is more important to their constituents, swimming pools or blight.

While we're at it, perhaps someone in the editorial department at the Blade might want to do a bit more research on the ownership of 'blighted properties' to make sure that some of those on the list aren't properties owned by … the Blade. While certainly not qualified to preach, I seem to recall a Biblical phrase to the effect of, “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.” (Just for the sake of editorial consistency, of course.)

Shame On You Glass City

Not currently being a resident of Lucas County in Northwest Ohio, I probably shouldn't comment on the results of this week's election.  (Such considerations however, have never stopped me before and are unlikely to now.)  It's far too early to know what these choices will mean to much of area, but there are a few things that we probably do know based on the tallies in its largest city ... Toledo.  But before I make a couple of probably inappropriate comments, let me say first and for the record:  Shame on You!

This is not a comment about the choices that you made or didn't make.  (That will come later.)  This is instead a reproach for your continued abominable voter turnout.  D. Michael Collins won the office of Mayor in the Glass City with a 56 percent margin of the 25 percent of registered voters who took the time to perform their civic responsibility.  My congratulations go out to D. Michael for the solid majority of his victory; but for those of you unwilling (or unable) to do the math, I should point out that this means that the city's next leader will take the reins of power with a mandate from 14 percent of the city's electorate.

As for the rest of the city's results, this might well be a special Toledo edition of "Silly Bits".

• With the exception of Sandy Spang, the City Council elections returned enough incumbents, retreads, and familiar names that Toledo may be eligible to receive special recognition from the environmental lobby as a political 'Green City' for its candidate recycling efforts.  Friend and fellow blogger Maggie Thurber thinks this may be an illustration of the "Stuck on Stupid" concept that she coined for so much of what goes on in local government (one that was later co-opted by the lazy lexicographers of the SOS Dictionary here at "Just Blowing Smoke").  I cannot disagree with that discerning assessment, but tend to see it myself as a return to Toledo's "SSDD" philosophy (Same Shit, Different Day), one that has served it so poorly for decades. 
• With D. Michael Collin ascension to the title of Mayor, his City Council position will require that a replacement be appointed by sitting members.  There's a rumor that former Mayor Carty Finkbeiner is seeking that Council position and the chance to join former Mayor and newly elected council member Jack Ford.  For all the hard times that Toledo has fallen on and all those who have abandoned the city for one reason or another (yours truly included, though my departure was not entirely voluntary), certainly there must be someone out there with a pulse that can serve better in this capacity than this former object of municipal embarrassment.  If Carty wants to get more than his retirement pay from the city, let him walk in through the front door of the electoral process by running for office and not try to sneak in through the back door of political favoritism.
• My own efforts in the blogging world and those of many I know, have been relatively silent in their criticism of the Mayor's office during the term of Mike Bell.  You may not have agreed with everything Mike Bell said or did, but it was difficult to argue his selfless and sincere desire for the City's improvement, and the logic of his thought processes.  I suspect that the Collins Administration will not see such peace and quiet remain.  This is nothing against D. Michael Collins personally, as I believe that he's an honest guy who says what he believes.  That being said, I have a suspicion that the direction the city will take is one that some of us with more conservative principles will have something to say on.

I'd like to tell you that I paid attention to the other local races, school board elections, and levies were on the ballot this year, but I was prevented on getting too far by the pay wall recently installed on the website of the daily newspaper.  It was just as well however, as the depressing nature of the results that I was able to gather had me pulling up the covers over my head and seeking the comfort of my bed far earlier that I normally would on an election night.

"When you're a child, you believe that monsters are hiding under your bed. When you grow up, you often discover that same bed to be the only place left to hide from them."
- me 


The good news that one can take in retrospect from the election, for those of us scribbling in the wilderness of politics and looking at the days ahead, is that it seems likely that Toledo will return to being the classic 'target-rich' environment that we've all come to know and love.  I believe that the Glass City's Mayor and City Council are likely to be a lively bunch and one worth keeping an eye on.

But let me end on this the day after the election by saying congratulations to the winners, condolences to the losers, and 'Shame on You' to all of you who refused to give up even the small enough period of your Reality Show schedule, Facebook chatting, and pure laziness to take part in the electoral process.
  

Charity Begins In Government

I'd like to do dedicate a little ink (metaphorically of course) in a mid-week post this week to my friends in the Glass City.  You know who you are (Maggie Thurber).  You're the ones concerned (if not justifiably outraged) over the fact that your City Council is perfectly willing to donate tax dollars that don't belong to them to worthy causes, yet those very same elected officials seem unconcerned at their utter lack of personal contribution to these same supposedly laudable groups.  

I'm sure that knowing of your charitable nature, many of you can't help but feel warm (if not downright ill) inside to know that while you live in a city that's been balancing their budgets in ways that would make double entry bookkeepers weep in envy; the stewards of your public funding can still find it in their hearts to support those who come to them cap in hand.  Short of funds they may be, but apparently long on votes.  It must be inspiring to know that the same people begging to take money each year from the Capital Improvements Budget to balance the General Fund can still find it in their hearts to donate from that Fund that the city has none to spare.   It must make you feel all warm and fuzzy to hear the same elected officials who complain of a lack of funding for proper police and fire protection calmly dispense public checks to private charities.

While you're basking in the smug and self-satisfied feeling that comes from watching these fiscal watchdogs rob Peter to pay Paul (curious, when you're Peter) I must tell you however that Toledo's well-known level of public generosity may soon need to stand in line.  For this November, it's the intention of Jackson County, Missouri (Kansas City) to place a measure on the ballot which would create a 20-year, half-cent sales tax.  Now while county sales tax proposals are certainly nothing new to those in Toledo, the potentially laudable goal of this particular one might be viewed as rather unique (and potentially scary).

If passed, the expected $40 million in annual revenues would go to equip and provide staff to ... wait for it ... medical research.  Kansas City's Children's Mercy hospital would reap some $20 million, with at least another $8 million to go to both St Luke's hospital and the University of Missouri at Kansas City.  All three of these entities already receive private donations (tax-deductible, BTW) for such purposes, but it's thought that such major funding escalation would allow them to increase the size of their research programs, as well as to allow them to recruit top scientists for the effort.   (I wouldn't at all be surprised!)

Let me say first that medical research is a truly laudable endeavor, and one that I support through personal contribution.  But what kind of research are we talking about you here might ask.  "Why, medical research of course," (he said in his best Bill Murray "Stripes" imitation).  Actually, the particular type of research that will be supported by this funding hasn't been defined by those promoting the tax.  It could be anything from a cure for cancer or AIDS to one that's really important, like a cure for the common cold.  (It might even be Alzheimer's research, but I don't remember.)  Of course, it could be that they don't want to go into too much detail, since knowing what the money would go for might make such a taxpayer donation less charitable.   According to a piece in the Kansas City Star though, "Backers of the proposed county tax say it is adequate to make a major difference, medically and economically."   (my added emphasis)
  
Not surprisingly Kansas City's Mayor and City Council are fully behind this ballot effort.  After all, not only is none of it money from city coffers, but a specific tax like this one doesn't prevent the city from future tax request efforts for project it already has in mind like expansion of the recently approved $100 million, two mile-long streetcar system or the proposed $1.2 billion dollar airport terminal improvement project.  Oh sure, KC could use more police and fire protection as much as Toledo, has their own water and sewer system issues, and has a backlog of street repairs waiting; but pursuing such concerns wouldn't provide the same warm glow as supporting such worthy causes.  Sure, the three largest private foundations in the area could come up with $36 of the $40 million just by setting aside 1% of their assets (again according the the KC Star); but wouldn't that make the taxpayers feel ungenerous by comparison.

Besides, supporters of the tax tell us that if any of this research bears fruit, taxpayers will share in the rewards reaped by it.  Of course their not saying what our share of such research would actually be, but wouldn't taxpayers seem greedy for asking what their cut of this undetermined research would be before committing to funding it for the next 20 years?

Sorry Toledo.  It's not that you haven't shown yourself unfailingly charitable during some of the toughest economic times that any part of the nation has had to face.  Let's face it, you've failed to turn down any but the most ridiculous of tax requests over the years, and your continued tacit support of the city council regularly giving away the money they've torn from your grasp through taxation has all but redefined 'giving til it hurts'.  Kansas City however apparently seems fully ready to raise the bar on both the level of largess and the ridiculous nature of giving.  Like you, their generosity seems to know no bounds (or common sense) and their willingness to tax themselves to provide it apparently knows no limits.  As in the Glass City, here in the City of Fountains, it seems that Charity begins in government.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I am compelled to admit with a sense of mean-spirited gratitude and of greedy self-satisfaction that I live in Johnson County, Kansas and not Jackson County, Missouri.

    

Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/2013/09/16/4486667/surprising-opponent-to-jackson.html#storylink=cpy

Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/2013/09/16/4486667/surprising-opponent-to-jackson.html#storylink=cpy

TFP Column: The Seventy Percent Solution

What in the world could a Sherlock Holmes tale written in 1974 by Nicholas Meyer (also famous for his contributions to 'Star Trek') have to do with the water and sewer systems in Toledo, OH?  Surprisingly enough, the relationship is elementary.  If you haven't figured it out however, you're going have to read this week's effort for the TFP, "The Seventy Percent Solution". 

While it has nothing to do with the subject of my effort ... being that this is Mother's Day weekend, you have to believe that the TFP will be extensively covering covering this most important of holidays.  I would be willing to bet that there might even be a few other subjects worthy of your attention that will be delved into as well.

But what would you expect from Toledo's largest circulation Sunday edition, and something that's been Ohio's best weekly newspaper for the last four years.  Of course I'm talking about nothing other than the Toledo Free Press.

TFP Column: Congress Is Indeed Exceptional

This week's TFP effort takes a look at the exceptional nature of our national legislature.  And no, this probably doesn't mean what you think it does.  That being the case, you'll have to read "Congress Is Indeed Exceptional" to find out what I did mean.

Meanwhile, the TFP Star edition is already out this week with a lot of information on the weekend opening of "Iron Man 3".  If that isn't enough to tempt you onto the TFP website, you're only days away from the weekend edition of Toledo's largest circulation Sunday newspaper, a paper that's been voted the best weekly paper in the state for the last four years. 

Of course that could be nothing other than the Toledo Free Press.

TFP Column: Does Size Matter

Governor Snyder is getting ready to name someone to take over the financial affairs of Detroit, since they've managed their money so badly that they're $20 billion in debt.  California and Illinois are sinking financially like they've struck an iceberg, and the country as a whole is likely to reach a $20 trillion deficit before the current occupant of the White House leaves it in four years.

All of this got me thinking about when and whether these larger government designations might also be thinking about the appointment of someone to more effectively watch they budgets.  I also wondered whether it would even be legal for them to do so.  All of this thinking and wondering led to some writing, in the form "Does Size Matter?" for the TFP website.

Fortunately for me, the TFP is in far better financial shape than any of these governments entities, so when you click on the enclosed link, you will be able to read this effort.  Even more fortunate is that having read it, you can then move on to all the information available to keep you up-to-date with NW Ohio and the Glass City.

So as this first full week of March comes about, don't forget to spend a bit of time with both the mid-week Star Edition and the regular weekend Edition of the largest Sunday circulation newspaper not only in Toledo, but in Lucas Country as well.  And if that weren't enough, you'll also be able to read Ohio's Best weekly newspaper for the last four years (at least according to the Ohio Society for Professional Journalism), the Toledo Free Press.

 

TFP Column: Naughty and Nice ....

There's some button busting going on here at "Just Blowing Smoke" (and not just because my latest diet isn't working out as planned).  It's seems that I've not only made the print version of this weekend's TFP with an extended bit of nonsense (a rare enough occurrence with all the great competition out there for column space), but because a Don Lee caricature of yours truly graces the edition's front cover.  

As some might remember, I sometimes get letters from the Post Office that are misdirected from another rather large, white-bearded gentleman this time of year (which this year I believe was done with a purpose).   Since the big guy himself gave me permission to read and use some of these missives to the North Pole "Naughty and Nice ..."  resulted.  The effort, which gave me some insight into gift requests and their likelihood of delivery for some of the members of local government in Toledo, will hopefully prove as much fun for you to read as it did for me to write.

When you're through admiring an image which is far too flattering (though it does get the wrinkles right) and catching up on who's really been naughty and nice in the Glass City, I'm sure that you'll find more than a little Christmas cheer in this weekend's effort to put you in the proper frame of mind for the holiday season. 

So while you're recovering from those workplace Christmas parties and preparing for the imminent arrival of a reindeer-driven sleigh, make sure to keep up with Toledo's holiday happenings in Toledo's largest Sunday circulation and Ohio's best weekly newspaper (for so many years that people are beginning to lose count), The Toledo Free Press.              

This Town Ain't Big Enough

Brian Wilson and Toledo's 1370 WSPD very quietly announced this week that they have parted company.  Nobody at the station is saying much, and Brian has remained almost surprisingly silent on the subject.  Brian was not only doing a three hour show in the afternoon, but was also the Program Director and News Director (a post that his wife Cassie formerly held), which leaves some rather large gaps on the station's personnel roster.

Now I would like to consider Brian a friend, though I'm sure that there are many across the country who would like to make a similar claim; and most of whom are of far greater stature and importance that this humble scribbler.  To present a bit of unimportant history ...

My own introduction came not long after moving to the Glass City, finding the show, and calling in a time or two.  I met Brian (along with his producer at the time, Phil McGeehan) soon after when he spoke at one of the first gatherings of an attempt to start a Lucas County Libertarian Party.  He spoke passionately and intelligently about his own 'small l' Libertarian values and beliefs, helping me to reconcile my own principles with a political system that I long felt had long since abandoned me.

We spoke briefly that evening, and occasionally continued to exchange information during the show, even while I was traveling around the US pursuing my own career.  As time passed, Brian, Phil and I even managed to get together once in a while for an adult beverage and additional conversation on the issues of the day when I made it home.  (I was even fortunate enough to meet his wife Cassie a couple of times.)  His recommended reading list, both off the show and on, proved a tremendous source of education to me not only on basic principles, but on being able to argue them from a logical and consistent perspective.  I was even allowed me to serve as the guest host of the one hour "Eye on Toledo" show with his permission a couple of times when Maggie Thurber (whose show it was at the time) took some well-deserved time away.  

I have to stop briefly here and acknowledge that I would probably not survived these experiences without the incredible amount of assistance provided at the time by Dr Phil McGeehan and 'Shaggy' Matt Culbreath, nor of the encouragement of Maggie Thurber to take on the opportunity.               

Even after leaving Toledo some years back, I continued to listen to WSPD for Brian's show most days, as well as that of Fred Lefebvre (which I still do) when I can get the webcasts to work.  I found myself keeping up with my former home through them, writing them, and occasionally calling in to make my two cents known; which is what talk radio is all about.  I likewise shared emails with Brian from time to time, continuing what I hoped was a friendship, even though it had become a long distance one.  I had no foreboding on how this situation came to pass; even after it did. 

I have yet to hear any tales of what really happened from him, though I suspect that it has to do with something to the painful budget realities that I experienced with regards to the newspaper industry a few years back, and which now is becoming more common for radio.  More's the pity, for while most of us doing our jobs are literally a dime a dozen, Brian neither was nor is.  Perhaps someday we will get a chance to again lift a glass with him, share that sentiment in person, and learn the story behind the story.  It ought to be a good one.  So while there's nothing that I know about the situation definitively, here's what I 'think' I do know.

1370 WSPD will be significantly diminished in stature and content by Brian's departure, as will the programming of talk radio in Northwest Ohio.  Not only was his a clear voice articulating the message of freedom and personal responsibility in Ohio, as he had in other places; but he was able to bring nationally-known, authoritative guests to a small market radio station in order to enhance that message and reinforce those principles.  I don't know if WSPD will attempt to bring in another host, or fill this show in with some nationally syndicated effort.  Regardless of what they do however, any effort they make is likely to suffer by comparison.

I have little fear for Brian, as with his ability, his credentials, and his industry contacts, I'm feel sure that he will continue to succeed. (Oops sorry.  Brian taught me to think, not feel.  I'm afraid I'm already back-sliding)  It's a shame for Toledo however, whose daily paper suffers from the dearth of leadership of an absentee landlord, a terminal lack of credibility, and editorial bigotry that foretells its ultimate doom.  A city whose only salvation now for something other than the Progressive Party line handed out by the Blade may be the efforts of its competition, a twice-weekly newspaper.  And a city whose other media outlets, though they sometimes consider presenting a less liberal, union authorized point of view; appear unwilling or unable to stand against the history of thuggery perpetrated by these often vindictive and controlling city influences of a decades long, single-party rule.

I will continue to listen to Fred in the morning whenever I can, but even with his valiant efforts continuing, WSPD will never be the same.  I fear that the truth of the matter is that Toledo may never really have been big enough for Brian Wilson in the first place.  With Brian's departure however, its odds of ever becoming so just went down significantly.   


     

TFP Column: Sporting Toledo

Many are looking forward with great anticipation to the baseball playoff season (though with the Cubs at 29-1/2 out of their division lead, me ... not so much).  Others look forward to the beginning of college football rivalries, with the season opener for the Fight Irish of Notre Dame occurring in Ireland against Navy.  Others still watch pre-season NFL football, and hold out hope for a better season than last (and that the real refs will get back to work soon).

Many however, anticipate the climax of the Republican convention or the beginning of the Democratic one, when candidates will ramp up the rhetoric to a fever pitch in the hope of their team winning the big one in November.

In Toledo however, sports and politics have combined into an event unique to the Glass City.  While the initial rounds (and maybe the game itself) may be over, it's worth a little time to review some play-by-play (though without the Sportscenter video) as City Councilman Steve Steel participated in a little "Contribution Hold-'em" at One Government Center.  Call it what sport you will (I certainly threw every one I could think of at it), there's no denying that the one-on-one match up outlined in "Sporting Toledo" was a unique one.

What's not unique however, is that you will only find the kind of hard hitting coverage you yearn for in the website of Toledo's largest Sunday circulation and Ohio's Best Weekly Newspaper (now for the fourth year in a row), the Toledo Free Press.

The Sailor's Life For Me 2012

Seeing some of the great pictures that Maggie Thurber posted in her blog "Thurber's Thoughts" on the Glass City's Navy Week took me back some five years ago on one of the last occasions that the Niagra visited Toledo.  I decided to drag out that old post and clean up some of the typos and grammatical errors in order to share it with some of you who may not have been reading "Just Blowing Smoke" back in those days (unlike today, when most of you are not reading "Just Blowing Smoke").  I hope that it, like Maggie's pictures, intrigues you enough to want to see and learn more.

I was in downtown Toledo in July of 2007 while the Niagara happened to be paying the city a visit. The Niagara is a replica of a Great Lakes brig built around the time of the War of 1812 (with a few timbers of the original actually used).  Fortunately for me, the group that had brought the ship to Toledo was also providing guided tours of the ship.  Being surrounded by the reality of this ship took me back to many of the seafaring novels that I had read years before by Alexander Kent and Patrick O'Brien, and of the purported romance of those gallant days of high adventure.  Being able to see their reality was also a brutal reminder of the conditions that sailors dealt with during this period in history. Banging my head a number of times as I walked below decks persuaded me that sharing some part of their pain with you might be of some value. So here in brief, is my take on the life a sailor in the British Navy (and many others) during the "Golden Age of Sail".

 *  Most of the common sailors were either debtors, criminals, or "impressed". This final term usually meant that they had been kidnapped by "press gangs" who either got them drunk or simply bashed them on the head before taking them to their ship, or were captured when a British ship defeated theirs in battle; regardless of whether it was a combatant or non-combatant in Britain's war with France at the time, and whether it was a military or merchant vessel. (The British practice of doing this to American ships was one of the reasons over which the War of 1812 was fought.)   

 *  Terms of service were undefined, but normally lasted for years, or until hostilities ended (whichever came last).

 *  Leave was non-existent or at the very least restricted, as these mostly kidnapped sailors would desert if given half a chance.

 *  Storage of provisions was as good as it could be at the time, but that was mostly horrible. Most of those at sea were often very shortly on rations that consisted of poorly salted meats, bread that contained maggots, and water that had gone rancid in the barrels.  (Remember that rations were issue to ships by 'shiny pants' government bureaucrats who in spite of their responsibilities, granted proper supplies only when bribed, usually by the ship's captain.  The graft and outright thievery of these government officials was as appalling then as it can be now.)

 *  The ships of the time were exceptionally small when considered against those of a modern navy and were often on the verge of being top-heavy from the weight of the cannons they carried. Hulls were often crusted over with barnacles that slowed them down enough to make them easier targets and leaked badly enough to require the constant maintenance of stuffing rags or wedges between their boards so that the bilge pumps could stay ahead of the water leaking in.  These vessels were always on the verge of capsizing at worst, and rolling horrifically at best, as were undoubtedly the stomachs of those on them - especially during storms.

 *  Most of the sailors' duties consisted of working with the sails. This involved climbing into the air a couple of hundred feet into rope rigging that found them swaying 30 feet and more from side to side with the rolling of the ship; while trying to man-handle heavy tackle and canvas in order to properly control the ship. The expression of the time was, "One hand for the ship, and one for yourself".

 *  When your duties didn't involve such indirect attempts being made to kill you above deck in the rigging, you got to spend your days scrubbing those decks with stones in order to maintain them, spending hours on your knees in the blistering sun. 

 *  Discipline was extremely strict (especially by today's standards), and usually involved being put on bread and water (which did wonders for your digestive system) or a having the skin peeled from your back by being beat with a bunch of leather strips with knots at the end that had been soaked in seawater to harden them (a cat o' nine tails).

 *  Sleeping arrangements consisted of a hammock, approximately 18" wide where you ended up sleeping side by side.  You were literally packed shoulder to shoulder with the rest of the crew, who like you, hadn't had a chance to bathe in some time. These hammocks had multiple uses however, as they also served as burial shrouds should you make the ultimate sacrifice for ship and country. (Curiously and by tradition, the last stitch made in your burial shroud was made through your lip or nose to make sure that you were actually dead.)  

 *  When the mind-numbing labor and mindless tedium of the everyday existence sailing was interrupted by battle with another ship or ground fortifications, these same sailors found themselves faced with: grape shot (a cannon used like a giant shotgun), chain or bar shot (two small cannon balls connected by a chain or bar) and used to attempt to bring the masts and rigging down on their heads, or being skewered by the splinters from the impact of solid shot on the wood of the vessels on which they served.

 *  Wounds suffered from these battles were treated by "doctors" who were usually of the worst possible kind, often barely better than butchers. If you didn't die bleeding to death before being finally treated, you normally faced some form of amputation (without anesthetic) to staunch the wound.     

 *  Thereafter, if you didn't die of infection (sterilization was not particularly well known at the time), you faced the rest of the voyage (and no doubt your life) without a limb, and without the wonderful prosthetic devices that are available today. 

 *  When your term of service (usually the war) was finally over, you were cut loose in a heartbeat at whatever port the ship finally ended up in, usually without any kind of pension. 

Now, just so you don't think that there was no bright side to this equation, there were some perks to this rather brutal existence.  For example, each sailor was issued a "Rum Ration" every day which consisted of a mug of liquor purported to be five times more powerful than what we distill today. (in other words, they sailed in a state of almost constant inebriation). Of course they usually mixed their rations with the water (which was the only way to kill the bugs growing in it by then), but hey a drink is a drink. They were also issued clothing (at least at the beginning of the voyage) to wear on ship while serving.  In addition, while in port wives, girlfriends, and professional hostesses (hookers for those of you not politically correct) were often rowed out to the ships to help keep sailors with no liberty happy enough not to attempt desertion. In addition, many sailors were afforded the chance to win "prize money" (booty) for the ships that were captured to help supplement what was really lousy pay.

I don't know about you, but when I think on these days of high adventure and potential to travel to exotic lands in the luxury conditions like this, all I can say is that I am in awe of those who managed to survive such an experience.  Let me add as a consequence, that by neither definition of the word should they feel the need to impress me.   

TFP Column: Falling Leaves Falling Levies

Last night's marathon writing session started out as a simple attempt to do a mid-week rant, but almost as quickly as the Blob (Steve McQueen version of course) it had grown out of proportion and completely out of control; requiring topical separation surgery before it engulfed the computer I was writing in on.  The part that didn't couldn't fit on the blog here yesterday however, is linked here today for your edification and education.  Editor-In-Chief Michael Miller, in yet another example consistent misjudgment and blinding speed, had it put up on the TFP website almost before it reached him electronically.

"Falling Leaves Falling Levies" will no doubt become part of a recurring theme in the days leading up to the November election, as I try to point out some of the perils and pitfalls of these self-imposed taxes on the voting public of the Glass City.  There's a lot of smart people in the Glass City, and continuing to reach out to them with logic and reason might just sway a few voters.  Reaching out to them with half-baked humor, prose dripping with sarcasm, and barely veiled insults (you know, like I normally do) might have some effect as well. 

Speaking of smart people in the Glass City ....  All the really smart ones keep up on what's going on there and the rest of Northwest Ohio by reading Toledo's largest Sunday circulation and Ohio's best weekly newspaper for the last three years .... The Toledo Free Press     

        

TFP Column: Unsustainable

After a barely noticed respite, I am back in front of the keyboard again.  Though not a holiday in the truest sense of the word, it was at least a few days without the pressure of producing an 800-1000 word piece for the blog or the newspaper.  Speaking of which, during this all-too-brief hiatus I attended a public meeting on public transportation; an experience which might best be compared to the anticipation and performance of root canal surgery ... without anesthetic.

While the midst of contemplating suicide through a series of small but very painful paper cuts, I kept hearing an old Irving Gordon tune which at one time turned into perhaps the greatest father/daughter duet of all time (at least in my humble opinion).  The results of this recurring them became my first returning effort for the TFP, "Unsustainable".

I won't ruin the article for you by recounting any of the details of it for you, but I will tell you that I did attempt my best imitation of Bernie Taupin (the lyricist on many of Elton John's best).  Since I'm in the mood not to ruin things for you, I will also not attempt to tell you what's best in the rest of the paper as well.  This is partly because I don't want to spoil the surprise, but mostly because I simply don't know.

So if you want to know what's going on in the Glass City and Northwest Ohio this week, you're simply going to have to read the mid-week 'Star' edition; as well as Toledo's largest Sunday circulation and Ohio's best weekly newspaper, the Toledo Free Press.

You know, since I'm in such a good mood, I think I share the pleasant experience of the tune that was running through my head as inspiration.

If You Build It, They Will Come

Kansas City is a classic example of a modern Midwestern city that aspires to be oh so much more than it is.  Not content to remain a quaint little place with the nickname of "City of Fountains", they want to be a player. Like many of these urban 'wanna be's', it seeks to do so through massive infrastructure projects; hoping that by building them, something (or someone) will come.  All of these projects of course, come with a price tag, but what are such costs to a city attempting to make a name for itself.

Like many before them, KC encouraged the building of condos, and provided lavish property tax incentives in the hopes of luring young urban professionals to move downtown.  Unfortunately, they weren't smart enough to realize that they couldn't create real and sustainable neighborhoods if they couldn't force retailers necessary to creating such an atmosphere to move with them, providing everything from groceries to shoelaces (and they couldn't).  

Not dismayed by this apparent lack of urban planning success, someone in the city determined that their failure was merely one of scope and scale, and that to address this what they needed was a grander plan, including perhaps a shining glass bowl of a arena.  So they built the "Sprint Center" as a state-of-the-art facility with some private investment, but also over $200 million financed by the city through future hotel tax revenue.  When completed, they had indeed provided a superior downtown entertainment experience ... but unfortunately it sat empty most nights because the city had no professional sports franchise to anchor or support this rather pricey venue (and still doesn't).  (As a side note, not having such an entertainment venue in use didn't help the hotel tax revenues much either.)


No matter.  If they couldn't get entertainment to come to the arena, they'd build some around it.  So the next thing you know, taxpayer money was being invested in what would come to be known as the "Power and Light District".  This area would provide shops, clubs, and restaurants that would bring people downtown when nothing was happening at the Sprint Center; and add to the entertainment value of downtown when there was.  Of course nothing in life's free, and like it's predecessor, entertainment venues can be rather expensive.  The Power and Light District was expected to be a investment development of some $850 million dollars.  The city however, found itself financing some $180 million of it in loans as part of the deal.

But as Nobel prize winning economist Paul Krugman will tell you, the only reason that government investment fails in its efforts to stimulate the economy is because they fail to spend enough, or double down every time that there's an opportunity.  Kansas City was listening.

A group of city officials is now scrambling to put together paperwork in time to meet the application deadline for a Federal DOT grant of $25 million for ... (wait for it) ... a downtown street car system.  Obviously the city needs a new specialized transportation system to allow the few people who got suckered into the downtown condos (and who are now broke on these pricey units with their mortgages upside down), along with those who aren't going to the Sprint Center (because there's no game going on), and those not going to the Power and Light District (because the venues aren't enough to attract enough people to make this a break even proposition) to get from point to point within a very limited area of downtown. 

Besides, if they can get the Federal funding (Which is free after all, having fallen off the federal money tree, right?) the city will then only have to finance another $75 million of a transportation system that will go into an area already serviced more than adequately by buses.  Of course tearing up streets to put in tracks will probably have a deleterious effect on the businesses that this system is designed to serve until it's completed, perhaps even bankrupting them in this already lousy economy; but when it's done, there will be a beautiful (at least for a while) system to serve the businesses that will no longer need it.

You know, looking back in history, we like to throw stones at the 'robber-barons' of last couple of centuries, but at least they didn't ask for government bailouts when things failed to pan out.  Oh sure, many of them, like their more modern counterparts, got their share of government subsidies (in land, if not in cash); but they ended up being some of the most generous people in this nation's history.  Sure they were 'evil capitalists and shameless profiteers', but a lot of their ill gotten gains later went into the building schools, libraries, museums, and theaters to promote education and the arts in projects that didn't cost the city a cent.

Say what you will about sports owners of the past: that they abused "The Reserve Clause", failed to pay players their fair market value, and waited far too long to allow African-Americans into professional sports; but at least they built their own stadiums.  They may have bought and sold player contracts like they were trading in the futures market, but they didn't ask fans and non-fans alike to risk municipal and state funds on monuments to their own egos.

Kansas City has I fear, become the rule rather than the exception with its machinations, and few such projects here or anywhere else would even be attempted these days without a federal grant, state assistance, and municipal bonds to offset actual costs that will inevitably reach 100% budget overruns (if you're lucky).

In the end, what do any of these cities have to show for such city largess.  The average stadium or dome is lucky to last 30 years without demolition and replacement, often long before the last of the debt is paid off. Kemper Arena for example, once the shining jewel of Kansas City, now sits on demolition row as planners seek a smaller, friendlier, and more intimate venue to replace it.  The fact that KC can't support two such arenas only points to how fickle our civic leaders can be when there's a shiny new toy to play with. The disrepair and shabby condition in which Kemper is currently kept only heralds its doom and reincarnation.

But in the end, neighborhoods will rise and fall on the fickle nature of real estate investors as they always have; and even tax incentives won't produce a viable neighborhood, only a speculative one.  Entertainment Districts will go in and out of fashion with the regularity of women's hemlines,  and the latest craze (or taxpayer-backed project) will be hyped as the next salvation of the city while the plywood gets nailed over the windows of its predecessor.  Current public servants meanwhile, will merely hope that no one will notice that the last one is far from paid off while touting the benefits of the next.  The newest arenas become old quickly, and less attractive to fickle sports team owners who want a better scoreboard, owner's box, or more clever naming rights.  Before we know it, Kansas City will soon find itself doing urban renewal on what now are its two great attractions.  

Spring training is all but over and the baseball season is upon us.  Soon the Royals (who along with the Chiefs, got $575 million in taxpayer-funded stadium upgrades) will once more be seeking a prize that has eluded them since 1985.  City officials will likewise be misguidedly hoping that their investment will in some way be paid off by those coming for this year's All Star game, hoping the notoriety will likewise make them a winner.  

As it often does every baseball season,  hope spring eternal that such winners will come their way (being a Cubs fan, I ought to know).  For city officials however, real hope will undoubtedly be saved for the next city financed project; a dream that it will be the one that finally brings them a winner and makes a name for Kansas City.  Well, surprise gentlemen: I've got a new one for you already.  I vote that we rename KC from the 'City of Fountains' to the 'Field of Dreams', for it's obvious that its leaders are overcome with the spirit of the Kevin Costner film, "if you build it, they will come".

(For my friends in Toledo chuckling at the pratfalls of my current place of residence.  Don't laugh too quickly.  Instead, take this as the cautionary tale it was meant to be.)

Someone To Watch Over Me

(My recommendation is to enjoy the video while reading the post.  Trust me when I say that eventually it will all make sense.)

With  a unanimous vote of its City Council, Toledo becomes yet the latest in a growing number of cities to grow the number of cameras within its confines.  These were not the 11 red light cameras that I've written about before, to be added to 32 of their brethren in an effort once touted to promote traffic safety and not for the purpose of generating revenue. That ship sailed long ago after statistics showed that such cameras usually increase the number of rear end collisions in the intersections they're placed in and Toledo admitted that there was money to be made. But in cities like Toledo across the country that are starved for new sources of revenue in a tough economy, threatened by countless programs that they can't afford and buried under bloated union contracts for their safety workers, little more could be expected of elected officials who seldom consider the law of unintended consequences where their actions are concerned.

No, the vote this week was to purchase a different kind of cameras entirely; or more accurately, 150 of such cameras at a cost of $1.6 million.  In addition to the cameras, the city intends to use 4 members of a police department that many already claim is under-staffed to monitor them.  This program will be instituted (perhaps as a first step) in a technological effort for crime prevention and enforcement in the downtown and/or high crime areas of the Glass City.

Toledo is far from being alone in the installation of such cameras, and in fact might seem to have some way to go in order to compete with its 'Big Brothers' (George Orwell pun intended).  A  Wall Street Journal article from over two years ago points to an estimated 15,000 such cameras, in both public and private ownership, that are linked in Chicago to what the city calls "Operation Virtual Shield".  

New York City has a similar set up, though the last estimate on the number of cameras that I could find is probably woefully out-of date in a NYCLU report from 2006.  The maps contained in this report showing the locations of these cameras blanketing the city in various areas however, should be enough to frighten anyone (perhaps even more than the crime that they are supposed to monitor).  

London however has far and away taken the technological lead in city surveillance however, with estimates according to a British Channel 4 report from back in 2008 that there are 350-500,000 cameras under public or private ownership that are available to the local constabulary to monitor its citizens.

(Cities are notoriously recalcitrant in releasing the actual numbers of such cameras in use.  Go figure.  It seems rather strange not to do so however, if their intent is to, as they often tout, prevent crimes from occurring.) 

No ... make no mistake.  Regardless of the breast beating and dire warnings, this is not about crime prevention.  A camera can no more prevent a crime from happening than it can capture the perpetrator of that crime.  It can only take a picture (often rather poorly lighted and blurry) of the perpetrator in the act of committing it.  While these electronic sentinels may potentially contribute to reduced response times by police to such crimes, no statistics that I was able to uncover were able to document such an advantage.  And while they may make it somewhat easier to eventually track down the suspect and inevitably easier to convict them if they do, it will do nothing to protect citizens from either the crimes themselves or from the potential that the same crimes will be committed in the future.

What it will do however is remind everyone in the Glass City, and others around world that no matter where they are, someone is probably watching.  We're told that if we're not doing anything wrong, we have nothing to worry about, but we were told the same thing when TSA told us that making us safer would only prove a minor inconvenience.  We were told the same when the Patriot Act was passed to aid the good guys in catching the bad ones.

No, the answer here is as simple as it is subtle.  We have nothing to worry about as long as we aren't concerned about a level of government's ability to monitor its citizens without the protection of a legally issued warrant.  We have nothing to worry about as long as we are willing to give up our liberty and rights of privacy to achieve a purported level of safety on a public street. (Can anyone else remember what Benjamin Franklin said about liberty and safety?)  We have nothing to worry about as long as we blindly believe in the altruism of government officials and law enforcement agencies, that such surveillance will not become over time a not-so-subtle form of behavior modification.  We have nothing to worry about unless we're afraid to live with a bunker mentality where everyone is watching over their own shoulders to see who else is watching.

While I chose to entertain you with a rather eclectic Sting rendition of a classic George and Ira Gershwin tune from 1926, it doesn't require me to slip on my tin foil hat to tell you that I'm anything but comforted in knowing that no matter where I am, soon there will undoubtedly be "Someone to Watch Over Me".

 

TFP Column: The Lead Dog

Last week I got an early start in my efforts and found myself well ahead of my compatriots in getting it posted.  This week I may even be a little late in getting something together, and find myself further back in the pack in getting published.


Strangely enough, this type of jockeying for position in the Republican Primary is the subject of this week column: "The Lead Dog".  I'm not sure why most of us should care about the results, even at this point (since there are still 33-1/2 primaries to go), but I suppose that your relative position could have some impact on your ability to raise money; regardless of your ability to raise interest in the process.


While primary news may be of dubious benefit to the Glass City, there will undoubtedly be a lot more of interest in this weekend's edition.  Considering that we're talking about Toledo's largest Sunday circulation and Ohio's best weekly newspaper for the third year in a row, the Toledo Free Press; why would that surprise you?

TFP Column: Red Light Cameras Are All Wet

For years we heard from the city that it installed red light cameras at intersections in Toledo not to make money, but to promote public safety.  While statistics gathered in other cities said otherwise and questions continued to surface about the ‘presumption of guilt' that was used in processing these offenses, the Glass City’s leaders insisted that this was not in fact a “red light scofflaw tax”.

In a stunning reversal the city’s Finance Director, Patrick Mclean this week declared just the opposite, talking about adding to the city’s electronic intersection guardians as a way to supplement funds for youth recreation programs like the city’s pools.  It seemed therefore appropriate that the topic of this week’s effort for the Toledo Free Press would be “Red Light Cameras Are All Wet”.

In it, I give some of the safety statistics now abandoned, as well as the city's ‘robbing Peter to pay Paul’ concept of financial planning a bit of airing out.  I even manage to do so before City Council takes its vote on it this afternoon.

Being as early in the week as it is, there will be much more going on in the Glass City this week however.  Issues that will best be covered in both the TFP mid-week Star edition, as well as this weekend’s edition of Toledo’s largest Sunday circulation and Ohio’s best weekly newspaper (3 years in a row), the Toledo Free Press.